Sempiternal: • A.L.I.V.(d)E(ad)? • || BOOK 7#

40. Alive

7. Love again in this Slow dance

"You look beautiful."

Taehyung smiles square, letting himself be hugged and shaken by Namjoon. The contact ends with a kiss on the temple and Taehyung shrugs. The video clip director announces that it's time to record.

He bites his lips in place, dressed in gold and with faded hair. He takes a deep breath, counts down and the music he made starts playing so he can lipsync.

It's going to be good...

Just fine.

~ * * * ~

"From the others, I felt a bit useless. Jungkook is... worse than a soccer player, Namjoon too; Jin was taking over everything, Hoseok too and Yoongi became super intimidating" relates Taehyung to the interviewer of the program he attends. "It took me a long time to realize that I'm different from them. I am...me. In my own way. In my own style. That's why my album is nothing like theirs."

"Personally, I'm more of a jazz fan, so you were a blessing to my ears" Taehyung smiles charmingly, cocking his head to the side, "but it's certainly very different from the projects done so far."

"I'm glad you see it that way."

"Did you think about it in your time in Korea?"

"No, not at all "He shakes his head. "Back there... I was very weak" he laughs somewhat ruefully, "I couldn't think about anything but being safe or calm. Composing didn't come to me at the time. It came here... when I knew my nightmares couldn't come true."

"Oh, so this album-"

"It's everything I've thought about since I came here... I didn't have anything I did in the past. It's new. All of this...it's the me that's here now and knows it's not useless and is loved." he concludes with enormous peace inside him.

When it's time to sing, he notices that among the audience of the program is Jin. The man shakes the Army Bomb with his prosthesis and in his right hand, a small sign:

"KIM TAEHYUNG MY HUSBAND."

He tries to hold in his laughter. He must have known he was going to do something silly like this. He closes his eyes and leans against the microphone, listening to the music starting to play. Feeling the weight on his back. Small, just like him before the whole mess.

We are not useless...we are different.... And we are loved for it.

Am I thе only one like this?
Are you okay if I'm with somеone else?
Let's take it way back, slowly
Make it feel better, yeah, make it Forever

Taehyung keeps thinking about how much his album was talked about. Calling it strange among the rest that's been released. The quietest, the least danceable, the one that doesn't seem to fit and Taehyung knows that precisely because of that, his album fits where it is among the others.

Because he has always been the little foot so different from Bangtan.

Don't say it's okay
Said I'm alright, said I'll be fine
I'm sorry, they're all lies
Please don't leave
Please don't go, so far away

Choonhe told him that was his biggest problem: trying to be the same as everyone else when he loved himself as different as he was. With his tastes and eccentricities.

I wish you would love me again
No, I don't want nobody else
I wish you could love me again, again

In the end it became simple: he had to love himself again. Taehyung had to understand himself again. He had to be Kim Tae-Hyung again.