The Only Exception

Thirteen

~Spencer~

"Come here." I tug on Lainey as she tries - and fails- to get comfortable in the little home theatre. We left the rage room and I tossed all the other plans to the curb. She needed comfort tonight. To be wrapped up and cared for like she should have had this whole time. The second we'd gotten into the apartment I gave her a very simple, easy to follow set of instructions so she didn't have to think. Shower. Pajamas. Movie night. That was it. Nothing else needed to be decided by her. I had her favourite movie queued up, pop corn and snacks, cake, pizza. Everything we could possibly need without having to move more than 3 feet. 

I pulled Lainey closer to me, tucking the blanket over her legs  before putting the pizza between us, grabbing her a slice and physically putting it in her hands. 

"You gotta eat Sunshine." 

"I can't eat this." 

"Why not?" She looks at me like it's a stupid question to ask. "You can't seriously tell me you're watching what you eat Lainey. You're literally skin and bones. I don't know how you get through the day without collapsing you eat that little." 

"I eat-" 

"The perfect number of calories for your daily activities. Yeah. I know. You give me the same answer every day. You eat the amount of calories your supposed to be eating but you're a hell of a lot more active than a normal person Lanes. How shit do you feel every single Sunday morning?" 

"I'm hung over. That doesn't-" 

"Except you don't come home wasted. Ever. Can't be hungover if you're not even drunk Sunshine.  You're doing all this parading around stage but your body doesn't have any energy to fuel itself. You're going to end up getting sick and putting yourself in hospital if you're not careful. I'm all for being healthy Lane but there's a line between looking after yourself and harming yourself and you've tipped over the edge." I knew for a fact this was the longest anyone had been home with Lainey in years. It's very likely no one had picked up on her disordered eating habits. I had thought, and I could only let it sit for so long before I needed to edge her into a healthier way of looking at food. "There isn't such thing as good or bad foods you know?" I settled back in the sofa slightly, grabbing the food and hitting play on the movie for background noise. 

"I can name a few." She scoffs.

"Go ahead. Let me convince you otherwise." 

"Fine. Pizza, french fries and chocolate." I shuffled slightly. 

"Okay. Valid points. But let me put it this way. The place I got this pizza from uses a home made tomato sauce. No added sugar or crap. Fresh everyday. Then you've got the grilled chicken and the veggies on it. The dough is packed full of protein. So yeah. It's not calorie free but the calories in it are calories your body needs to function with nutrients you need to survive. French fries, okay yeah. Potatoes deep fried aren't exactly the epitome of health. But cut up some potatoes, par boil them and pop them in an airfryer? Home made fries without the oil and you literally half the calories. 200g of white potato and sweet potato. Both partially boiled and put in the oven. Which is better?" 

"The sweet potato." I shake my head. "What?" 

"Nope. The white potato would be about 160 calories depending on whatever seasoning you use and the sweet potato would be almost 200." She watched me closely. "So the chocolate. I'm not gonna try and make that work I'm gonna give you a question instead. Does food need to make you feel good?" 

"What?" 

"The food you're eating at the moment. The unseasoned salads, water and gross green smoothies. Do any of them give you endorphins?" I could see it click in her brain and I pushed the pizza slice in her hands closer to her mouth, watching as she took a bite. "Food doesn't need to always be filling a need for you. It doesn't have to be giving you protein or carbs or whatever else. You can just eat something because it makes you feel good and you like it. It's just about balancing it all out. Avocado toast on brown bread or a white slice of toast with Nutella on. Which would make you happier?"