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San

I sat bored on the old sofa in Mingi's basement, four of my friends were already there and the rest would probably arrive one by one. Mingi was relaxed in one of the two armchairs opposite the sofa, inhaling the smoke with relish after taking a long drag from the joint in his hand.

"Don't be so selfish and pass it on," grumbled Jungkook, who was sitting in the armchair next to him and had just reached out his hand in Mingi's direction.

He gave it another firm tug before handing the glowing piece to Kookie.

He pulled on it too, trying to keep the smoke in his lungs for as long as possible and looked at Wooyoung, who was sitting next to me, with a look of encouragement. He crawled onto Jungkook's lap and placed his lips on his mouth, whereupon the older boy blew the smoke into his mouth.

"Dude... I'm going to puke. Stop making out with my little brother, Kooks." Hobi grumbled next to me, earning a hoarse giggle from Mingi, while Jungkook and Wooyoung skillfully ignored him.

The old wooden stairs creaked, announcing another arrival. Taehyung stole the joint from Jungkook's hand, who was now making out with Wooyoung, took two drags and stubbed out what little was left before sitting down on the seat where Wooyoung had been sitting a few minutes ago, grinning.

He tried to put his arm around my shoulder, which made me frown at him.

"Oh come on Sanni... You know I always want to cuddle when I've had a smoke." he whispered in my ear.

"Tae, we've been separated for a year. Find yourself a new boyfriend, I'm not responsible for your cuddles here." I complained to my ex-boyfriend, who looked at me with a sad puppy dog look and I let out an annoyed sigh.

"All right, come on over here you cuddle bear." I finally gave in, which brought a beaming smile to his face. Even though we were separated, we were still best friends and he always managed to wrap me around his finger.

But instead of leaning his head on my shoulder like I thought he would, he pulled me onto his lap and completely enveloped me in his arms. Only then did he put his head on my shoulder.

I had to smile at his audacity. Taehyung was quite the charmer when he put his mind to it.

"Yo bitches... what's going on here again? You couldn't wait again and got stoned without me?" came Jongho's voice from the stairs and Mingi giggled.

"I would never do something like that." He tried to lie to Jongho's face, but Hobi pointed directly at him.

"It's his fault."

Jongho looked at us all in turn.

"Who are you kidding Mingi? You're giggling all the time, Kooks and Woo are eating each other up, Tae would like to tack himself to San and Hobi is pissed at you because he didn't get anything again and now has to watch his brother doig live porn completely sober. The evidence is clear," he then stated and again I was amazed at his detective skills.

The kid was damn clever, I'll give him that. He sat down next to Hobi and took something out of his jacket pocket, a second joint, which he lit and offered to the older boy. He took it with a grateful smile and visibly relaxed with every puff.

"Why are you so late anyway?" I asked our youngest.

"I met your brother, check your cell phone, you're not answering him and he's worried. He's been talking to me for ages. Get in touch with him before he shows up here." he said, deeply relaxed, and I tried to fumble my cell phone out of my pocket in alarm, but thanks to Taehyung's hug, I couldn't reach it.

He simply reached boldly into my back pocket and handed it to me with a grin. I actually felt like I had 100 messages from Jin, who was a little too worried about me. Annoyed that I hadn't been looking at my cell phone, I quickly replied that I was fine.

You might think that my big brother was being overprotective and exaggerating a bit, after all I was 19 and an adult by law, but we had lost our mother and then our middle brother in a very short space of time. We only had each other left.

That's why I felt so sorry for my carelessness. Our mother died of a brain hemorrhage in her sleep 3 years ago and from then on Jin took care of me and Yeosang alone. But then there was that disastrous party where Yeosang fell from the second floor of the dilapidated, abandoned villa where we were partying, through the banister and onto the hard marble floor, right at his boyfriend's feet.

He was killed instantly and I was grateful that I'd had so much to drink that night that I had no memory of it. Jimin didn't feel the same way and that was the only thing that stuck in my mind, his desperate cry....

In a week's time, it would be the first anniversary of his death and once again I was overcome with grief. Yeosang wasn't just my brother, he was my second half, we were fraternal twins, but closer than identical twins. Tae sensed that I wasn't feeling well and pulled me closer to him.

Jongho, who had taken the joint from Hobi again, now held it out to me. I hesitantly took it, but my tentative attempt to take a drag ended in a coughing fit, as I had avoided all alcohol and drugs since Yeosang's death. I blamed myself for being so out of it that Jimin had taken care of me instead of Yeosang, who had much less.

Jimin didn't take it well, he kept repeating that a dark man had pushed Yeosang, but only his footprints had been found on the dusty ground and no one had gone up except him. After a suicide attempt by Jimin, he was sent to a psychiatric facility.

I had tried to visit him several times, but he didn't want to see anyone and I wasn't allowed to see him. Yeosang and Jimin had been together almost since kindergarten and Jimin was also very close to me, it was as if I had lost them both that day...

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