padam - a jan peteh pov story

9

girlsforprotitoku: for once its joker out causing their own drama and not the fandom, round of applause everyone!

vsekarvemily: i know they probably won't tell us why they've fallen out but like ?? i'm nosy and don't know who to assume is im the wrong ??

jokeroutaustria: Joker Out Official Instagram releases statement about Bojan's illness, which is quickly denied by the singer himself. He claims that the reason for his absence is 'issues' between the band. What do you think? #JokerOut

zemislimnate: joker out more problematic than their fans at this point

heartsfornacejordan: not to invade on their personal shit but isn't this something they should sort out in private and not on social media?

coloursoftheocean: @heartsfornacejordan i agree, they should communicate more

jokeringabout: could've just told us kris was getting sick of bojan again rather than this entire mess

'I'm so fucking done.' Kris paced my apartment. I had invited him back after having seen his rising stress levels; it wasn't like me to leave such a close friend alone. Although we had drifted apart slightly in recent years, due to our intensifying friendships with other band members, I looked at him now and saw the upset and tense young boy I had once known. The one who had already been mocked by Bojan, the one who had had to try so hard to survive his absence when he left us. For the third time, he had been failed by our singer - and my heart sank as I considered this.

'Kris, calm down a little.' I encouraged gently, my words empty, given that I knew he would not rest any time soon.

'Look at all of these messages, Jan, and tell me that I don't have a reason to worry.' he thrusted the phone in my face again, and I was forced to read post after post about our little mess, from fans who had been dragged into it for no reason at all. My lips remained sealed; he rolled his eyes in utter frustration and began to walk up and down the living room once more.

'This doesn't just affect the next few days. This affects so much more.' he continued, his eyes widening as he spoke to nobody in particular. 'He's either ruined our image, or ruined his own. Or ruined both.'

'This is not permanent, Kris. It'll pass with a few days.' I told him quietly, as though through keeping my voice low, I would be able to mask the truth - that I, in fact, agreed with him.

'Things like this don't just pass.' he raised his voice slightly, his anger taking hold. 'They linger, and crop back up to spite you.'

'There's nothing we can do about it now.' I reminded, and then watched as he proceeded to turn around slowly. Behind his eyes, I watched a bomb detonate in his mind, his facade crumbling as the safe shelter fell down around him. His vision shuffled from left to right, a desperate attempt to withhold a flood of tears that I recognised as imminent.

'I always knew he was annoying.' he laughed through the wetness of his eyes, reminiscing on the times we had shared in the past - from the moment we were invited to join the band, to his insufferable drunk self at the Eurovision pre-parties. 'But I didn't know he could be this annoying more than once.'

With that, he stopped talking, joining me on the sofa silently and resting his head on my right shoulder. I felt him sigh; the near-silent exhale caught on the air too. Lifting my hand from my lap, I wrapped it around his back, allowing his tall self to cozy into me a little more.

His cheek burned hot against my exposed shoulder - my skin was already warm, and so I knew he was in a total decline. His blood vessels were clearly irritated by the sudden worries; I wished that I could ease his mind.