As she was releasing her final album before her indefinite break, someone asked April about that song Back to December. Why would she want to go back to December? What happened in December? Or a better question would be, Who is December? Was he that...
"And then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept into my mind
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was "Goodbye"."-Taylor Swift, Back To December
A P R I L
As I reminisce those early times, when our broken hearts were still raw. It pained me that I became too much of a coward to let all the things happen and end that way.
How could I let other people ruin my mind. I didn't listen to what my heart was saying. Instead I let people that don't matter talk their talks. They said we shouldn't be together, they said he was never worthy of me. That it was crazy to think that we're going to last forever, that we're too young to be so sure of each other. The worst part was I just let them crowd my mind and left him fighting alone. I became too afraid of the consequences we might face. I've chosen what I thought was the safer side. I went back to my stupid world. A world where people will always want more - where December is not in.
----------- As the management planned, I came to the party with Aaron. From the front door of my apartment's building to the venue itself, papparazi and other people from the media never stopped taking pictures of us. Aaron was, in their words, a solution - as though the thing I had with December caused so much of a disaster in my reputation. They said Aaron would be a good cover up, for the public to forget about my past flame. They considered December as a mistake that they shouldn't even allowed to happen in the first place. They talk about him like a thing, like he wasn't a person who has all the rights to feel. They told me that it will only last for just a few months, just until Aaron released his new album, and just in time for me to write a new one. I can't believe they expected me to write songs about someone I barely knew.
It has only been six months, that day, when me and December part ways. I still tried my best to communicate with him, even though I know it wouldn't be good for the both of us. If I was tough enough to disobey this scheme, I will not go to this party, or to anywhere I have no clue whom I'll spend my time with.
But as I entered the ball room, I knew I made a good decision of obeying them, for once. I immediately saw him standing in the Dj's booth, fixing wires on the stage with his bandmates. So that was them, the people I only got the chance to see in the videos he showed me. One of them was trying to tell him something, then his forehead creases, that frown I am so familiar with. Then our eyes met, even from a distance, I was so sure it was me he's looking at. For a moment I felt he was trying to tell me something. But then someone distracted us, telling us to have a seat and find ourselves a comfortable place. Aaron held my hand so tight, as we pass through the room - aware that photographers were still around.
The party started and everyone was surely having a good time. But for me, my surroundings was just a blur, because my eyes kept on searching for December. I came to understand that he is not here for just a part time job he usually does, but to attend the party as well. I saw him talking to a girl that looked very familiar. It wasn't that long before I managed to remember where I might have seen her - It was in that birthday photo December sent me. That photo I obsessed over for so many nights, analysing every detail of.
What even confused me more was that I discovered she was the one having this huge party. She invited all these amazing and famous people that I only meet in awards' night, press conferences and celebrity galas. I kept on asking myself who that girl was. All I knew was that she's Celine, and that she seemed very close with December. December never really mentioned her name before, I was too occupied by that thought. I kept on digging for past memories of him talking about her but none occurred. I was so annoyed with the idea that maybe that was all the management's plan. Maybe that was a set up all along. Maybe they knew December is going to be in that party, and maybe they knew December was talking to this new girl, before the news gets to me. Maybe, they let me attend this party for me to see that December was happily moving on with his life.
I grew so frustrated as the supposedly great night passed me by. It wasn't even half of the entire party's program, people are still arriving, when I decided to stand up and breathe some fresh air...
I needed clarity from all of these... I thought.
And as cliche as everything that's been happening that night, I found my self going to the roof top, that cold place where only few people chose to stay.
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(A/N : Hiiii, how's the reading going so far? I decided to add some more chapters with December's point of view. I hope it made the story telling better. Love, Ivy)
