The Sinner's Saint

SWEAR ON IT

"Don't bother." She slides her bag onto her shoulder without fully looking at him. "You stood me up, you didn't even call ahead, I was worried about you more than the fact that you were too busy for me."

"I tried to call you. I swear I tried, I had no reception, my phone was—" She shakes her head slowly.

"Sure, Lev,"

"Alex, please," he says, his voice breaking slightly and taking a step closer for her to step back. "Something happened on the roads, There was traffic, I-" She gives him a look so dry he actually stops talking mid-sentence.

"Seriously? Traffic,"

"I swear on everything I love." He reaches for her hand and she pulls it back fast like he burned her. The look she gives him after that is sharp and angry and sad all at once, the kind he's never had aimed at him before, not from her. "I was going to be there. I would never just not show up for you."

"Once again I ended up being the stupid one," she says quietly and that hits somewhere he isn't prepared for because she's never once been stupid, not once, not in any version of this story. She scoffs and turns to leave. In a moment of desperation, he slides the ring off his finger and puts it in her hand. She looks down at it. She knows what it means for him to give her that, where it came from.

"Don't make promises you can't keep, Aleksei." She tries to give it back like she can't bear the weight of it. He holds both her hands and doesn't let her. She looks tired and done and he hates that he's the reason.

"I'll keep it. I swear." For a moment, her expression falters, something softening underneath like she believes him but then she pulls her hands back and shakes her head.

"Sure."
"What's that?" she asks suddenly, her eyes dropping to his leg and staying there. His new pants had a dark stain and it was spreading. He follows her gaze. He knew he needed stitches but he didn't want the nurses to do it.

"Sit down."

"It's fine—"

"Sit. Down." He sits. She puts her bag back on the counter without a word, ties her hair back, and goes for the first aid kit. His family filters in from the hallway in ones and twos, quiet, trying to look like they weren't listening from outside. His nene, Canan, Siena, Sasha, Liana, Selin. Ahmed near the door. Nobody says anything, the room just fills up gently around them.

His Nene, Canan, Siena, Sasha, Liana and Selin. Ahmed's near the door. Nobody says anything, The room just fills up gently around them.

"You like these pants?" she asks, kneeling in front of him without looking up.

"Sorry." She cuts straight through the hem. He winces, more at her tone than anything else. She unwraps what's left of his makeshift bandage and goes still for a second when she sees the state of it.

"Did you do this yourself?"

"Yeah." She nods and presses two fingers just below his knee. He flinches.

"This happened yesterday?" Her voice is softer now. He knows the second the question lands that he's either in or out, so he just nods.

"Before or after you stood me up?"

"... Before," she stops moving, sitting back on her heels. She closes her eyes for a moment and the whole room holds its breath. He can hear his own pulse. She shakes her head and gets back to work wordlessly, cleaning it properly. He watches her hold everything in through sheer stubbornness, her hands shaking slightly, blinking more than she needs to. He feels about as low as he's ever felt.

"The girl I saw," she randomly says, not looking up. At first he's confused by what she's talking about but then it clicks, she came to his office.

"Nothing happened."