Sweet Talk (COMPLETE)

41 - Way More

It'd been over a month since everything changed. One month at school. One month with a new job. And one month in my very own place. Most of the time, I felt like me again. Sometimes, I even felt like a new and improved, more independent version of myself.

But there were days when something would trigger thoughts of Evan that I couldn't stop, and I still felt like an idiot. Times when I just wanted to stay in bed and hide from the world so no one would see that he'd always be a part of me.

He'd changed me in ways I could never get rid of, but maybe it was for the best. I wasn't as carefree as I'd once been, but I wasn't as gullible, either. I was stronger. Smarter. More cautious.

I thought I'd never want to be with a man again, but Michelle was right—time heals. Even in this short time, I knew deep down, I still wanted that dreamy love. The kind Michelle and Jarod each had. The kind that never lost the tingles and excitement.

So much had changed in the last month, but it all paled in comparison to the shift I'd felt in my heart since dinner with Jake the other night. The way he'd looked at me, the things he said. Those few minutes on my porch had replayed in my mind a thousand times. Each time, my heart raced with the memory of how his deep voice tightened with emotion when he called me, my Camilla.

Turned out, the parts of me I'd thought of as broken or dead were just sleeping. My heart was taking a much needed break after the hell it'd been through, but now that was over. It was time to let myself feel, but more than that, it was time to let myself hope, and if I was going to pin my hopes on anyone, it would be Jake.

I needed to tell him how I felt. He should know he hadn't been the only one denying feelings. Apparently, we'd both valued our friendship so much that we were afraid to lose it. That had to be a good thing.

We really knew each other, not just the superficial stuff, and we still loved each other enough to want to protect our relationship. We had a firm foundation to build on, and if I let myself dream, there was so much I could see myself building with him.

Glancing around the shop, I made sure all the customers were taken care of before pulling my phone out. I'd text Jake before I gave myself a chance to overthink.

Me: Are you busy tonight?

His reply was instant.

Jake: Never too busy for you. What's up?

Me: Do you want to come over for dinner? I'll cook.

Jake: Sounds good. What should I bring?

Me: Just you. See you at 6?

Jake: I'll be there.

Butterflies, way more than one, filled my stomach. He was coming, and I'd tell him how I feel.

I took a deep breath and told myself it'd be fine before starting a mental list of everything I needed to do after work. First, I'd go to the grocery store. I'd make something totally different from the barbeque he worked with all the time. Lasagne! I made it once, and it came out good!

Nausea twisted inside me, making my throat squeeze as the memory barged in, trampling my happy thoughts. I hadn't known it was our six-month anniversary until Evan got home with flowers.

Within minutes, I was kneeling on the dining room floor, sucking his cock, stupidly grateful to be so wanted. He told me to ride him there at the table and I basked in his lies of love as I did what he wanted without ever thinking about if it was what I wanted.

The sex felt good. It always did with him, but it always held an edge of demand too. It never occurred to me to say no or tell him it felt wrong. Not even afterward when I wanted to dress and he took my clothes away, saying he liked seeing me that way, with his cum dripping from my pretty cunt.