Severed - Sequel to Corrupted, an MCYT fanfiction

15: Badtimes

Tw: a LOT of censored swearing (what else? >:D)

The f***ing hermits are back.

'F*** OFF! I yell from my room at the sound of smElex and C**pfan arriving. 'I'M NOT FIGHTING THE F***ING SCULK FOR YOUR F***ING BENEFIT! YOU F***ING P***IES CAN FIGHT IT BY YOUR F***ING SELVES!'

'CONGRATULATIONS YOU BROKE YOUR RECORD FOR THE NUMBER OF SWEARS IN ONE UTTERANCE.' EX yells back. 'NOW OPEN THE F***ING DOOR AND STOP BEING A LITTLE S***!'

Deciding they're not going to leave me alone, I storm to the window, leaning out to look at the two little nerdy f***ers below.

'1000 diamonds and I'll consider. Any less and I shove lava up your a** until you f*** off.'

'You do realise you have a unique ability of solely using adult language and still sounding like a 3 year old.' Cub calls up. I reward his wonderful observation with my middle finger.

'How's your buddy Goodtimes doing? Why isn't HE here?'

'Because the sculk took him.'

'Well s***, that sounds like a problem.'

'Which EXACTLY why we...'

'A YOU problem!' I slam the window shut behind me. EX yells back several of my favourite swear words. The next thing I know there's a crash downstairs.

My front door.

How f***ING dare they.

I run down, ready for my favourite activity of simultaneous murder and insults to find my door on the ground with Cub and El next to it.

'Your door broke.' El points to it. Cub nods in agreement.

'Yeah... We don't quite know what happened but one moment you were refusing to act like an adult and the next moment it broke. I don't want to say they're related, but for the sake of your sofas, grow up.'

'You know who also needs to grow up? Your MOM!'

'BADTIMES THIS IS SERIOUS!'

'AND SO AM I! I'M NOT GOING BACK TO YOUR S***SHOW OF A SERVER, DO EVERYTHING, AND THEN GET BLAMED FOR F***ING EXISTING!'

'It's called a MISTAKE, Badtimes. Now people are dying and being taken everywhere and you know how to fight sculk. So come back and help, and get revenge, and save Scar. Please. We f***ed up, Badtimes. But we need you. And I know you want revenge, and friends, and respect, and we will give you it if you stand up right now, join us in Hermitcraft and- Badtimes are you even LISTENING to me?!'

'Mmm what?' I look up from where I'd spent the last 10 eons of his stupid monologue reclining on my sofa feeding blood-flavoured cake to my snake Worm. 'Sorry, I was too busy ignoring you.'

He lets out a furious growl, starting to pace. Cub just glares at me.

'Why do I even bother!?'

'You tell me. I gave up bothering ages ago. It's just easier that way... Also Helsknight is outside. HEY HELS!'

Cub and EX turn as the leader of Helsmitcraft enters through the remains of my poor mutilated front door, arms crossed.

'What the f*** is THAT doing here?' He points at Cub. I shrug.

'IDK, being a f***wit nerd?'

'That... Doesn't even make...'

'Hush now nerd. All I hear when you speak is this:' I make several impressive fart noises, ending on a particularly long fart. Hels waits for me to finish before speaking.

'...Thank you, Badtimes. Why are you here?'

'There's an emergency on Hermitcraft. We need Badtimes' help.'

'Why would ANYONE want Badtimes' help?!'

'I asked myself that when Cub told me. But we do. It's important.' El replies.

'Well 'Important' can go f*** itself. I'm not losing any more of my server to help against your s***ty crisis. You abandoned us, Vex died, Badtimes became a grumpy swear machine.' Hels snaps. 'And, you nerdmit. If you or any of your kind come here again I will cut off your fingers and toes and sell each of them to a different one of your friends.'

'Noted.' Cub crosses his arms. 'I will disappear and let the sculk destroy your server when it's done with ours.'

He pauses.

'...Sculk?'

'Badtimes is the only person we know who can fight it... Somehow his fire can destroy it in a way nothing else can.' Cub explains.

'It's called snake venom. From my magic vexy snake. Like how S***timeswithScar's cat has vex magic, but it's actually cool because Worm's a snake, not a s****y cat.'

'I know you're a vexling too, nerd face. I don't know... Maybe you can use your MAGIC.'

'The sculk removed my magic.' Cub explains. I frown.

'What?! It can DO THAT?!'

'Yes! And Pix as been possessed.'

'What?' Memories rise of Pix being nice to me rise. His actual respect and appreciation of me...

'We need all the help we can get.'

'Uhh... 'we'?' Hels glares at El. 'You're seriously now one of them?'

'Yeah. I am. They're my friends. And I'm doing it for my dead brother.'

'Xisuma? The s*** sculky one who killed Vex?'

A nod.

'Well s*** you could've told me sooner than you were a NERD!' Hels snarls.

'Remember who helped you make this place?' El stands taller, drawing a sword. I grin in anticipation of the fight. 'And our agreement to rule over it together?'

'I made this place what it is, Elex Void.' Hels growls back, his flaming plume flaring up, eyes flashing. 'I have all the powers of the nether on my side. What have YOU got?'

'Xel and 5 don't care about you. And NPG, RG and Grum are still indebted to me for repairing them.' Hels tries to argue, but after a moment gives up with a growl.

'Fine. Sure. Do what you want. But if you or Badtimes leave this world I'm blacklisting both of you.'

'I broke into Hermitcraft multiple times, even after I was banned. And my s***ty naive brother is far better at adminning than you. Was.'

But, while enjoying the power struggle between the 2, I've been thinking about Pix, and Vex, and even Scar in a weird way. Trapped by the sculk. Scared. Too weak and s***ty to get free.

They NEED me.

No one ever needs me.

'I'm in.'

'What?' El, Cub and Hels speak at the same time. The latter steps closer.

'I won't let you leave my server, Badtimes.'

'OUR server. Badtimes, thank you, we won't let you down.'

'Uhhh... I sure HOPE not.'

'Cub, are you ready to go?'

A nod.

'BadTimesWithScar, I swear on all the power of the nether that if you EVER come back here I'm turning Worm into Worm smoothie and making you drink it all.' Hels threatens.

'Well... You're not my Mom!' I snap back. 'F*** off I'm kicking some sculky a** and coming back whether you like it of not. Herm-s***s, let's go.'

And I push past Helsknight and out of my doorless home.

Never change, Badtimes.

Never change.