in this forever - dnf football au

14

George's pov)

once dream and ivy have hung up i continue to walk around target picking out anything i think ivy would like, first i go to the food section and pick out some snacks then i head to the clothes section.

like in all stores the baby clothes and all in one place,
there's another woman there with a small baby bump, it was so small you wouldn't be able to notice it if it weren't for her tight fitting top and the hand she had resting over it.

that should be me i think as i stand beside her looking through the clothes, the last few weeks only really hit me now, i can help but copy her in resting my hand over my abdomen,

"what are you doing here? shopping for a sister?" she
laughs, my heart breaks slightly,

"no, i've got a eighteen month old, she sick i'm just getting some stuff to cheer her up," i inform her with a sharp tone,

"oh sorry, i really should be here i'm only a couple weeks along," she sighs,

"i'm ten weeks with my second," i lie, i don't quite know why, i don't want people to think i'm a bad dad, thankfully she looks past my lie to the fact what looks like a teenage boy just told her he's pregnant, "i'm trans," i laugh, bring ing my other hand to rest over my vacant womb,

"oh i've seen you online you're that football player's husband," she smiles, husband god i wish, but he hasn't showed any interest in proposing so i haven't let my mind wander there yet,

"yeah i am," i blush, cringing slightly that she's probably ready every little insight of our public relationship.

"well i have to go it was lovely to meet you," she says walking away,

"you too," i mumble, even when she's gone i keep my hand resting on my belly, as i flip through the racks of clothes i imagine the kicking sensation i felt with ivy and how it could've been with the other baby.

i distract myself with picking out clothes but once i've found her a new outfit, a matching onesie and hat, a sleepsuit and a new dress along with countless hair accessories so dream can do her hair, i feel myself begin to cry, i quickly rush to gather the last of the supplies i need then pay by self checkout and run back to my car.

i sit in the back for a while with hot tears streaming down my face as i assemble ivys back of presents, i think about the child i lost, i think it would've been a boy, a mini version on dream, or maybe what i would've been like if i was cis, yeah, a mini me, dream would adore him, and as he grew up dream would've take him to all his games and make all the players sign his jersey, he's teach him how to throw a ball and they would play football in our garden every day and so all the boyish stuff ivy was uninterested in, or maybe he'd be shy like me and ivy, he'd grow up to love reading and unlike would be top of his class.

or maybe it would be another little girl, her and ivy could share a room and become the best of friends, dream would become a 'girl dad' and have two heads of curly blonde hair to do each morning, or maybe she'd be a brunette like i was with long silky hair that dream would plait every night, maybe she won't let us do her hair, she'd be dreams little football star, and have a childhood of scuffed trainers and scraped up knees, two little girls using dreams jerseys as nighties.

i'm in hysterics by the time ivys gift bag is made up. "i just need to see dream," i tell myself, but deep down i can feel an ache i don't think anything heal but a baby in my womb.

thankfully the hospital is only a couple minutes from target so i don't need to wait to long before i'm back in the room and sadness filling my heart is replace with love as i watch the two blondes in bed the older man who's half awake hold the younger similar to the way i've seen mama beards hold their young in nature documentaries, against his chest, ivys face pressed into the facbric, "look who's hear ivy," dream smiles running his hand up and down her back,