in this forever - dnf football au

9

George's pov:

i shower the very second i get home to get off any of the germs from the cell, none of my clothes are in this room and i really don't want to see to dream so instead i let myself fall into bed completely naked and cry myself to sleep.

the next morning i wake up to the sound of ivys cries, i'm tempted to go in and sooth her but i can already hear dream in the nursery with her and seeing him really isn't what i want right now, instead i wrap the comforter from my bed around me and walk towards our bedroom to try and find some clothes to wear. I want to be as quick as possible so grab the first thing i see and shuffle back to my room to find the clothes are a pair of dreams boxer shorts, one of his hoodies and his sweatpants, as much as my head it telling to go and pick out another outfit my heart it screaming for me to cover myself in his clothes and his smell,

i decide to keep them, they're r far to big for me but despite my current loathing of his, dreams smell is still incredibly comforting. i put the hood up if the jumper and allow myself a couple moments of happiness before i come back and face the reality of the situation, i don't know what to do. i can hardly text someone for advice because i'm clearly in the wrong and all of my friends and his friends first, i feel so overwhelmed that i can hardly breathe, i decide to go for a walk to clear my head,

i walk downstairs but i'm met with dream cuddling with ivy on the couch as she drinks from her bottle, he looks over at me with pure hatred in his eyes, it's enough to make me cry, then ivy looks over as me, "dada!" he laughs making grabby hands for me, dream glares as me a i pick her up off the couch and hold her,

"good morning sweetie," i say, my voice is horse from crying all night, i can feel dreams death glares so i put her back down on the couch, he instantly wraps a protective arm around her and kisses her forehead, "i was just gonna go out and get some air," i mumble,

"and how can i trust you not gonna end up in jail again," he snaps,

"i just need to think please," i cry,

"and i just want you to tell me what the fuck possessed you to end up in jail," he snarks,

"i'm- i can't-," my breath begins to get heavier and heavier until i'm struggled to breathe, i turn around and walk back upstairs in hysterics then fall into bed where i hide for the rest of the day.

the next day is the same, i try to let ivy know i'm still here and that i love her greatly but dream seems to have nothing but hatred towards me right now,

from then on i give up going downstairs in the daytime when i know they'll be down there, i usually eat at night but i can hardly eat without feeling nauseous from guilt and anxiety,

a week passes and nothing is getting better, i don't think i've so so lonely since i lived with my parents, house arrest is what i used to call it when they would get particularly mad at me and i wasn't allowed to see my friends or go outside, this feels like house arrest,

another week passes and i feel my mental state falling apart, it feels like this rough patch will never end, i don't know how to talk to him anymore and it's clear he has concerns for me.

it's a thursday when i decide to do it, i don't see a purpose for me in this family or in this world, it's clear dream and ivy don't need me anymore so i'm being selfish and putting myself out of my misery. i won't make it messy, i'll do it in the middle of friday night and text him my note so when dream wakes up in the morning he'll know not to let ivy anywhere near where i'll be.

i begin to record myself reading ivy's favourite books for her incase she ever missed me, i also record birthday and christmas messages for her so she can have something to remember me by, that's if dream doesn't decide to completely forget about me and move on, i wonder who he'll marry, i wonder if they'll be able to have kids, i wonder if he even wants kids,