Untouched [minsung]

Chapter 71

Chan POV

Lee Know went back to his room. I hadn't seen his scars since the bunker, and it reminded me just how much was at stake. Not just for Han and Lee Know but also for Seungmin and me. Who knew how much time we had before everything blew up again?

I went back upstairs to my room where Seungmin was still sleeping. Instead of being on the edge of the bed, he was still lying in the middle (if not on my side) where I had left him. I quickly brushed my teeth since Lee Know had not-so-politely made me aware that I had bad coffee and morning breath. Afterward, I snuck back in and under the comforter.

Seungmin didn't move, and I didn't touch him. I didn't know how I should navigate this. The feelings I had for him...a man...were so foreign to me that every touch and every conversation had me worried that I'd embarrass myself.

I wondered if my hypothesis I'd had about fucking out the tension would work. Maybe if I did it with him just one time, I'd realize that I didn't feel like that towards him...that there'd just been some chemistry that was really just platonic.

I thought back to him grinding against me last night, though, and I wasn't sure that was true. I'd crumbled below him. I was usually the one in control, but Seungmin had taken over and made my body react to him in ways I'd never felt before.

I was a little worried that he'd only done that to me out of gratitude for my having forgiven him. After all, before I'd told him that, he wouldn't even sleep anywhere near me.

Now, he was right in front of me, but I was the one pushed to the edge of the mattress to avoid him. I wanted more than anything to reach out and wrap my arm around his waist. I wanted to nuzzle into the curve of his neck. I wanted to feel his bum against my dick again.

But I couldn't.

If I did and he woke up realizing that last night was a mistake, I'd be heartbroken. If he woke up and did it all over again...

I'd have to admit my feelings to him.

I wasn't sure I was ready for that either.

Seungmin stirred and flipped over to face me. I quickly closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep. I couldn't face him yet.

I could hear him inch towards me in the bed and eventually could feel his breath against my lips.

"Chan," he whispered.

The first thing I noticed was that, unlike me, he did not smell bad this morning. He smelled clean and soapy.

I kept my eyes closed and maintained the facade. I was sure I was doing a horrible job at it though as my heartbeat pounded in my ears, and my breathing was extremely unsteady. I didn't feel like a person resting...I felt like I was about to have a heart attack.

"Good morning, Chan," he whispered, and he cuddled into my chest. I instinctively wrapped an arm around him which meant he definitely knew I was awake now.