Sunsets and August

4

Head. Empty.

After reading his message, my mind drew a blank for a moment. Was he just being friendly, or... was there a hint of something more? We just met and talked today, right? Or did I miss a subtle cue? 

Ugh! Why is decoding messages feel like solving a cryptic puzzle?

I couldn't help but wonder if he was hitting on me. Is it just my imagination running wild, or did he use the smiley emoji that could be interpreted as flirty? 

My head's like a tumbleweed right now—empty and rolling in different directions.

Okay... deep breaths, Xan. Kalma! 

Is it too early to be entertaining these thoughts? But then again, why did my heart flip when I read his message? It's like a bunch of butterflies threw a party in my stomach. Is this normal? 

Wait, what is expected in these situations?

Maybe I'm overthinking. It's just a message, right? People can be friendly without any ulterior motives. 

But what if... 

No, no, no. Don't jump to conclusions. 

I should reply casually, keep it light, and see where the conversation goes. Right?

Or mag-react nalang ako ng haha or heart emoji? But... I think that isn't nice. 

"Ma'am, nasa baba na po mga magulang niyo. Kakauwi lang po nila at hinahanap ka." Natauhan naman ako ng marinig ko yung sinabi ng aming kasambahay. 

"Pababa na po." sabi ko at inayos muna ang sarili dahil para na akong baliw kakaisip nang kung ano-ano. 

I sighed and went down. My parents are back. Sometimes, I wish they would never return home for a month because they just stress me out whenever they are here. We are never that loving family anyway. 

The living room felt tense pagkababa ko. I saw my parents sitting on opposite ends of the room, their expressions a mix of formality and distance.

"Welcome back home, okaa-san and oto-san." I walked and bowed towards them and gave them tight hugs. They hugged me in return and binigay sa akin mga pasalubong ko. After that, nagdinner na kami nang sabay-sabay. Ang tahimik bigla ng bahay dahil walang nagsasalita sa amin sa dining room. 

"Xanrille," my mother spoke, breaking the room's silence, her voice laced with a certain sternness always accompanied by academic discussions. "How's school?"

"It was fine, Mom," I replied, trying to keep my tone neutral. "Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Your grades, Xan," my father said, his gaze fixed on me. "How are they?"

"They're okay, Dad," I answered, feeling the weight of their expectations. "Besuto o tsukushite iru."

My mother's eyes narrowed slightly, and I could almost sense the unspoken words lingering in the air. It was a familiar script that replayed whenever academic matters were brought up. The pressure to excel to meet their standards was a constant presence in our home.

"Manang Fely told me kanina na may naghatid sayo dito? A guy?" Nanlaki ang mata ko sa sinabi ni Mom. Muntik ko na rin mahulog yung chopsticks ko dahil natakot ako sa sasabihin niya. I didn't know that our helpers are watching! 

"A guy? Is it one of your friends na tumatambay dito?" Dad asked. Umiling ako at uminom muna ng tubig para makausap sila ng maayos.

"A new friend po sa school, friend po namin nila Bea. Galing po kami sa coffee shop and hinatid po kami kase gabi na." I answered casually. Kitang kita ko naman kung paano tumaas ang isang kilay ni Mom na parang hindi siya naniniwala sa sinasabi ko.