Gap Year

Chapter 17

>Yoongis POV<
It's been now a week and today finally I will meet Haneul my son I got ready, took my car keys and the present I had bought for him, a Spider-Man figure because Seidy told me that Spider-Man was his favorite Super Hero  and then drove to Seidys place out of privacy and because I hadn't talked to my management yet I didn't want any paparazzi taking photos and making up their own stories, which I had told Seidy before hand. Upon reaching Seidys place I took a deep breath put on a mask and a cap and texted her that I've reached her place, took the present and got out of the car and walked down to the apartment building were she opened the door and I walked in took the elevator up to her apartment were she was already waiting at the door I took another deep breath and walked in.
I just stepped in and took my shoes of when Haneuls small head looked around the corner looking at me.

Seidy: Hey

She said nervously she wasn't the only one was nervous.

Seidy: Don't worry he's just nervous he couldn't stop talking about you yesterday

She turned around and looked at him and smiled he walked towards her and held her hand somehow hiding behind her, I smiled at him and he smiled back there was this feeling that I felt in my heart I couldn't describe it. I didn't know if it was joy, nervousness maybe or all of the above. I knelt down and put the present infront of me his eyes got bigger and he slowly walked towards me.

Me: Haneul-ah look I got you this from my mission I heard you like Spider-Man a lot.

Seidy had told me that she told him that his father was on a mission an that's why I wasn't there, I kind off felt bad because she had to make up a story for my absence but I was greatfull to Seidy for doing that.

Seidy: Haneul do you want to show appa what you made in Kindergarten?
Haneul: Yes
Seidy: Then go to your room with him I will prepare the food in the mean time

Haneul took my hand his hands were so small and soft and also Seidy calling me his appa just felt so good. He took me to his room were he unpacked the present and jumped up and down laughing and at that moment I thought I also thought Seidys laugh was the most beautiful laugh I had heard in my life but hearing him laugh just melted me away and filled me with warmth.
He then showed me a picture he draw in Kindergarten its was a picture with a woman and child and a man.

Haneul: That's eomma, thats me and thats you, here I made it for you
Me: Wow Haneul thats beautiful thank you very much

He smiled at me and and started playing with the Spider-Man and I sat down next to him he told me about his Kindergarten and his friends and what he did in Kindergarten. He also talked about Jungkook and asked when he would visit again.
I put my hand on his head ruffling through it. He was a ray of sunshine and a bundle of joy.
After playing and talking for nearly an hour Seidy called us to eat, we walked out of the room and I carried him to the bathroom we washed our hands and then walked to the eating table and sat down.
She had made fried rice, Kimbap and a salad, she put it for us in a plate and we started eating in silence.
This could have been my life if I had made a better decision in the past, I would have been with Seidy now for 9 year I would have been there when Haneul was born I would  have been there for his first steps, his first words his first everything. Maybe I would have been married to Seidy by now all these maybes and they are too late, I looked up at them and a smile formed it self and a warmth spread all over my body. I was so deep in my thoughts I nearly missed it.

Haneul: Appa?

I looked between Seidy who was also caught of guard and Haneul. He called me appa

Me: Oh Haneul-ah do you need something?
Haneul: Come I will show you the piano
Me: The piano...

I looked around until my eyes fell onto the keyboard in the corner next to the balcony.

Me: Haneul-ah do you play?

He nod and stood up from were he sat took my hand and I followed him to the keyboard we sat down and he played some key notes.

Seidy: He loves playing the piano. And he's really good, I was surprised myself I bough this keyboard for myself at first but with 2 to strum the keys and when I told him that you loved making music he wanted to learn it became a thing we did together I learned and song an taught him now he is getting lessons. It felt he wanted to be closer to you through the music.

I looked at Haneul who was playing twinkle twinkle little star. I put my arm around him and gave him a kiss on his head Seidy turned around and walked to the eating table and started clearing the table.

Me: Should I help you?
Seidy: No its ok spend some time with your son

I nod and turned back around focusing all my attention on Haneul. I played him a BTS song which he wanted to learn since Jungkook always promised him but he didn't have the time and so I did. In the middle of me teaching him Seidy came over with fruits and then left us alone and went to work in the office in her room. I played and talked to Haneul until it was 9pm and he was tired he was yawning the whole time.

Me: Haneul I think its time for bed don't you think?
Haneul: But if I go to sleep you will leave again and leave me and eomma alone

Tears filled up his eyes and it broke my heart that he felt like that he grew up without a father and I can't imagine how it messed with him.
I pulled him into a hug not knowing what to tell him. I broke of the hug and I looked him into his eyes I wiped the tears from his eyes and smiled.

Me: Haneul-ah listen appa is very sorry that I wasn't there for you and your mother really I wished I could turn back the time and changed but thats not possible but I promise you that I wont leave you ever again ok I will always be there for you and your mother and I will never leave you guys again.
Haneul: yagsog

He held up his little finger and we pinky promised each other right then Seidy walked out her room and walked towards us.

Seidy: What are you guys doing?
Haneul: Appa promised to come again but eomma why doesn't appa just sleep with you?

We looked at each other and I saw hint of shyness in Seidys eyes and I couldn't resist to smile at that, She picked up Haneul.

Seidy: You mister need to go to bed now and appa will come on the weekend because you have kindergarten come on.
Seidy: And you shouldn't you go home by now
Me: Yeah I should but would it be ok for you if I put him to bed

She nod lightly and handed him over I took him to his room and changed him into the pjs he chose and then brushed his teeth and then put him to bed, read him a bed night story he chose and not even 5 minutes in the story and he drifted off to sleep holding my hand. I stayed there another 5 minutes looking at him I gave him a kiss on his forehead and then went to the living room were Seidy was she was in the kitching putting the dishes into its place I walked towards her and started helping her she dried the the dishes and I put them in their places in silence, there was so much I wanted to talk to her about but I didn't know were to start or if I was in the position to do so. After we were done I took my bag from the kitchen counter and wore my jacket, cap and before I walked out of the house I gave her a hug we didn't say much but this hug meant everything.
It was a „I'm sorry", „Thank you" and „I love you" all in one and I hoped she understood.  We broke of the hug and I got out and walked to my car and then drove straight home.