Untouched [minsung]

Chapter 16

"What the hell?" I heard someone mumble. Lee Know was wrapped around me (as that was how we always slept), and I fluttered my eyes open to find the source of the sentence.

Seungmin was standing beside the bed looking down. I tilted my head and saw the nightstand drawer ajar. Immediate panic flooded through me, and I moved quickly to try to close it. Seungmin rushed to pick up the photos before I had the chance.

"Lee Know?" Seungmin shouted angrily as he rounded the bed to his side.

"Seungmin, don't," I pleaded.

"Lee Know, look," Seungmin urged as I reached out in an attempt to intercept the photos. My arm was a bit short though, and they were handed to a barely awake Lee Know.

He rubbed his eyes and sat up with a yawn. I watched as he flipped through the photos. His eyes widened, and his face went from confused to angry.

"Lee Know let me explain," I began.

"Where did you find these?" Lee Know asked Seungmin.

"Lee Know please let me..."

"In Han's nightstand. I was looking for a charger," Seungmin responded.

"Lee Know I..."

"What the fuck," Lee Know shouted. "What are these?" He yelled, throwing them onto the bed.

"I just...I..." I couldn't put together a sentence as I began to cry and hyperventilate.

"Who are you? Who hired you?" Lee Know accused, and I became extremely confused. Why would someone have hired someone to watch him?

"What? Nobody..." I began, but Lee Know cut me off.

"Then why do you have these?" he shouted. But now, he not only looked angry but hurt. I'd hurt him. It broke me inside to recognize that.

"He's lying," Seungmin argued.

"No, I...I just wanted to know you," I cried. My brain couldn't formulate a way to say what I'd done. It wasn't a rational decision to begin with and getting someone to understand that wouldn't be easy.

"You stalked him instead of just talking? Yeah right," Seungmin snorted.

"Lee Know I swear..." I pleaded. My heart felt heavy and Lee Know wouldn't even look at me. He was facing the wall with his back to me as he continued to go through the photos.

"Get out," Lee Know ordered. His voice was stoic and demanding.

The shatter of my heart was loud enough for everyone else to hear. I reached out and touched his back, but he flinched and moved further away from me.

"Didn't you hear me? Get out," he said turning towards me. His eyes had welled with tears, and he looked at me as though I were a stranger.

"Lee Know, I swear I..."

"He said get out so get out," Seungmin repeated, each syllable was sharp and harsh.

"Lee Know please..." I begged as I looked at him to show some sort of recognition, but his face was twisted in pain.

"I don't know why you took these, or for whom, but I can't have you here anymore."

He hadn't believed me.

Whatever massive part of the puzzle he and Seungmin had been keeping from me was now beating me up. My insides twisted and it felt like my heart had been ripped out, stomped on, and torn to shreds.

"Did you not hear me? Get the fuck out," Lee Know yelled. This time he stood and flung open a drawer of my things. He tossed them at me and around the room. "Get out," he yelled and his voice cracked.

He stormed off and Seungmin chased after him. He slammed the door as he left, leaving me completely and utterly alone.

I sank into the bed and cried. If I'd known the pictures would have caused this, I'd have never taken them in the first place. I picked up the closest one with Lee Know's smile as he walked towards the cafe. It was a stark contrast to the disgust and hurt he'd displayed a few moments ago.

My heart hurt and I wanted to sit and wallow, but I didn't feel that was an option I had. The last thing I wanted was for Lee Know to come back in and yell at me even more.

I looked around the room that I had come to know as my own and tried to work up the energy to pack my things. I was pretty sure he wasn't going to be changing his mind any time soon.

With tear-stained cheeks, I opened the closet and pulled out my suitcase. I packed the things on the ground first, lazily tossing them in before I pulled out my other belongings.

When I'd moved in, I'd mainly just brought clothes and a few necessities since Lee Know already had most everything I'd need. A lot of my stuff was in a storage unit.

I collected my toothbrush and toiletries from the bathroom and threw them in a backpack that I had as well.

I was disassociating from the moment as much as I could. There's no way I'd be able to keep going if I thought about his face looking at me like that.

However, I didn't want to leave him with that being the last conversation. I needed to try to explain myself so he wouldn't hate me. I turned one of the pictures over and pulled out a pen from my backpack.

Lee Know,
I can't leave without at least trying to explain myself. When I first met you, I was so intimidated that I didn't know how to just talk to you. I thought if I could find out more about you, I could use that to make you like me. I know that seems crazy, and I recognize that. But I never meant to hurt you. I just wanted to know you.
Please don't be mad at me forever, honey.
I need you.

your pretty boy,
Han

My tears stained the letter, and I hoped he would at least read it before ripping it apart. I set it on his nightstand where he would find it and threw on my backpack.

I grabbed my suitcase as well and walked towards the door.

I turned and looked back one last time and sniffled as I tried to hold myself together for the walk out of the house. My chest felt like my heart was being swallowed by a black hole.

I opened the bedroom door and made my way to the front door. I turned and saw Lee Know crying as Seungmin comforted him.

"Lee Know..." I began.

"Leave me alone," he cried.

With tears in my eyes, I turned and opened the front door. I stepped outside and, behind me, I heard it slam and lock.

He hated me.