My Love Mine All Mine

10 ⚠️

⚠️ EATING DISORDER ⚠️

I woke up on the couch with JJ on my extra cushions on the floor. My arm was dangling off of the bed and holding her hand that was lying limp on the cushion. She was already awake, her thumb caressing my hand. I smiled and squeezed her hand weakly. "You need anything?" She asked.

"What time is it?"

"7."

"7?" I smiled widely. This was the most sleep I had gotten in years. She smiled back.

"Want me to make some breakfast?"

"I barely have food here." Her smile dropped a bit but she nodded. "Plus, I'm still full from the salad I had last night."

"Iris."

"Hm?"

"Please eat." Her voice was soft and she looked at me with such caring eyes I didn't have the choice to say no.

"Ok...ok, yeah, I'll eat."

"You know what's so great about honey, yogurt and oats?" She asked me, standing up and pulling me up with her since I didn't want to let go of her hand.

"What?"

"They go together so well. Now sit down, look pretty and I'll make you the best yogurt bowl you've had in your life." I smiled at her and hoped my eyes disguised my anxiety. I sat back down on the couch and waited patiently.

"Here you go." She said, handing the bowl to me. I offered her a smile and took the spoon, taking a small bite. She moved my favorite pillow to sit next to me but I didn't mind. She turned on my tv to Friends but I kept my focus on the food.

I had only taken five bites in ten minutes which didn't go unnoticed by her. "Do you not like it?" She asked.

"No, I do." I assured her.

"Then what's wrong?" I let out an awkward laugh to her question.

"It's just...it's too much." I said quietly. She nodded and took the bowl away. I felt bad, she had made the whole thing for me and I hadn't even eaten half of it.

"I'll keep it in the fridge for dinner, ok?" I nodded, feeling a weight get lifted off of my chest when I saw that she wasn't hurt.

"I don't know if I'm going to be able to do lunch."

"That's ok." She assured me. I searched her face for any sort of disapproval or disappointment but I found none. "You ok?" She gently wiped a tear off of my face.

"Yeah, sorry, I don't know why that's there." I reached for her hand for comfort, it practically being second nature at this point. I shrank down into the couch, curling myself into a ball. She caressed my hand and I closed my eyes.

"Do you need a second?"

"No, I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

"Song lyrics."

"Please share."

"Bought a bunch of makeup
Tryna cover up my face
I started to skip lunch
Stopped eating cake on birthdays
Bought a new prescription
To try and stay calm
Cause there's always something missing
There's always something in the mirror that I think looks wrong
When pretty isn't pretty enough
What do you do?
And everybody's keeping it up
So you think it's you
I could change up my body
And change up my face
I coi try every lipstick in every shade
But I'd always feel the same
Cause pretty isn't pretty enough anyway"

"Iris."

"Hm?" I turned my head to look at her, my eyes feeling dull.

"Please tell me that didnt just come out of your mouth." I raised my brows, not knowing what she meant.

"Was it bad? I can change the lyrics or-"

"No, it was amazing." She told me sincerely.

"Then what's the problem? I can always make adjustments to it if you don't like it."

"You really don't get what I'm saying?" Her thumb stopped caressing my hand. Was she mad?

"No, I'm sorry-"

"You're the prettiest person I've ever seen."