My Love Mine All Mine

57

I was awake now, our baby was in her own little bed in the hospital room, clear plastic walls blocked her in. "Hey little one." I smiled warmly when I saw my daughter for the first time. I tried to roll over but JJ stopped me.

"Your uterus just got cut into, stay still, ok?"

"But I wanna hold her." I pleaded. JJ helped me sit up and then picked our daughter up in her arms, hanging her to me. Her beautiful blue eyes stared up at the ceiling, seeming to be studying it. "She has your eyes." I moved over so JJ could sit down next to me.

"Your nose." She pointed out.

"What do we name her?" I whispered once she closed her eyes, not wanting to wake up a sleeping baby.

"We should name her after a flower." JJ suggested softly, putting her arm around me, gazing at the both of us lovingly.

"Like me?"

"Yes, like you."

"Then her middle name should start with a J, so she can have a badass nickname like you."

"Ok...so no Lily, that sounds weird...Rose? R.J.?"

"That's so cute." I said with a pouty face, looking down at our now sleeping daughter. "Just like her. Little Rose...I like that. I love it actuslly." I kissed the top of Rose's head. "Rose Jocelyn? Rose Jordan?"

"I like that one."

"Jordan?"

"Yeah." JJ kissed my temple. I rested my head on her shoulder.

"Rose...Jordan...Jareau?" I asked.

"You don't want her to have your name?"

"Jareau-Heart." I suggested.

"Rose Jordan Jareau-Heart...is she going to have to suck on my boobs?" I whispered.

"We can use a pump."

"Oh thank God." I let out a sigh of relief.

"Can I have her?" JJ asked with a soft laugh.

"Give me one more minute, ok? I love her."

"I have some competition, huh?" I picked my head up off of JJ's shoulder.

"Yeah, you do." I whispered, reluctantly handing Rose to JJ. JJ smiled as Rose started to wake up, thankfully she didn't start to cry. "I love you." I didn't hear JJ say it back. "JJ?"

"Oh, you were talking to me?" We both laughed softly.

"I love you so much." I told her, hugging her arm as she held Rose. "I'm so glad that we did this...and I'm not dead...Rose isn't dead either." JJ hummed. I didn't mean to bring down her mood, I really didn't. "I'm so tired." I whispered to her. "And sore." JJ carefully set Rose back down in her bed before adjusting my pillow.

"Let's get you some rest, ok?"

"But I already rested, I want to spend time with Rose."

"You got three hours of sleep, you can sleep some more. Come on." She got me to turn over so she could spoon me from behind.

"But Rose-"

"My love, rest, please. You deserve it." I deserve it, the simple words warmed my heart tremendously. I laced our fingers together, feeling a sense of peace wash over me. This was everything I needed. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok. I'm perfect actually." We both laughed.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean I have everything I ever could've wanted. Two years ago, I had no idea what would've made me happy, but I met you. I met you and everything became perfect, you've given me love and you've given me happiness. I'm so grateful for that, if I hadn't met you I probably wouldn't be here, I had no reason to be here, to be alive. But now I have every reason."

"You're gonna make me cry."

"Everything's going to be ok, I know that now, I feel it."

"Atta girl."

"I love you...I really love you."

"I love you more."