The Only Exception

Ten

~Lainey~

I had never, ever been that nervous on stage. Dance competitions as a kid, drama performances, my first show. Nothing. I was perfectly fine until I saw Spencer and then I just felt my stomach drop. I was struggling to keep the mic in my hand for the rest of the set and the very second it was over I just needed some air. 

That was it. He'd call Noah or my dad and they'd go ballistic because they'd know the amount of time I've been putting into this and I should have been focusing on school or something that would help me later in life. Volunteering or picking up an extra course online. Going into the office to get acquainted with everyone now. All things I told them I didn't have time for because I was too busy with school. 

I still had months. I had 2 months left. I had plans and bookings and god I had so much more time to soak this in and enjoy it whilst I could and all it took was Spencer trying to ruin my fun again. Why couldn't this guy just let me live? I've been perfectly fine for years. I've kept my grades up, I've not let anything cross between each other. Everything has been completely fucking separate until he came along and started stirring things up. 

I told him to leave it. To just ignore the fact it had been my birthday but he didn't. He called Noah who text me with some long ass apology message. Dad's hadn't been far behind. They'd done exactly what I'd expected them to. Generic flowers and gold jewellery in expensive bags. Shows exactly how much they know me because the only gold jewellery I own is their apology shit and I never wear it. I hate gold but of course, the only 2 important people in my life don't know that. 

"You disappeared fast." I turn my head as Jason pushes the back door closed, looking at me as I sat on a plastic crate at the back of some seedy looking building. I straighten my back, pulling a hair off my pants. 

"It was really fucking warm in there." He pulled a matching crate up, sinking down onto it and holding his cigarette pack out for me to take one. "Good set though." 

"Mhm." I pulled the lighter from between his fingers sparking myself up and taking a long drag before passing it back to him. I just want everything back exactly as it was before. I want the empty apartment, no one caring about me enough to watch where I was going or who I was with. "So who's the guy?" 

"What guy?" 

"Tall, dark hair, was staring at you all night like he's about to be your next victim." I scoffed, blowing out smoke slowly. "I knew something was off with you tonight." 

"Nothing was off with me Jason. I'm fucking fine. I'm wearing fucking pants and a god damn blazer in a room packed full of people with lights on me and I'm running around a stage for almost 2 hours. I'm hot. That's all. Stop making out like it's more than it actually is." 

Why is there always so many questions, so many people wanting to know what's going on in my life as if it's anyone's business but my own. So many questions, so much talking and noise and I just want some peace. I want to hear myself think and take a few minutes to breathe without someone's opinion being rammed down my throat. 

I get it. 

Sat here with Jason, he doesn't say anything until the cigarettes are finished and we're both still sat staring out at the empty car park in front of us. It's somewhat quiet. There's noise inside as the music night turns into a club with some DJ taking over where I was 15 minutes ago. The music is loud and you can hear chatter as people pass by the door I escaped out of a few feet away. 

"I know we don't really talk about your personal life Lanes. I know you like everything separated and you don't want to entwine everything and provided everything was fine I could deal with it. But the past few weeks, you haven't been yourself. You've got your guard up so much higher. You're being followed around by some guy who barges into parties and drags you out but you never mention him again and then he shows up tonight and rather than you coming straight back stage to have a few drinks, you disappear. Everyone else might think this is just you going through a stage but -" Jace sighs. "You know you can talk to me about anything right? We've been best friends for years, nothing is gonna change that. Whatever you're going through, you're not handling it alone."  

My heart twists in my chest because I know that's not even a question with Jace. I know if I sat here and dumped everything on him he'd sit and listen and he'd understand and he'd ask me if I wanted help or just an ear because I've seen him do it with every single other person in our group. Break ups, failed exams, losing jobs. He's been everyone's rock through it all. And yet I can't bring myself to drop the mask for even a second. So I swallow the lump in my throat and stand up, dust myself up and look at him. Jace tips his head up, pitiful smile on his lips and I have to push the hurt it makes me feel to one side. 

"Nothing's going on. Besides, Chels would know if it was. Right?" I raise an eyebrow and cross my arms. "You and I both know Chelsea can't keep her mouth shut when you ask her something." 

"She said you're fine." 

"Exactly. Chels knows every single thing going on in my life," I lie, "And she can't lie to you. That girl is more obsessed with you than the idea of being a 25 year old multi-millionaire. Speaking of. Are you going to ask her out or just keep her on the edge because you're being a little Douch baggy now." 

"What makes you think I haven't asked her out already?" 

"Because she'd be hyperventilating in the bathroom and Sara and Andi would be in a tail spin not knowing how to handle it." Jason smiled, confirming I had successfully knocked his suspicions into outer space. Where they belonged. "If you don't ask her out this week I'm hooking her up with someone from school." 

"No." He speaks too quickly and I can feel the evil smirk on my face. "I mean-" 

"You mean you don't want me to hook her up with someone else?" He rolls his eyes and I laugh turning and pulling the door open. "Better get on it then drummer boy. My girls been waiting long enough. Fuck it up though and I'll trash your kit." 

"You wouldn't." 

"Are you underestimating me Jason Carter? You know better than anyone that's a very big mistake." Mask firmly pulled back into place, time to go.