Shattered Asylum

Chapter 39

Teddy grunts at me for what feels like the thirtieth time, and I finally force myself out of the car. My feet feel like they're dragging through cement as I walk into school, head down, shoulders hunched.

I don't look at anyone. I don't want to see their faces or hear their voices. I just want to get through the day unnoticed.

I go straight to my locker, keeping my eyes on the ground as I spin the dial. The clang of the metal door opening echoes loudly, or maybe it's just in my head.

I slip my backpack onto my sore shoulders and head to class without stopping to breathe.

The minute I sit down at my desk, I turn my phone on for the first time in two days. It vibrates nonstop, lagging under the flood of messages and notifications.

My stomach churns as I flip it over, the screen lighting up relentlessly even when I try to ignore it.

"Avanie Cecilia Woods!"

Nora's voice slices through the classroom noise like a blade. I freeze, gripping the edge of my desk as she marches over.

I don't look at her; I don't want to. Maybe if I stay still enough, she'll disappear.

"You better have an excellent reason for ignoring me for the past two days!"

I finally glance up, and her expression drops the second she sees me. She gasps, one hand flying to her mouth, her eyes wide with shock.

"You look like a wreck," she blurts out, her voice softer this time. "I mean, a pretty wreck," she adds quickly.

She crouches down so we're eye-level, and I hate how close she is. How much she can see me. My red, swollen eyes. My blotchy cheeks. The cracks in the mask I'm trying to hold up.

Her gaze is too much, too sharp, like it's peeling away my skin. I drop my face into my hands, hoping she'll back off if I don't say anything.

My chest tightens as tears slip between my fingers. I hate this. I hate that I'm crying. I hate the she's seeing me like this.

I flinch when I feel her hand on my leg, the gentle touch making me recoil, even though I don't mean to.

I pull away just slightly, enough to put space between us, but not enough to push her away completely. I can't look at her.

"What did he do to you?" She whispers, her voice barely audible.

"I don't want to talk about it." My words come out muffled, shaky, broken from behind my hands.

I should be stronger than this. I should be able to shut her out like I shut out everyone else. But this time, this moment, is too raw, too close to the surface.

I take a shuddering breath, forcing myself to sit up and wipe my tears away. My face feels stiff as I try to put on the smile I practiced in the car. I know it's not convincing, but it's better than nothing.

"I am fine," I say, my voice flat as I open my notebook. "I just felt under the weather and decided to stay home."

"Aven, please don't do that," Nora says, her voice cracking as she stares at me.

"Don't do what?" I keep my eyes on the paper, scribbling my name at the top of the page even though my hand shakes.

"Don't shut me out again. Please."

Her words hang in the air, heavy and unshakable. I feel something crack in my chest, and I sigh, the fake smile slipping away. I can't hold it up anymore.

"He hurt you, didn't he?" Her voice trembles. "This is all my fault!"

She drops her face into her hands, her shoulders shaking. Her guilt throws me off. I don't know how to handle it, this sudden shift of blame.