As she was releasing her final album before her indefinite break, someone asked April about that song Back to December. Why would she want to go back to December? What happened in December? Or a better question would be, Who is December? Was he that...
"Because the last time you saw me Is still burned in the back of your mind You gave me roses and I left them there to die -Taylor Swift, Back To December
A P R I L
"Let's stop this, I am really sorry December" those are the worst phrase that ever came out off my mouth. Words that I wished I never said. Words i regret saying until now.
I knew that was all he could remember of me now. I don't know what possessed me to do all that. I just watched him leave that night, even if it was the hardest thing. I let him go.
The people started to know about our relationship after some months of trying to keep it out of the public's eye. Photographs of me and December started to scatter around the internet. Not long, when people started to disagree with our relationship. I tried my best not listen to any of it, but I can't help it when they attacked December so much, it even came to a point where they stalked all his personal background. They accused him of using me to gain fame. I tried my best to defend him, because I knew the real him, I knew his real intentions for me.
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But then, it all got out of hand. Our relationship was a headline everyday in the gossip sites, papparazis came after December even when he was alone.
The management started to intervene in my personal life. They said December wasn't good for the reputation, my brand was aiming. They said if it all comes to worst, my relationship with December might be the reason of my fall. I never listened, I never thought of ending any of it.
Until one night, a group of lunatic tried to assault December and his bandmates. At the police station, the group confessed that it was all just for fun and that they knew December was all over the internet, being accused of using a famous singer to be famous himself. They just happen to see him performing in the bar with papparazzis around taking pictures of him.
It's all just for fun.
That was when I knew I have to wake up from the dream. I have to see what was really happening. It was not him who is not good for me. I was the one who is not good for him.
It was time for me to let the one I needed the most go.
----- Since that night of breaking up with December, I've managed to put on a mask. I've toughen myself up, answered questions the media bombarded me. I told them it was all just a trial on young love. And for once, I followed the management, and everything they said I should do -- to keep my good image.
" So, everything we bought are here...also, the dress the designer asked you to wear for the gala will come soon" Stacy, my personal assistant said while putting all the boxes in my couch "Aaron told me he will fetch you later for Celine's party. Remember, you have to arrive together and..."
I cut her off "They have to see us happy and having fun, because a lot of photographers will be there" I continued.
She just rolled here eyes smirking, "Fabulous!" she said, praising my effort of memorising the agenda we had earlier in the meeting with my management.
"Anyways, who is Celine again? If I may ask?" I inquired.
"Ah, it's this random girl whom I heard was a daughter of our big boss' partner in one of his other company." she answered, "But what's important is all of the other well known celebrities will be in that party, there will be papparazis around,so it means a potential for publicity, you know, we should make an effort to erase the chaos that was done by that little fling of yours"
I frowned, not liking what I just heard. It wasn't just a fling that I had with December.
"Alright, whatever." I said dismissing her. The diva in me started to go out, after hearing another comment she had to say about mine and December's relationship. None of them knew a tad bit of truth about what we had.
Stacy finally left me alone. I heard the door shut and the feeling of loneliness started to creep in. I looked at all the shopping bags in my couch, I looked around my newly purchased penthouse, none of it gave me as much happiness as I felt when I was with December.
------ "These days I haven't been sleeping Staying up playing back myself leaving When your birthday passed and I didn't call"
-Taylor Swift, Back To December
For the twentieth time that day, I was guided in his voicemail. December still used to answer my calls, but some days he refused to answer it. He told me it will help the both of us to move on with our own lives and that it won't be healthy for us if we still talk. But in that specific day I wanted to hear his voice so bad, to see his face in a video call, to see if he was okay, to see if he had fun on his birthday and with whom he celebrated it with. I didn't manage to call him up on his actual birthday for I was in the recording studio the whole day and I didn't have my phone with me.
I wanted to know if he was fine. Even without me.
But I only got a text message saying "I am good. Thank you for the Birthday greeting. I hope you are fine as well. xx December" With a picture of him inside their rented studio with his band mates. They seemed to be having pizza and beer. And as I zoomed in, they have other company. There were two girls goofing around, close to where December was.
My heart sinked. I felt a cold rush in my spine as reality stabbed me over and over. The answer to my questions was there in that single photograph.
Yes he was doing fine Yes, he was happy, even without me.
Finally, it was time for me to move forward with the life I chose to have.
(A/N: I am trying to finish this in one sitting so bare with me for the typing errors I may have. Love, Ivy)
