~<*>~ Pain in me ~<*>~

Chapter 9

"Are you feeling better?" Dino asks concerned as he hands over a cup of coffee to Scoups. The older male doesn't look so pale anymore, but he's still slightly shaking.
"I'll be fine, thanks", Scoups answers a bit rude.
"Hey, what's up with the attitude?" Dino asks a bit offended.
"I don't know, maybe my roommate didn't discuss a very important subject with me before just casually sharing it with the whole crew?" Scoups sits up straight and puts his cup of coffee down frustrated. Dino blinks surprised and takes a minute before he answers.
"I didn't know this would be such a big deal to you, I just saw it this morning and you were sleeping, I didn't want to wake you up..." Dino can't even finish his sentence before Scoups raises his hand.
"Wait, you just saw the note this morning? You didn't even think properly about it?" Dino notices that Scoups has trouble not raising his voice.
"What? I..."
"What even makes you sure that you can believe Minho?" Scoups repeats the doubts of the crew from before.
"I just have a gut feeling", Dino mumbles with his head hanging low.
"A gut feeling? Seriously?" Scoups scoffs and turns his head away from his roommate. Dino feels like his heart is shattered, why is Scoups so goddamn angry?
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you like this", Dino whispers and Scoups sighs deeply.
"You don't know how difficult it is for me," Scoups grits through his teeth, "I have had so many nightmares and it was finally starting to fade, and now it all comes back because of your stupid note! Do you know how tiring, scary and stressful this is? I hate it, I hate me because of it! How can I keep living if this keeps on haunting me?" The older's voice starts to tremble as emotions start to overwhelm both males.
"Scoups, I can help you..." Dino tries to comfort his friend, but Scoups stands up firmly.
"No! You have done enough", he says before he walks to his room and slams the door shut behind him. Dino stares at the door in shock, he didn't know this was so senitive to Scoups. A deep sigh escapes the younger male's lips as he grabs his phone.

To Aylen
Do you wanna meet up? Think I need a talk :/

Two full minutes pass by before the blonde girl replies.

From Aylen
Sure, I'm free! The coffee shop?

Dino texts he will be there before he gets up to leave. He looks back at the door where Scoups is behind, but decides to leave without saying anything. Scoups wants to be alone anyway, Dino can only fulfill his wish.

A few minutes later, the brunette already arrives at the cozy coffee shop. It does feel a bit weird knowing that he has been here a few times with Minho, but he still has a smile on his face when he enters. Aylen is different from Minho, she is way more kind and pretty as well. What could she possibly do? And maybe there is still someone from Stray kids running around freely, but she is not one of them, Dino is sure. Aylen is just a kind woman who recently moved here and doesn't even know what happened here two years ago. Dino can totally trust her. 
"Hi", Aylen greets Dino as he sits down in front of her.
"Thanks for meeting up", Dino responds and Aylen only nods shortly in return, telling him it's okay. Dino doesn't understand how or why, but with Aylen he feels at ease, he feels comfortable. A bit like Scoups, actually. 
"What do you want to talk about?" Aylen snaps Dino out of his toughts with her sweet voice. The brunette blinks surprised before he answers.
"I just have a hard time with my roommate", Dino sighs as Aylen listens carefully. Even though they barely met, Aylen already feels like a good friend.
"Are you two still fighting?" Aylen asks surprised and Dino nods hesitating.
"We made up the night I met you, but he's mad at me again now", Dino lets his head fall on the table defeated while a waiter brings their drinks.
"He's okay", Aylen tells the waiter as she notices him looking at Dino weirdly.
"I already ordered us drinks while I was waiting", she adds as she notices Dino looking at her puzzled. The waiter leaves with a judgy look in his eyes. Aylen signs Dino to continue.
"I brought up something very traumatizing to him, but I didn't know it was this bad. He really snapped when we talked about it. He's even mad at me for not discussing it with him earlier!" Dino yells out in disbelief and Aylen slowly nods her head.
"That sounds like a shitty roommate", Aylen mumbles.
"No! Scoups is a lovely man, he just had a really rough time", Dino defends his friend. Maybe he didn't think about it this way a few days ago, but now he's sure, he loves Scoups as much as before he went to jail, maybe even more. Dino finally starts to understand the pain Scoups has been through. Aylen stares at Dino for a few seconds in shock and the brunette starts to doubt if he said something wrong.
"Scoups?" Aylen stutters in shock and Dino nods his head puzzled.
"Yeah, that's my roommate. Is something wrong with that?" Dino asks unsure, but Aylen quickly shakes her head in denial.
"No, nothing wrong! Just a pretty name", she chuckles as her cheeks start to turn a little bit red, it's almost not noticeable, but Dino sees it.
"Yeah, I guess it's a pretty name", Dino mumbles before he sips from his coffee.
"I think you two should talk about it. And don't forget to express the fact that you really didn't know it was this bad. I think he doesn't really get that yet. And if he doesn't respond, just wait a minute, he probably needs some time to calm down." Dino stares at Aylen speechless for a brief moment before he can speak again.
"How did you come up with that?" he asks impressed.
"I think he would be someone like that", Aylen chuckles shy.
"Thanks a lot, you're the best!" Dino smiles grateful and Aylen waves it off giggling.
"What are you doing?" Aylen asks confused when Dino suddenly gets up.
"I'm going to talk to Scoups right now. I want to fix it before tomorrow", Dino explains and Aylen nods impressed.
"You're a good friend", is the only thing she says before Dino is gone.

It only takes the brunette ten minutes to walk, or rather run, from the coffee shop to his house. He's all sweaty, but still manages to catch his breath before he walks inside. Strangely, the lights are out and to Dino's surprise, no one seems to be home.
"Scoups?" the younger asks softly, but only silence responses. Nervous and with tiny steps, Dino approaches Scoups' room and softly knocks on his door.
"Scoups?" Dino tries again, but once again there is no answer. The brunette holds his breath and counts to ten before he opens the door. The squeak that the wood makes, sounds like an explosion in this silence. 
"Scoups? Are you here?" Dino tries one last time and now he finally hears something: the sound of heavy breathing.
"Shit, not again", Dino curses underneath his breath while he finds his way towards Scoups' bed in complete darkness. After his eyes have adjusted to the dark, he can see the silhouette of his friend, restlessly tossing and turning in bed. Concerned, Dino quickly places his hand on Scoups' forehead and notices that he is indeed sweating a lot. Dino exhales deeply and looks at Scoups in pity.
"I thought the nightmares were going better", Dino softly says while he gently takes Scoups' hand. The younger has been doing this every night since he overheard Scoups' conversation with Joshua and he noticed that Scoups' nightmares went better since Dino did this, but now it seems to have gotten worse. 
"Hey, it's okay. I'm here", Dino tries to comfort Scoups, although his roommate can't hear him anyway because he's sleeping. After half an hour of holding Scoups' hand, the older male finally comes at ease and sleeps peacefully. Dino smiles relieved and gets up to walk out of the room, but he stumbles against a chair.
"Goddamnit!", Dino curses whispering and he sits down on the chair to rub his painful leg. Tired, he seats himself comfortable and exhales relieved.
"Just a quick rest, nothing more", he mumbles to himself before he closes his eyes.

~<*>~

Scoups wakes up and strangely, he wakes up quite calm. He still remembers falling asleep restlessly with lots of nasty flashbacks. The fact that he had a fight with Dino didn't help at all. He shouldn't have been so mad at the younger, but he got too emotional. The subject still is pretty sensitive with him. He sits up straight and rubs his eyes tired. When Scoups looks around and notices Dino sitting on his chair, he gets startled badly. But then, he smiles thankful. Dino has been here to comfort him, Scoups guesses. The younger is still sleeping, but Scoups' cough wakes him up.
"Oh, I didn't mean to sleep here", Dino apologizes immediatly when he notices what is happening.
"It's okay. Thanks. And I'm sorry for what I said to you, I shouldn't have gone so feral on you." Dino nods his head, appreciating the apology. 
"I should have talked to you about it first. I should have known it still is this hard for you", Dino says in return and Scoups smiles thankful.
"It's okay, I still have a hard time talking about it, but I have to talk about it someday. I'm happy it was with you", Scoups says softly and Dino looks at the ground smiling. Scoups is happy their friendship is something like the old times again, the older really missed Dino.
"What do you actually think of that note?" Dino asks carefully. Scoups takes a deep breath, this will be a difficult talk.
"I don't know. I think I just don't want to believe it. Because if it's true, someone is still running around freely. Our horrible past is still running around freely. If that person really hurt you back then, they won't be scared to hurt you again now. And that's what is freaking me out right now. I can't protect my team anymore, I failed to do so years ago." Scoups takes a deep breath, he finds it hard to say it out loud. Dino's eyes immediatly soften.
"Don't say that, you have saved us all, you even risked your own life! A good leader wouldn't let himself get shot just to safe some dumb guy who isn't actually in his team anymore", Dino tries to comfort Scoups, but the black-haired male has made up his mind.
"Stop, Dino. I failed to protect you, there's still someone running around", Scoups repeats to get his point across.
"And what about the eight other ones? You caught them all! Try to think about the things you did right for us!" Dino pleads, but Scoups shakes his head.
"That wasn't me, I was in a coma most of the time, remember?" Scoups objects.
"Because you sacrificed yourself for us! Isn't that enough proof!? Without you, I wouldn't be standing here! Get that already, goddamnit!" Dino curses and Scoups sighs deeply. A long silence falls down between the two males as Dino keeps staring into Scoups' eyes, trying to get him to change his mind.
"Whatever you think of it, I made up my mind", Scoups says and Dino looks at him confused.
"About what?" he asks puzzled and Scoups swallows some spit before he answers.
"My time as a leader has come to an end. I have called Joshua, he keeps taking the lead." Dino gasps and Scoups has no courage left to look the younger in the eyes.
"But you're coming back to the team, right?" Dino's voice is trembling slightly.
"I am, but not as a leader." Scoups knows that those words may have been the most difficult ones he has ever had to speak out loud.