𝒢𝐻𝒪𝒮𝒯 & 𝒮𝒪𝒜𝒫 {𝒪𝓃𝑒𝒮𝒽𝑜𝓉𝓈}

I dont wanna say goodbye cuz this one means forever

(⚰️)
(Ghosts pov)

January 1st 2023:
Last year was hell, Las Alma's didn't go as planned and now you've taken my position...I should've been the one in the hospital bed, lying in a coma... god sake Johnny why didn't you fucking listen to me... there was too many cartels for you to take on and you chanced it... you should've ran back, you should've waited for me to come, you should've- forget it... the damage is done...fuck it's my fault... I should've got to you sooner. I am so sorry Johnny. Forgive me...

Forgive me for my sins... I may be no catholic nor a religious person...but I need god on my side this time. No man would believe someone like me would be on my hands and knees begging for your life. Seeing myself in This state is almost scary...but seeing you unconscious, unable...is more frightening than the missions I've been on.

It's like watching my world crumble under my feet, the ground moving vigorously... your cold cheeks bringing pain and suffering upon me...please Johnny...be alright.

-Simon Riley
X

February 1st 2023:
February 1st aye? And still no response from your body, your muscles torment my mind daily... waiting for the smallest contraction or relaxation. The doctors said you'll be alright, please don't prove them wrong...your hair is slowly growing out of its Mohawk...it almost suits you, scary... anyways, the doctors promised you'll be fine, I know it's only been a month but i am slowly going insane without your company, I feel lost, alone, scared of what the world throws at me... this shouldn't be how I am. But you worry me the most...i am scared to lose you, I don't want to lose you, you're too young, you have a life to live... I snivel at night, the memories of Las Alma's haunt me like I was the devil that caused heavens gates to fall...

I miss you Johnny, I've never been so vulnerable, so feeble, so melancholy, so alone...

- Simon Riley
X

March 1st 2023:
March...March...March, what has come to this month so quickly...nothing from your weak mind and inactive body... it hurts me to say this but I've gone completely insane with each passing day, Valentine's Day last month was a reck, everyone was giving to their loved ones whiles I stayed by your side, holding the hand that won't hold mine... every time I left your side I cried, I felt a part of me exit my body like a man leaving his 'everything' behind... it hurts to hold on, people have told me to let go...but I can't...i can't let you go, not now, not ever...

Price recommended me a psychologist, all I did was blurt out in anger at him... I fear I've pushed him away, I fear I'll push everyone away... i am scared, you'd not believe me if I told you I'd leave everyone behind if it meant you'd give me a sign you was here... the silence is deafening... it must hurt your mind not to hear a song or a voice... you must be driving to insanity with me... at least we are going together right?

Just give me a sign, Johnny... anything...

-Simon Riley
X

April 1st 2023:
Still no sign... no sign of that smile, none of the flashy blue eyes... I've had multiple soldiers come up to me and ask me how I am... all I can do is grunt and walk away, your my only option for peace... it's weird because your peaceful body lays in my sight everyday, just knowing your existence is present, keeps me going... I know that might not make sense but maybe one day it will... I hope you'd understand the hurt it's causing me...

Please wake up for me Johnny...

-Simon Riley
X

May 1st 2023:
1 month away from being half way through the year, I hate this...the loneliness is killing me and I don't know how much more I can take ... the doctors say your still okay but something isn't right... your cheeks keep growing colder by the words I speak, forcing myself to shut up.