A Fresh Start (Book 6 Arrow/SPN Series)

Meaningless Years

I went out into the living room, Cougar and Sam were just finishing up their food and I didn't see Roy. "Let's move this party back to the hotel. She's okay to move and we're all beat. Where's Roy?"

"Outside talking to Thea," Sam answered. "You driving or?"

I shot a quick look at Cougar, I didn't really want to step on his toes and he had to still be pretty concerned about her.

"I'll take Sam and Roy back," he said, "She has the keys to her room."

"Sounds good. Thanks."

We cleaned up, wiped the place down for prints and Roy walked back inside. "We moving?"

"Yeah, hotel. You're riding with Cougar and Sam, I'll take Coyote."

"All right."

I snagged the bottle of whiskey and they took the rest of the alcohol and trash and left. I went back into the bedroom, "You ready to go?"

She nodded and slowly stood up. I got my arm around her waist and she leaned pretty hard into me. "Still not feeling too hot huh?"

"Headache, weak, kind of dizzy but I'll live. The food helped. Thanks for making the trip."

"Sure thing." We worked our way to Baby, I got her into the passenger seat and we headed back. The spot right in front of her room was open so I pulled in and helped her get to the door. Once the door was open I picked her up and set her on the bed. "Need anything?"

"No."

"Good," I settled in right next to her and she curled up, put her hand on my chest and sighed.

"Missed this."

"Me too." We didn't say much at first, we both needed to readjust to being around each other, especially after what I'd said. It felt good to feel her next to me, hear her breathing but there was a feeling about it that hadn't been there before. In the past, I'd always seen the times I spent with her as a break from my real life. I wouldn't let myself get too comfortable with it, she hadn't either. Once we'd hit the third or at the most fourth day of being around each other walls started going back up. Sometimes hers had first, sometimes mine, but there was so much baggage that I carried from being a hunter that I made sure to split before I could get used to being around her. I'd tell myself it was the best for everyone, blah, blah but there were times it hurt like hell and I'd had to force myself to leave. Now, with what her guide had shown me I could look at that baggage in a totally different way. Who did I have to live for now? That guilt had always pushed me, without it, or with at least knowing where it stemmed from I had to figure out what was actually important to me. What I wanted.

"So, I had an interesting conversation with your guide. It said you asked it to talk some sense into me."

I couldn't see her face but I felt her lips shift into a smile, "Maybe."

"Uh huh. Bold choice there, thinking a furry spirit would get through to me."

She tensed up a bit, "After seeing your Warrior Spirit, I thought you'd be willing to listen. I know that had to have gotten to you, seeing yourself like that."

"Yeah, it did. Your guide showed me something that I'd buried a long time ago and something that was blocked from me."

"Want to tell me?" She said as she sat up.

"In a minute. First, thank you for doing what you did with the pouch, giving me something to hold on to. There were way too many nights where that was the only thing keeping me sane, giving me the strength to hold on against the Mark." I lightly kissed her forehead and pulled back, "Sam did everything he could but the Mark started to turn me against him, it was part of it. I had to push him away so really all I had was you. I was too busy fighting to realize that what I felt from the pouch, from you, was getting stronger. If I had I would have gotten a hold of you sooner." She opened her mouth to tell me it wouldn't have changed things, I put my finger over her lips and she waited. "Let me finish. I know what you would have said, but it's been gone over a month now and the only reason I called you was this job. That's wrong and nothing you say is going to change my mind. If nothing else I should have at least said thank you."