The Past Ahead - an Empires SMP AU

Chapter 3 - Real introductions and roommates

           This is bad. This is really, really bad. This is so bad I can't think of a good word to describe it! 

           Sausage took a deep breath. He could handle this. He'd handled multiversal crises before, and his evil self, and his evil dad, so surely he could handle a couple of time-misplaced emperors, right?

           He glanced at Wizard Gem, who was staring at the book she had brought. Poor Gem, she thinks it's all her fault, Sausage reflected. She was always so stressed out about being prepared and she thinks she should have anticipated this. But she never could have guessed the spell would do this, or what the dangers of using it could be.

           At any rate, now he had to figure out a counter-spell, if one even existed. But for now, he had to do something about the twelve stranded emperors. "Well, to change the topic from universe-threatening to something a bit more practical, let's have introductions. That's Ocean Queen Lizzie, she's a blue axolotl ocean goddess, and that's Mayor Lizzie, mayor of Animalia." Sausage started.

           "Wait, I was a goddess in a past life?" Lizzie's tail twitched. "How come I'm not now? Do I have powers?!" "Probably not," Sausage admitted, and Lizzie groaned. "And wait a second, I wrote about the Ocean Queen!" Lizzie gasped, remembering. "How-" "It happens sometimes that reincarnations remember their past lives," Sausage said. "Anyway, that's Codboy Jimmy, Lizzie's little brother, and Sheriff Jimmy, the sheriff of Tumble Town, and he's also a toy." "Wait, Lizzie's my older sister?" Jimmy squeaked, too surprised to notice that he had been called a toy again. "You're not in this life? And also, I become a toy?" Codboy Jimmy asked, confused. 

            Sausage sighed. He forgot that people who weren't used to multiversal and time travel needed a lot of explaining. "Well, when you reincarnate, you don't always get the same family members, okay? Moving on, that's King Joel of Mezalia and that's Joel the god of lore and ruler of Stratos." Joel bent down to see his past self wishing he was a god. "So you're a mortal?" "Yup, a mortal married to a ten foot tall ocean goddess, and also, how come you get to be tall?" Joel grumbled, but everyone else was paying attention to Sausage continue with the introductions. Well, almost everyone. "Hey, I remember you, you're the one who came and built a giant Arabian thing in Tumble Town!" "And I remember you now too, I was wondering why the Codfather was dressed up like a cowboy."

           "That's Lady Katherine of House Blossom and that's Princess Katherine of Glimmer Grove. She's a monster slayer at nighttime." The Katherines blinked at each other. "You're a monster slayer?" "Yes, why?" "Nothing, it's just that I'm a pacifist." "Oh. Okay." Sausage continued. "That's emperor Joey of the Lost Empire, and that's Pirate Joe, he's got a crush on Katherine." Emperor Joey snorted. "Katherine? You have a crush on Katherine?" "Yes, what's wrong with that?" Pirate Joe retorted. "Don't insult my princess!" "Okay, break it up, break it up," Princess Gem said, getting between them. 

           Then she looked up and said, "And I'm Princess Gem. I like daylight and the sun." "And that's Wizard Gem, she's the best wizard I know!" Sausage continued. "She's got magic crystals and dragons and she's fWhip's twin sister." fWhip and Gem looked at each other. "Another pair of siblings?" said fWhip the goblin. Sausage shrugged. "Eh, there's another pair of siblings in that life, but let's not talk about him. Speaking of fWhip, that's Count fWhip of the Grimlands and that's Count fWhip of Gobland, both like explosions and annoying Jimmy." the fWhips looked at each other. "Well, if you annoy Jimmy you can't be that bad, right?" 

           "That's Pix the Copper King of Pixandria and- wait, Pix! You're back! Where've you been?" Sausage completely forgot about his introductions as he realized that the Copper King was there after not being around the other empires for who knew how long already. "I was just getting back to my hobby of wandering around and trading. Don't mind me, carry on with the introductions." "Okay, and that's Pix, he's a historian and archaeologist who also happens to be a ghost. And over there's Shrub Berry, she's a 116-year-old gnome and wolf spirit, and that's Great Witch Shelby, she's a witch that I recently helped cure of corruption." 

           "Wait, 116? Gnome? Wolf spirit? And wait, Shrub-" "Corruption?" Sausage continued on, ignoring them in his excitement of all these new, or rather old, friends. "Scott of Rivendell, he's an elf prince, and that's Scott of Chromia, he's this really colorful guy who likes llamas." "Llamas? Really?" "Hey, llamas are cool! I also have a fake eye that lets me see magic." "And I have magic ice powers." "Yeah, right." "Want proof?" "Yow, that's cold!" "Scott! No playing with your ice magic!" 

           "And that's Oli, he's a bard who defeated the ender dragon all by himself before any of us even got here, that's False, she's a weird tinkerer, and that's Pearl, the farmer queen of Gilded Helianthia." Sausage went on, ignoring the ice magic shenanigans the Scotts were getting into. "Wait, like Pearl from Hermitcraft? Who does she reincarnate as?" False asked. Sausage paused a bit before answering. 

           "Oh, Pearl doesn't reincarnate as anyone, she becomes the goddess of death and sunflowers when she dies instead, and eventually she becomes Santa Perla. Get it now?" "Wait, goddess of death and sunflowers? Santa what? And what's Hermitcraft?" "Another dimension." "Oh, and I'm Lord Sausage of House Sausage of Mythland," Sausage volunteered when he noticed he was the last one to get introduced. "I'm a mage who does all kinds of magic." "And I'm Sausage of Sanctuary, I also do all sorts of magic and I can remember my past lives as well as time travel and multiverse travel." Sausage concluded. 

           "There, introductions done! Now, while I figure out a counter-spell to send these emperors back home, they need to stay somewhere." "Hermitopia?" False suggested, but Pix disagreed, saying that it was supposed to be preserved as a piece of history. "How about here?" Lady Katherine asked, gesturing at the building they were in. "Uh, this is spawn, and it might be too tiny for twelve emperors," said the goblin fWhip. "This is spawn? It's fancy!" the Codboy said, surprised. "Ours is just a campfire." "Oh, ours was too, until we decorated it. 

           Eventually it was agreed on that the stranded emperors would live with the present-day emperors in their empires. The seablings went to live with Joe because of his proximity to water, both Katherines went to Glimmer Grove, Shelby asked Shrub to come with her to the Evermoore, Pix moved in with the Scotts in Chromia, fWhip decided to check out Gobland's technology and his twin sister followed him to make sure he didn't blow up anything else, Joel left with Sheriff Jimmy to live in Tumble Town as he had already accidentally built a holiday home there, and Pearl, Sausage, and Joey were taken to Sanctuary. Sausage of Sanctuary didn't know why, but he felt that he needed to keep an eye on Joey and his past self, and as for Pearl, well, he just wanted to spend time with her again.