The Past Ahead - an Empires SMP AU

Chapter 15 - Troubled waters

           Jimmy tried to relax, letting his body float calmly on the surface of the water. He closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep. Of course, his older sister wouldn't let him live in peace for long. A cascade of water and fish flopped all over him, annoying the Codboy even more when he realized one of them was a pufferfish. "Got you, Jimmy!" Lizzie shouted gleefully, as Jimmy told the pufferfish to stop poisoning him, although by that point what he needed was a milk bucket.

           "Lizzie, go bother Joel, will you?" Jimmy asked irritably. "The job of annoying sisters belongs to the little brother!" Lizzie giggled and swam off. Jimmy sighed. He knew he shouldn't talk to his sister so waspishly, but he hadn't been sleeping much lately and his cranky attitude showed it. On second thought, he was glad Lizzie hadn't let him fall asleep, he probably would have just had another nightmare.

            Jimmy closed his eyes, trying to push the frightening images away. That day the Rapture happened... He was heading back to his empire and noticed on the way, almost at once, the lack of water. All the streams, ponds, lakes, and brooks... All dried up, leaving nothing but dry earth and the soulless bodies of dead fish. He'd hurried on, keeping his eyes off the ground, and trying not to imagine what this meant his empire looked like. If only Gem's spell had taken him away before he had that one regretted peek...

           Jimmy opened his eyes again and took off his Codboy head, staring at its blank eyes. Why do I even still wear this? I don't deserve it. This was all my fault. If I wasn't so attached to the Codfather head... None of this would have happened. And then he realized he still has the poison effect and therefore still needed milk. Cursing his damaged egg and addled brain, he got up and ransacked Joe's barrels, looking for a bottle of milk, but all he found were bottles of rum. Typical for a pirate.

           Jimmy strapped on his elytra and flew to a plains biome with a bucket in hand. He was trying to find a cow to milk, but instead he ran into Count fWhip of the Grimlands and False, who were tinkering with some kind of machine. Jimmy didn't bother trying to figure it out; he knew it was way beyond his knowledge. "Hi, fWhip, and uh, False, right?" He asked. They looked up, fWhip beaming, False looking worried but waving back. "Yes, I'm False. You're the sheriff's past self, right?" Jimmy nodded, and False turned back to whatever she and fWhip were busy tinkering with.

           "What's that?" Jimmy finally asked, his curiosity revealing itself. "Uh, don't have a name for it yet, but the idea is that it senses diamonds and mines them for us," fWhip said excitedly. Jimmy whistled in amazement. "Is the goblin fWhip working on this too? Why isn't he here?" He asked, but the mechanics didn't answer his question and began mumbling about all sorts of things. "We brought it out here to test but it broke while we moved it so as you see we're fixing it." False said, just as the machine made a defeated whine and expelled black fumes from all over. False quickly splashed it with a bucket of water, even though it wasn't on fire, but that, plus the feeling of slowly getting sicker, reminded Jimmy that he still needed milk.

           "Do either of you have milk?" He asked. The tinkerers shook their heads, copper goggles flashing in the noonday sun. "I usually do," False said with an odd expression on her face, "But I recently drank a potion that's supposed to keep me safe from danger and it doesn't seem to have a time limit and I didn't want to get rid of the effect by drinking milk because I don't know how to get more of that potion, so, sorry." "Wait, what did you say?" "Uh, just stuff. That happens. More than they should." 

           "Oh, False, you don't have to worry about milk, if a potion doesn't have a time limit it's permanent and you can only get rid of the effects with the antidote." fWhip said confidently. "You're sure?" False asked. "Yeah, pretty sure. Not many people know this about me, but I'm an alchemist too and I do lots of stuff with potions." The mechanics began talking about potions and their weird hobbies and Jimmy soon said his goodbyes, flying off again. He quickly found himself in Chromia and landed in the midst of a conversation between the goblin fWhip, the Scotts, the Copper King, and the Ocean Queen. They immediately stopped talking as soon as Jimmy arrived.

           "Jimmy?!" Lizzie shouted in a weird voice, trying to sound like she was just saying 'hello' but the Codboy knew he had surprised her. "What are you doing here in Chromia, where some emperors are definitely not having an important meeting?" Behind her, Pix and Scott both facepalmed. "Looking for milk," Jimmy told her, "To cure me of the poison from the pufferfish you threw on me." Lizzie made an awkward noise and glanced at the emperors behind her, who were shaking their heads and muttering something under their breath.

           "I'm lactose intolerant, so I never bring milk with me." fWhip said. "Sorry, don't have milk here," Scott said, pushing Jimmy away from the group. "Try Sanctuary, they're always willing to help out with anything." "Uh, sure," Jimmy said, feeling confused. He took off again and headed for Sanctuary, deciding to give the other emperors the benefit of the doubt for now. They were definitely hiding something, but he could figure it out later, when he wasn't threatened by death by pufferfish. As he flew, he spotted his future self flying nearby, and they both landed to greet each other. 

           "Afternoon, sheriff." "It's still high noon, technically, but I guess it counts. By the way, do you know what the other emperors are up to? They're hiding something, but I can't figure out what." "No, I don't know either, they're hiding something from me too." "I hate that they're not telling me anything, I'm the literal sheriff, I'm supposed to know!" "Well, good day to you, sheriff, I'm off to Sanctuary to look for milk, and if I find out what the secret is then I'll tell you." The Codboy flew away and soon arrived in the bamboo jungle; landing to the sound of panicked voices.

           "It's gone!" "What?" "What?!" "How?!" "What's gone?" Jimmy asked, turning a corner to see who were talking. He found Wizard Gem, the Sausages, and Great Witch Shelby standing under a tree. They all looked very worried. "My grimoire," Gem explained. "I was jotting down all our research on the counter-spell on it, but now I can't find it." "This is the third time we lost research!" Sausage of Sanctuary said frustratedly. "First the past me leaves Shelby's papers in the Evermoore, then our research from Joel's library gets misplaced, and now Gem's grimoire is missing! At this rate none of the emperors are going home."

           "I don't think this is a coincidence," Shelby said slowly. "I mean, this has happened way too many times to be a coincidence, don't you think?" Everyone agreed. "What are you saying, then?" Lord Sausage asked. "Someone's sabotaging us?" "Exactly." "Why would they do that?" Jimmy wondered. "Does someone not want us to go home?" "Maybe," Sausage of Sanctuary said. "We're getting really attached to you past emperors, and we really don't want our friends to leave, if what happened with the hermits is gonna happen every time." "What happened with what hermits?" "Oh, they were these really cute short guys from another world and when they tried to go back home we fought each other over trying to make them stay." "That sounds kind of possessive." "Eh, maybe, we let them leave in the end, although since we tagged along with them to Hermitcraft, I don't think we actually did." "Wait, what-?" 

           Just then Jimmy felt himself get really sick, and remembered about his search for milk. "Do you have milk?!" He gasped. "What? Oh, yes, I do!" Shelby said, noting Jimmy's symptoms and passing him a bottle of milk. He gratefully drank and made a satisfied noise when he felt healthy again. "Thanks, Shrub, I mean, Shelby." "No problem! Since I deal with potions, I always bring milk with me in case one of them goes wrong. A lot of them have, you know." The witch explained. "By the way," Jimmy asked, "Do you know what everyone's doing behind my back? Everyone acts weird every time I join a conversation and they're hiding something, my future self agrees too." As soon as those words were out of his mouth, the Codboy knew they were in on it too. They weren't going to tell him either. 

           So he flew back to Eversea, curious about what everyone could be up to, and knowing that now that he wasn't so busy with trying to find milk, he could do some detective work and figure it out himself.