Untouched [minsung]

Chapter 1

It was loud. The music poured into the club from expertly placed speakers, and standing in the center felt like I was at the convergence of the loudest sounds in existence. My brain vibrated and I couldn't think.

That was why I was dragged here tonight though...to stop thinking. The people around me moved rhythmically and created a sea that flooded the dance floor. I was drowning in the bodies, and I looked up to catch my breath while standing completely still.

My eyes blurred over, and I felt a smile on my face as I relaxed into the chaos. I usually hated clubs. I hated social interaction and overstimulation, but the alcohol and freedom from my usual anxiety were making this more enjoyable than normal.

"Han!" someone shouted. I ignored them as I watched the lights reflect off of the disco ball and dance around the room instead.

My feet were stuck to the floor due to the many drinks that had been spilled there throughout the night, so I just swayed back and forth while keeping myself grounded. I closed my eyes and bathed in the song that had just begun. I was unfamiliar with it, but the melody was relaxing to me.

"Han!" I heard again, closer this time. I opened my eyes and looked ahead. My vision was blurry but managed to focus on a hand that I recognized, so I took hold and pulled my friend into the middle of the sea of people with me.

"Changbin!" I cheered hugging him.

"I got you another drink," he laughed, handing me a cup with a dark liquid in it.

I smiled and clanked my drink against his before downing it in one go. Changbin watched me wide-eyed. He usually had to beg me to go out and drink with him, and, even then, I would stand awkwardly in the corner. Tonight, I was doing something he'd never seen me do before: enjoying it.

"Thank you," I slurred as I tossed the cup to the ground. Changbin laughed and began jumping to the new song. I jumped with him in unison a bit before running out of breath.

"See anyone here you like?" he asked. I shook my head. I hadn't even seen an individual person since I got here. My brain had decided that everyone here was a collective unit and Changbin and I were the only two people that really existed.

He let out a disappointed sigh. I know he had meant for me to find someone to hook up with to gain a bit of experience and destress a bit, but being here was enough for me.

"What about you?" I asked. Being much more extroverted, he always found people to talk to in public places. He also famously never left the club alone.

"Of course. There's a girl at the bar I was talking to before coming to find you. Oh, and a guy in the corner being pretty mysterious. Either of them." He said nonchalantly as if people were interchangeable to him. I tried to peak at the bar, but couldn't see over the crowd.

"Do you want to go dance with them?" I asked. "I'd hate to cock block you."

"Tonight we are here for you. Come on," Changbin said as he took my hand and pulled me away from the center of the room.

"Where are we going?"

"Second floor. You can look over the railing and find who you like. Then, I'll be the best wingman that ever wing-manned."

I laughed and stumbled after him. The stairs to the second floor were crowded with couples trying to explore each other's tonsils. One had their hand completely down the other's pants. Changbin didn't seem phased, so I guessed this was normal behavior here. I couldn't help thinking of all the germs from their hands getting on their dicks though.

Germs from the door handle, the bathroom, the railing, the sticky bar top, the other people...

"Han, come on!" Changbin shouted over the music. I had accidentally stopped and stared at a couple basically engaging in foreplay against the railing. I probably seemed like a creep.

I continued up the stairs while keeping my eyes down, so as not to get distracted by anyone else.

Changbin pulled me over towards the railing, and we looked down. From up above, the people seemed even more like an ocean. Their waves of movement filling every inch of the dance floor. I'm surprised Changbin and I even fit down there.

"Choose," Changbin encouraged.

I tried to make out an individual but everyone seemed so together and blurry that it was hard for my mind to even find one face let alone one that I was attracted to.

"Where are your two?" I asked Changbin to stall for time.

He pointed to a corner to the left of us and described a tall blonde sipping on a drink. I put my hands on either side of my face and my elbows on the railing to steady myself. I managed to focus my vision on the guy and he was absurdly handsome. He seemed to be alone but not uncomfortable in it...a feat I'd never managed.

He then pointed towards the middle of the dance floor and began describing the girl, and I nodded as if I knew who he was talking about, but I couldn't even attempt to decipher what group she was in as those in the crowd were indecipherable from one another.

"She's cute!" I lied. I had no idea who he was talking about.

"Okay, now you."

I looked around the bottom floor but felt overwhelmed by the task. I didn't like hookups, and I hated crowds. When I was downstairs, I couldn't tell how large it was.

I turned around to see if there was anyone on the second floor. This floor was basically just the bathrooms and a few couches for people to wait for their friends.

The moment that I turned a tall figure emerged from the men's room. His eyes met mine, and I felt frozen in place.

My palms immediately felt sweaty and, though I wanted to look away, I couldn't. My heart skipped.

Changbin must have noticed my reaction because he also turned and saw who I was staring at.

"Nice," he nudged, turning to me. "Let's go over."

His words took me out of my trance, and I flipped back around to stare at the first floor. "We can't just go over," I whispered. "He's probably here with people or busy."

"Han, you need this," Changbin encouraged.

My mind couldn't even think of a single way to start a conversation. 'Hi' sounded too shy. 'Want to grab a drink' was too forward. What if he rejected me? What if he didn't find me attractive? What if he did find me attractive? What if he hadn't washed his hands?

"I need to pee," I said and turned to walk to the bathroom. The guy I had seen was already gone, and I breathed a sigh of relief.

Once in the restroom, I stared at myself in the mirror trying to calm down. The enjoyment of the evening was wearing off quickly and had been replaced with my normal anxiety. I was ready to go.

My hands were sticky from drink spillage downstairs, and I washed them a few times until I was satisfied. I fixed my disarrayed hair and took one last deep breath before turning to leave.

When I pushed the door open, I walked straight into someone's chest.

"I'm so sorry," I apologized as I looked up and saw the handsome guy from before staring back at me.

He looked down at me and smirked. "In a rush?"