Kalego x Iruma One Shots

My Lost memories

It has been off by some twenty-five years since that day-the day I made the most terrible mistake of my life, which has haunted me since in every conscious breath that I take. Leaving behind Iruma after I had learned his true nature as a human was one decision in life that I could never take back. The regret that weighs upon me is great, as I know I chose to walk away rather than we confront him and find answers.

I remember the first days after I left-a vortex of guilt and self-loathing. Smothered by the realization that I'd just abandoned someone I loved so dearly without even allowing him a chance to explain, I'd told myself I was giving him space, a month to process and come to terms with everything. But as weeks gave way to months, my anxiety grew. But the most deafening silence came from Iruma's side, and by the fifth month, I could no longer bear the uncertainty.

Frantic to find him, I asked his friends and family in desperation if they knew where he might be, so they could at least lead me to him. The responses came firm and cold: "Do not look for him." I pleaded with them, begged, but my entreaties were met by the same firm refusals. Their denial cut deep into me, much like the guilt that had been eating at me. My resolve hardened: I would find Iruma, no matter the cost. Not after all we shared could I give up on him.

Even when they tried to convince me otherwise, I knew deep in my bones that Iruma would have done this for me. I looked everywhere he could have been, every corner of the world, any place where we had been intimate or had war. But it was a vain search; it was as if he had disappeared from life itself just to avoid me. Time ran its course, and my hope slowly began to dwindle.

Today, I found myself at Babyls, where the bulk of my memories lay with Iruma. The surroundings were all too familiar as the echoes of the past began to reverberate within the walls. My mind overflowed with what-ifs:

What if I hadn't left him?

What if I had listened to his explanation?

Perhaps we would have been together, our family already there.

I wandered around until I caught a glimpse of something familiar: the cherry blossom tree that Iruma had planted when he first came here.

And with the presence of that tree, it reminded me of something-the love we once shared. I stood there, staring like my answers were in that tree. Then, out of nowhere, I felt this piercing pain in my head.

It was like something tore through my mind, and flashes of unfamiliar memories assaulted me. It was an unbearable pain, but as it started to wear off, clarity set in-a clarity far colder than the indifference that I had been propping up.

The memories were mine, surfacing again after all these years. I remembered what I'd tried to forget: the reason I couldn't find Iruma no matter how hard I looked for him. And that was something too huge and painful to take: Iruma was gone; he was dead.

It felt as though a physical blow had struck with the realization, and it just left me feeling weak and disoriented. I slid against the tree, legs buckling from underneath me as my mind wrestled with the enormity of the loss. Iruma was no longer out there, no longer waiting for me to make amends.

The pain of my decision, years of regret, and an unfulfilled longing came crashing down on me.
I so desperately wanted reconciliation-the opportunity to rectify past wrongs-but it was too late now.

The life we could have lived together, the family we might have grown lost, taken away on the irreversible tide of time. All I could do was stand under the cherry blossom tree and mourn the loss of my loved one, our future never to be.