Shattered Asylum

Chapter 74

I have no clue how I got here.

How did I end up in Grayson's room? Why am I wearing his shirt? Did we...?

Did we make up? Did he change his mind about wanting to be with me? I clutch my head, a migraine already forming as the questions swirl.

I glance over at him slumped in the rocking chair, his head resting in his hand. His hair is disheveled, his shirt rumpled, and there's a stiffness to his posture that makes my chest tighten.

He looks... troubled.

Grayson stirs, his hand falling away from his face as his eyes lock onto mine. He straightens in the chair, tension radiating off him as his gaze bores into me.

"You're awake," he says quietly, his voice heavy with relief.

"Yeah," I murmur, my throat dry. I clear it awkwardly. "Um... what happened? How did I...?" My cheeks burn as the questions spill out.

His jaw tightens, and for a moment, he looks away. "What do you remember?" He asks, his voice careful, like he's bracing himself for my answer.

I wrack my brain, trying to piece together the scattered fragments. "I was on the couch with Caleb. I remember I was tired and wanted to go to bed... and then..." My brow furrows as unease creeps in. "That's it. Everything else is blank."

He exhales, rubbing a hand down his face. When his eyes meet mine again, there's something raw and unspoken in his gaze that sends a chill through me.

"Aven..." He hesitates, the words caught in his throat. He presses his lips together, his hands clenching into fists as he seems to battle with himself.

Finally, he inhales sharply, his voice barely above a whisper. "Caleb helped you to bed... and he..."

He stops, his hands trembling slightly as his jaw works. His eyes meet mine again, filled with anguish, and the weight of his expression tells me everything I need to know.

My stomach churns as my mind tries to fill in the blanks. I clutch the blanket around me tighter, my chest tightening.

I remember flirting with Caleb earlier, trying to make Grayson jealous. Did I want to go further?

I did find him attractive, but I don't think I would've wanted to go further than just flirting... right?

"Oh..." is all I manage to say. It's all I can say. My head feels too heavy, my thoughts tangled in knots. I didn't think I drank that much. I hate that I can't remember anything.

I get up, my body feeling disgusting as I keep trying to think about what happened. Caleb really did that? He seemed like such a good and consensual guy.

You really can't trust anyone.

"I stopped him before anything further could've happened. I'm so sorry... I shouldn't have let him help you. I should've protected you a-"

"You did. You stopped him. Thank you," I interrupt, needing to shut that train of thought down. I can't stand hearing him blame himself.

I just want to be alone right now and take the longest shower.

"This wasn't your fault, okay? Please don't blame yourself," Grayson says, already reading my thoughts before I can even fully process them. "He knew how drunk you were. He knew you were asleep. He knew it wasn't right, okay?"

I was... asleep?

I don't know why, but knowing I was asleep makes me feel even more exposed, disgusted, embarrassed.

I nod stiffly, not trusting myself to speak. The need to scrub my skin, to erase everything, becomes overwhelming. Without another word, I head for the bathroom, leaving Grayson sitting there with that same look of guilt etched on his face.