Gap Year

chapter 14

>Seidys POV<
It was my day off so I was doing some house chores and just spend my day with Haneul. And later in the evening the girls came over because we had a school reunion from college. I got Haneul ready first he wore a gray suit with a white t-shirt under with his Air Force and a little bag with his favorite toy in it and then got myself ready matching to his I also wore a gray suit with a white corset top under it i styled it silver accessories and wore white high heels I matched the whole outfit with my silver Diesel bag were I put my lipgloss and my house keys after that I put together Haneuls bag with his food spare clothes you never know some and some toys I packet it all and we went downstairs we all got into the car and I drove us to our old college.
Once we reached the a feeling of nostalgia came over us all the memories we made on this campus I took Haneul in my arms and Anie helped me with his bag we walked to the big cafeteria were a lot of people were already chatting we came in and greeted them and sat at our place. We were there about an hour when we heard a familiar voice calling our names we turned around and saw Jaehyun we stood up and he hugged each one if us.

Jaehyun: Oh my god its been a while. How have y'all been doing?
Anie: Good so far what about you?
Jaehyun: I'm alright and let me guess this is Haneul?

He pointed and Haneul who was quietly sitting on my chair I nod and he went ahead and greeted him. He sat down next to us and we talked the entire night he told us about the things he was up to lately and before we went home we made plans to meet again some time soon.
It was already late and Haneul was sleeping in my hands so we decided to call it a day went to my car and drove each one of them home the last one was Yunseo once she got out of the car she turned around and looked at me.

Me: Is there something?
Yunseo: I mean Jaehyun is a good catch that's all I want to say.

She smiled and turned around and walked into her apartment I knew what she was getting on but no. I drove to my apartment and to my surprise I saw Jungkooks car parked infront of it I just shrugged it off maybe he came for a chat I took my bag and Haneuls threw them over my shoulder and then took Haneul out of his car seat he was sleeping I mean no wonder its 11pm right now passed his bedtime I went upstairs and before I reached my apartment two people walked downstairs and met me halfway not just any two people but Jungkook and Yoongi. I was so shocked that I didn't know what to say but just walked past them and they followed once I had opened the door I walked in and them right after me I went to Haneuls room and got him out of the clothes he was in and into his pjs he woke up for a split second but fell a sleep right after. After I was done I put him into his bed took a deep breath and then walked out of the room and into the chaos that was awaiting me. I walked past them and got myself water I drank like three cups until I was ready to face them from the kitchen counter I looked up to them.

Me: What are you doing here? What do you want ?

I didn't have the time nor the energy for a small talk so I just jumped right into the question, they looked at each other and then Jungkoook said.

Jk: Hyung I will leave you to it I will wait for you downstairs. And Seidy don't be mean listen to him.

With that said he did as he said and left us alone in this awkward situation after staring at each other for a long time I turned around took another glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water and walked towards him and gave it to him he took it and chugged it down all at once it was as if he hadn't had water in years. And then the first he said to me fell and it was as if I was struck down by lightning I turned around and out of nowhere tears filled my eyes.

Yoongi: I'm sorry.

Silence

Yoongi: I'm really sorry.

Silence

Yoongi: I'm sorry Seidy.

And finally I broke down I was crying horribly „I'm sorry" that's all it needed to take me out. He came down his eyes meeting mine and I saw that he has been crying too but why was he? Shouldn't it be me he was the one who left he was the one who didn't come to meet m ehe was the its was his fault I was in this state, all this time I thought it was my fault that I did something wrong but no being in this situation right now made me realize no it wasn't.
I stood up and pulled myself together.

Me: Why why are you here right now why I've been fine all this time without you an snow you decide to come now. you had all this time but why now?
Yoongi: Because all this time I regretted my decision breaking up with you was the dumbest thing I've ever done in my entire life but I did it and there is no excuse for that and I understand that you are still mad at me as you should.
Me: You are right I am mad at you for that, you didn't even try to fix the problem you didn't even talk to me you made that decision on your own and I had to follow no matter what I was thinking the decision was already made. But do you really think that, that is the reason I mad at you? When you broke up with me yes I was mad at you for not fighting for us but also mad at me for not fightin. But I understood why you made that decison so I didn't hate you I was understanding. What I'm mad at is you not showing up when I told you about my pregnancy I thought you would I was holding onto a string of hope for you to show up even after I gave birth I was waiting for but you were a no show and I had to accept that but now really right when I was doing good for once you show up really.
Yoongi: I know Seidy showing up right now is stupid and maybe you won't believe but I didn't know.

He pulled out a paper out of his pocket and held it up it was my letter the letter I wrote him when I was pregnant with Haneul.

Me: Why are you showing me this right now.
Yoongi: Because I didn't know Seidy I was never able to read this letter the letter you wrote yes Jungkook gave it to me but I wasn't able to read it back then I just got to know that you were pregnant with my child I really didn't know and even though that shouldnt be an excuse I really didn't know if I knew I would have run to you the moment I read pregnant I wouldn't have let you deal with it on your own and yes we can't change the past but I want to change the future I want to be there Seidy. Walking out of your life leaving while still being madly in love with you and still am...

He stopped midway realizing what he had just said at the same time I realize what he had just confessed too.