Sunsets and August

7

Nandito kami ngayon sa Hidden Hatch Hookah Bar and Cafe malapit sa UST. Nagkaayaan kase kaming magkakaibigan na mag-hangout ngayon. Lahat kami ay nasa Dean's List at masasabi kong deserve namin lumabas ngayon. 

It's been a month simula nung huling usap naman ni Caleb. Hindi na rin siya nangulit para kausapin ako. Mabuti nalang rin at tumigil si Bea at Joaquin sa pagpupumilit na kausapin ko pa ang lalaki na 'yon. I had my valid reasons anyway. 

Pumayag naman ako sa dare pero hindi ko inaasahan na ganito pala kalala ang mangyayari sa'kin kapag na-involved sa kanya.

I feared getting involved in his life, so I avoided him. I don't like being the center of attention. The idea of being seen in public makes me uncomfortable. My parents have always shown me off to others when my brother is not around, presenting me as a prized possession and boasting about my academic achievements. But behind closed doors, they become critical and disappointed. 

I know that I am just their second option. 

They pretend to be proud of me in front of their friends and business partners. Na-pressure ako mag-aral dahil sa kanila. Afraid that I'd fail and disappoint their expectations of me being the perfect daughter of the Hishinuma's, I avoided going to their business meetings, parties, etc. 

I avoided the spotlight. 

But it's not just about avoiding the spotlight. Deep down, I'm troubled by doubts regarding what Caleb truly wants from me. Is he really my friend? Or am I merely a temporary distraction, a way for him to move on from someone else? It bothers me a lot. It reminds me of the times when I felt like I was just someone's second choice, used and then thrown away.

"Earth to Xan! Huy! Kanina ka pa tulala diyan." Natauhan lang ako ng pitikin ni Althea ang noo ko. Ang sakit ng ginawa niya! Inirapan ko siya habang ito ay natatawa sa reaksyon ko.

I need to have some fun. I can't let myself be drowned by my thoughts earlier. 

Sakto naman na kakapasa lang sa'kin ang shot glass. Naamoy ko na tequila ang laman nito. Walang pag-aalinlangan ay nilagok ko agad ang laman. My friends cheered for me and poured some more. 

"Congratulations to us! To more achievements with you all!" sigaw ni Bea na ngayon ay naghahanda para mag-picture sa Instagram story niya. We all raised our glass and smiled for the camera. 

Pagkatapos ay kanya-kanyang re-story na lang kami sa post ni Bea. Hindi gaano marami ang tao ngayon dito sa Hidden Hatch pero naaagaw namin ang mga tingin ng ibang customer. Siguro dahil kanina pa kami maingay at nagtatawanan. 

Maliit lang kase ang lugar na 'to. Konti lang rin ang nakakaalam, kaya nga natawag na Hidden Hatch kase nakatago siya malapit sa P. Campa. Simula nung nahanap nila Shaina itong bar ay dito na ang tambayan namin pagkatapos ng term o kaya finals. 

"Hi, my friend wants to ask if you are single?" tanong ng isang lalaki kay Althea. Nakita ko ang suot niya na ID at nursing siya sa UST. 

"What?" si Thea na natatawa sa lumapit. I saw how she scanned the guy from head to toe and how she rolled her eyes. 

"My friend—"

"Saan ang friend na tinutukoy mo? Bakit hindi siya lumapit para magtanong sa'kin?" This woman is so fierce lately. Something is off with her.

"Oh uh... Ace! I told you na ikaw yung lumapit!" Nagkatinginan naman kami lahat nung lumapit ang Ace na tinutukoy niya. Nahihiya siya na tumingin kay Althea habang nasulyapan ko naman ang nanginginig na kamay. 

Again, my friend scanned him from head to toe at nakita ko ang konting pag ngisi niya rito. That's not her type, but I know Althea when she wants to play. The guy is taller than her, and he got the looks. Payat nga lang kaya hindi ito papasa sa standards niya.