The Aster Awards 2023 [CLOSED]

: ̗̀➛ HUMOR

1. Forever for you by dwarkaratna

Title: 8/10
Cover: 6/10
Blurb: 6/10
Plot: 10/15
Creativity: 15/15
Grammar: 5/15
Characters: 3/5
Interaction with Reader: 2/5
Overall: 7/15
Total: 62/100

Review: I feel guilty for giving you a lower score in Plot, but I did that because this book does not really read like Humor to me but Romance and Thriller. However, I gave you some leeway because even though the plot fits under the Thriller genre better, I still had a lot of fun with it and your creativity! The story was one of the perks. While it revolved around a cliché, you put a unique twist on it. I enjoyed reading about the culture, and I also enjoyed the little pep-talk messages you had at the beginning of each chapter. They almost read like an overview of what would happen in it without giving too much away.

I noticed a lack of setting, though; you can describe it better. I also saw a bit of head-hopping. I make this mistake, too, and am still learning about it, so don't feel terrible. It's okay to switch to a few other characters' heads; just be careful about doing it repeatedly in one paragraph. For example, you can write from Trisha's POV for one chapter or half a chapter and then switch to Parth's next chapter or paragraph. Make sure you indicate this through a page break or an ellipses. I also recommend for you to visit an editing shop. While I loved the plot, the grammar issues were a big no-no, and I can't be biased, even with your unique story. Once you clean it up a little and fix the head-hopping, I know it can go places. You need to take the time and improve it.

2.Stuck on Him by Airathetics

Title: 10/10
Cover: 6/10
Blurb: 8/10
Plot: 10/15
Creativity: 9/15
Grammar: 7/15
Characters: 4/5
Interaction with Reader: 2/5
Overall: 10/15
Total: 66/100

Review: First things first—this is a common issue with books written in 1st person point of view—it's not recommended to start the story with the main character saying, "My name is Jane, and I'm fifteen years old. I live with my mother, father, brother," etc. Aside from being cliché, it's also a form of telling and not showing. Don't tell people about the main character—let them figure them out themselves. Your job as a writer is to immerse readers in your story and characters so that they come out of it feeling something, whether big or small and "show vs. tell" is a considerable aspect behind this.

Another big thing I noticed is the switch between 1st and 3rd person-point-of-view. Stories are usually told in one POV, although I have seen in the prologue of some 1st person-point-of point-of-view books that authors write in 3rd person, and that works. I wonder if you can try something like that.

I was perplexed by how Sarah had a car if she had just started high school. Most high schoolers don't have a car in 9th grade. The car crash scene definitely works, but it may work better if you age Sarah to sixteen, and instead of having her start high school, she starts at a new one. That would help her character development, I believe, if you give her a few more flaws. While I thoroughly enjoyed your characters in this book, they can all use a few more flaws and a slightly more realistic dialogue between them. Most of the time, they did not sound like teenagers to me.

3. The Marks of the Engkanto by HeideHunt

Title: 9/10
Cover: 8/10
Blurb: 8/10
Plot: 15/15
Creativity: 13/15
Grammar: 13/15
Characters: 5/5
Interaction with Reader: 5/5
Overall: 12/15
Total: 88/100

Review: Do you know how Romance has a sub-genre called Rom-Com? Well, after reading your story, I'm convinced there should be a sub-genre of Fantasy—Fantasy-Humor. You excel in the Fantasy genre, thanks to your clever take on world-building and attention to detail and lore—all necessary ingredients for this genre. From the very first line, you pull us into your world.
I saw very little info-dumping, which means you succeeded in the age-old rule of "showing vs. telling" in writing... most of the time. There were a few instances of minor info-dumping and telling us Akali's emotions rather than showing, but they're all easy, take-out-a-few-words fixes.