Shattered Asylum

Chapter 5

Hello chipmunks. It's me again. There will be Italian language from here on out... I will be getting it from google translate and I KNOW it never is 100% right... Sorry. The girl in the picture is not what Aven looks like, I just wanted to show you what the dress looked like in this chapter. Okay with that being said... enjoy.

I got home around eleven. Everyone tried to get me to go to a party that was happening downtown but I just wanted to head home. I couldn't shake this weird feeling that I was being watched.

I am scrolling through instagram and decide to stalk all of Nora's friends. They all have a pretty big following, none under a million followers. Madison posted that picture from Buddy's, everyone asking if she's dating Grayson.

She pretends to be this loving and caring girl and everyone falls for it. But then again, they wouldn't know how she acts through a picture.

I bite my lip, deciding to look at Graysons account. I tap on a picture where he has his shirt off, smiling. The background is blurred but it looks like he was at a beach. I put my phone up to my face to inspect it further. Ah, he has a silver chain around his neck.

I drop my phone on my face when I hear a knock at my door. I throw my phone away from me before telling them to come in. "Com'è andata la partita dei tuoi amici?" (How did your friend's match go?) Grandpa asks, leaning on my door frame.

"È stato bello. Abbiamo vinto per touchdown." (It was good. We won by a touchdown.) Why do I feel like I got caught doing something bad?  "Oh, bene caro, sono felice che ti sia divertito. Volevo solo controllarti." ( Oh, that's good dear, glad you had fun. Just wanted to check on you.)

My grandparents know my home life was bad, they just don't know the details. They used to come running in here every night from me screaming in my sleep. "Thanks nonno. Goodnight." He smiles and tells me goodnight before closing my door. I search for my phone that I threw across the room.

Once I find it, I turn it back on to see that the once clear heart is now red. My eyes bulge out of my head. NO. This can't be happening, I don't even follow him. He's going to know I was stalking him! I grab my pillow and put it over my face,screaming into it.

What the fuck did I just do?

~

Today is Saturday and grandma woke me up at 7 a.m. to go shopping with her. I thought we were only going to be gone for an hour or two.

It is currently 4:30 and we are only half way done. "OH! Quanto è carino questo?! Puoi provare anche questo." (Oh! How cute is this?! You can try this on too.) Grandma says taking it off the rack. "That actually is cute." It was a brown dress that had a sweetheart neckline with ruched front ruffles.

We went to the dressing rooms and I tried on everything she picked out for me. She loves fashion and has always wanted a daughter to dress up.

I put on the brown dress and look at myself in the mirror. I turn side to side trying to see every angle. " Uscire. Fammi vedere!" (Come out. Let me see!) She demands.

I breathe out before opening the door. Her hands fly to her mouth. "Bellissima! Far girare." (Beautiful! Turn around) I slowly turn around so she can look at the back. "We are getting it!" She said, clapping her hands.

We went to one more store for the night. Grandpa called while I was in the dressing room and said he had some work he needed to finish and needs grandma's help. We walk into Gucci because grandma wanted another bag.

As if twenty wasn't enough.

I look around at all the expensive stuff with my hands in my pockets, afraid of breaking something. I look over at the men's section and see Grayson looking at a shirt.

I duck down behind a jewelry display table, hoping he didn't see me. A few minutes go by and I peek my head up to see if he is gone.

I see arms rested on the display case, I look up to see Grayson leaned over, staring down at me. I chuckle, showing him my pearly white teeth. "You do know this is see through, right?" He asked, smirking at me. I stand up, dusting my knees off.

"Yeah I know. I was just looking at the..." I look down to see what's in the case. "Watches." This can't get any worse. "Uh huh. Stalking me online and in person I see." I was wrong. It can get worse, MUCH worse. "Pfft, no... I w-was just lo-" I get cut off by someone talking behind me.

"Ah! There you are." I turn around to see grandma with her new bag. "Chi è questa carino?" (Who is this cutie?) Grandma asks, in a suggestive tone. I feel my cheeks burn in embarrassment. "È solo un amico, nonna." (He is just a friend, grandma) I tell her.

"What is your name young man?" She asks Grayson, looking him up and down. "Grayson Dolan ma'am." He reaches for her hand to shake.

She takes his hand, pulling him closer. "And what relations do you have with my granddaughter?" I pinch my nose, wanting this conversation to be done.

"Just friends ma'am." He says, still holding her hand. "Hmm. You will join us for dinner tomorrow at 7." She demands. "NO... I-I mean, you're busy tomorrow... with that thing... Right?" I hint towards Grayson. I don't need the interrogation from them.

"7 is perfect for me." He says, giving her his signature smirk. He looks towards me. "I'll be seeing you tomorrow." Oh nonna.

What did you just get me into?

~

I called Nora when I got home, telling her what happened and how grandma invited Grayson for dinner. Of course, she made fun of me when I told her I accidentally liked his picture saying

"It was just meant to be. Now you guys are going to get married and make lots of babies."

I was obviously mortified after she said that and hung up.

I didn't come here to get a boyfriend. I came here to get away from one. I just want to focus on myself and actually have fun for once, not constantly be worried about what's going to happen next.

I am so scared to be alone with guys, I've never had a good experience with them. I've tried dating one other time and my trauma just couldn't let me be. I'm better alone, my mind will never let me be free of the past no matter how hard I try.

My therapist said I need to come to terms and forgive what has happened to me, like it's that easy. I still feel their hands on my body, no matter how hard I scrub or scratch my skin. I don't want to feel a guy's touch ever again.