My Love Mine All Mine

25

I heard a door open so I looked to the side. I shifted uncomfortably, the look on his face wasn't good. "What is it?" JJ asked, pressing her cheek to my own, keeping me as close as possible to her.

"Ms. Heart, you have APS."

"What is that?" JJ asked, I let out a little sigh of relief, I was too tired to talk.

"It stands for Antiphospholipid Syndrome. It causes blood clots to form and makes antibodies that are attacking her healthy blood cells."

"Ok, so what does that mean?"

"Well, she can develop clots in her veins and arteries which can cause heart attacks and or strokes." The doctor said simply. "If not treated, this disorder can become catastrophic and cause multiple organ failure."

"So she could die?" JJ deadpanned.

"Yes. She could die." The doctor sighed.

"So what's the plan? What's the treatment? H-how do we keep her from dying?" JJ squeezed me tighter and I winced. "Sorry." She whispered, letting me go a little bit.

"There's no cure-"

"There's no cure?" JJ said with a laugh.

"But she has a 50% chance of survival."

"50?" JJ raised her voice. "She has an equal chance of dying or surviving? You're basically just picking sticks out of a hat!"

"Jayje...calm down...please." I asked, moving up so I could rest my head against hers.

"We can prescribe blood thinner medication to reduce the risk of clots." The doctor said.

"Ok, yeah, do that." JJ said quickly.

"I need consent from the patient." She turned to me.

"Yeah, that's fine."

"What I don't understand is the last time we spoke to doctor they said she just had anemia. That's treatable, but now she has a disorder where she has a 50% chance of dying? How can someone fuck it up that badly?" JJ raised her voice and I winced.

"When you first had an appointment, her only symptoms were fainting. Now she's nauseous, complaining of pain in her upper body, as well as fainting, as you can see right now, she is very tired. Right now, this is completely different from when she was diagnosed with anemia. If she had displayed this symptoms when first treated it would've been easier to know what to test for." JJ stayed quiet and then doctor stepped out.

"Honey-"

"I'm so tired Jayje." I looked up at her with sad eyes and she frowned. "Can I sleep?" She nodded and tucked my hair behind my ear.

"Yeah, yeah, you can sleep." She tried to get off the bed but I shook my head.

"Stay. I don't sleep well without you."

"Ok. I can stay."

"JJ?" I asked softly.

"Yeah honey."

"I love you." She relaxed a bit and I turned on my stomach so I was laying on top of her.

"I love you too sweetheart...should you be moving this much?"

"I'm not attached to tubes." She laughed softly. "Can you promise me something?"

"Anything."

"Don't be scared."

"I can't promise that."

"Well then can you promise me that you'll still go to work? You can't put your life on hold for me Jayje, I'm not dying."

"You are-"

"If something bad happens then I die, I'm not on the road to death...I'm not a doctor but do you understand what I'm saying."

"Ok, fine. I'll still go to work. But if I'm away I get to call you whenever I want and you have to pick up. And if you even feel a bit faint you call an ambulance."

"That's a bit extreme-"

"I'm not going to lose you Iris."

"Ok...ok I'll call an ambulance even if I'm feeling just a bit faint."

"Good. And if you have to call an ambulance you tell me because I am flying back here to see you."

"Just because I faint doesn't mean I'm dying."

"I want to see you though." I sighed.

"Ok fine." She smiled and held me tight. "But don't act like a mom, alright? You can help me but I can take care of myself believe it or not." She laughed and kissed the top of my head.

"I won't act like your mom."

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you more."