padam - a jan peteh pov story

6

Before long, we all agreed to call it a day. The hazy sun was beginning to drape beneath the buildings on the horizon, and we had quickly ran out of things to talk about given our closeness during the last few weeks. After one too many awkward silences, Jure suggested that it was time to leave, an idea with which everyone agreed with hastily.

Kris was the first to walk through the door, having aged at least twenty years due to the stress. Looking at him, a few new wrinkles had developed onto his face, tunnelling out small crevices on his forehead and around his cheeks. He muttered something as he exited, which I didn't catch. I immediately exchanged glances with Nace, silently asking if he knew what was said, and he just shrugged confusedly in response.

Jure left only a few minutes later; his plan was originally to go when Kris did, yet Igor had made himself comfy on his lap at a very inconvenient time. However, being the cat he was, it didn't take him long for him to become bored and migrate onto my lap instead, digging his claws through my jeans.

'Bye, guys.' he announced while standing up, seeing that I was distracted by Igor's sudden need to scratch me to pieces through the thin denim. Nace looked up towards him, and then raised himself from the sofa too.

'I best leave as well. Thanks, Jan.' he nodded towards me, smiling briefly. My stale expression probably didn't calm him, and I didn't want to upset him further, so I folded my features into a totally unconvincing fake grin . Despite not giving it all of my energy, he seemed to take it as a positive - the storm of worry in his eyes quickly evaporated, being replaced with the gentle maroon I associated with him.

'Thanks for coming.' I said plainly, struggling to find other words to say that weren't negative towards Bojan. Every time I got close to just speaking the words that appeared in my mind, I managed to choke on the sentences; probably a good thing, due to the fact that anyone could switch to his side at any given moment. For now, it was best to play the game as though I was alone.

'I'm just sorry he didn't show.' Nace apologised, taking a further step backwards to be on par with Jure.

'Yeah. Don't worry about it.' I tried to comfort him, yet my efforts were futile. Without another word, the pair walked across the apartment, and left the living room quietly.

I let out a huge exhale as the click of the door rendered me alone; I sunk my face deep into Igor's fur, trying to find solace in his warmth. Yet, as I shut my eyes in a desperate clutch at relaxation, turning my vision black, I could only think of the problem at hand. Unpleasant scenarios made their way into my mind, each one offering significantly more shouting and turmoil than the last. All I wanted was to cut them out, to act like everything was normal, yet my mind was teetering on the edge of a total shutdown under the constant fear.

I snapped my head up, cracking my neck. I knew someone I could talk to about this; there was no point in lingering on this cragged edge any longer.

Snatching my phone from the table, where it had lay unused for the last few hours, I quickly opened my messaging app and tapped on Lilia's contact. I knew I shouldn't tie her into this, but I needed someone outside of the group I could talk to.

lilia

17:23

bojan's being an idiot to all of us, i don't know what to do anymore

i'm sure he'll come around

he's like that, isn't he?

I was surprised at the instant response, yet understood that she was probably struggling to make herself at home back in England - she probably needed to speak to me as much as I needed to speak to her. This just made me feel even more awful for spilling all of this information onto her; she would surely work out that this affair had been brewing while she had been here, only to erupt the moment she went away.