His Delicate Queen

♡ Epilogue ♡

Shehnaaz POV

"Its okay.. she deserves this. She did this to herself." Sidharth wrapped his arm around my shoulder as I wipped my tears. We just came back from the funeral. I still couldn't believe she's dead. I never knew her, I never liked her but she should've been dead in a more better way. As a woman I felt bad for her. Noor was dead. Its been 5 days since we returned from our vacation. And today morning we got the news of noor's demise. I was shocked. Sidharth? Not so much. He had been keeping tabs on her for a while now. He also Got several chances to kill her and take his revenge for leaving his daughter and for bullet she shot him with that day but he didn't. He told me that he couldn't bring himself to kill the mother of his child though she terribly failed at being one. And he was not wrong. I am not justifying her but I truly felt she must've had reasons. She attempted suicide. She burned herself alive yesterday night. But what was actually making me cry, was sidharth's face. His eyes are red and heavy. Jaw clenched in attempt to stop his tears. But whom is he hiding his vulnerability from? I can stare into his soul. The watchman of the place she was staying gave us this letter today as we reached there.

To,
Shehenshah

Dear Shehenshah,

I always loved you, you knew that. You asked me to step away many times, never gave me hope, always drew that line of 'Its all just physical ' between us. But the more you pushed me, the more I was getting pulled towards you. You know what drew me towards you? Your darkness. The same alluring darkness your wife was scared of. I used to hate her. Thinking she took my place. She was beautiful but too soft and naive. I Never thought you were in those kind of girls. I thought you need someone like me. Equally dark and broken. But then you got married and everything stopped. You coming to my chambers stopped, you making love to me stopped, me making food for you stopped, you eating my food happily stopped, you letting me stare at you stopped. But my heart? It never stopped loving you. Your wife, she gained something I was dying for. She got YOU but 'you' doesn't only mean your body. She got your soul, she got your heart, she got your smiles, she got your laughter, she got you love, she got to be your wife, she would also get to be the mother of your children, she got to call you her husband, she got to stay in your bed even after sex, she got your surname. She got everything I ever dreamed of. But then I saw you happy and even though my soul shattered and my heart bursted I couldn't help but thank her. She made you alive sidharth, something none did and could never do. I tried and let go you sidharth. It was not easy but I did. And then I got light in my life. I thought It would light my world but instead my darkness consumed it. Rashid was that light. He loved me. He loved me sidharth, he did something anyone didn't. He treasured me. Healed me. Caressed my scars. And then I fell for him. So so so hard that I was numb to pain, the fall was so great that was unconscious. And then I got to know about my pregnancy. I got to know I am carrying your child. Rashid hated you for how I lost myself in your love. But sidharth that child that was inside me, I couldn't kill it. It was my baby. I know, for what I did, you would never believe that I loved our baby. And it's me because of whom our baby is not with you. But I loved Rashid sidharth.  He couldn't love me when I was carrying someone else's child. He thought I still loved you because I couldn't abort the child. But I didn't. I had already submitted my soul to him. I was his. His to love and his to destroy. And he did both the things with all his heart. I left after giving birth to our baby because I knew you would love her. I knew you would love her enough. And I knew if shehnaaz ever came back in your life, she would love our baby too. Because our baby was so precious sidharth. Nobody could not love her. In order to prove Rashid that I didn't love you anymore I shot you that day. I got in with ahmeds and I did everything he asked me to prove that I loved him then and not you. I am sorry for that sidharth. I am happy you came back out of that stronger and happier. But Rashid was still not satisfied so he did what he did with shehnaaz.  I am sorry. I am sorry for what happened to Shehnaaz.  But I couldn't stop him. He wanted to hurt you and he did and he died for what he did. I know you want to kill me too. And I know you can and you will. But I promised him that I would take nothing from you. Not even death. So here I go. We were always good friends sidharth. You are such a beautiful man everyone but me and shehnaaz failed to know. I have no reason to live. I think death will take me to my baby. I promise you sidharth I will take care of our baby. Which I couldn't when both of us were alive. I am sorry. I am sorry to you too Shehnaaz, I know you must be reading this too, being there for him as always. I am sorry for snatching your man's child from him, for giving him a scar, for not stopping the injustice happened with you even when I was in the power to do so. I hope both of you will be happy and at peace. Its time I go back to my baby and apologize.