Shattered Asylum

Chapter 31

I don't know when I got to my car or how I even made it home. The drive is a blur, a chaotic mess of headlights and stoplights I barely noticed.

My body feels numb, like I'm just floating, disconnected from reality. Somewhere in the distance, I can hear my grandparents' voices as I step through the door, but their words don't register.

I head straight for the stairs, taking them two at a time. Once I'm in my room, I slam the door behind me, the sound echoing like a gunshot in the quiet house. Leaning back against the door, I clutch at my chest, my heart aching like it's been ripped apart.

The tears come before I can stop them, hot and relentless, streaming down my cheeks as I slide to the floor.

My shoulders shake violently, and the sobs choke me, breaking through the barriers I've tried so hard to build.

I press my hand to my mouth, trying to stifle the sound, but it only makes it worse.

This pain, it's raw and consuming, a kind of hurt I've never felt before. It's not the same as when Dad died, but it's just as sharp, just as unbearable.

My mind spirals, thoughts crashing into each other in a storm I can't control.

Why am I crying? Is it because of Grayson? Because of Daniel now knows where I live? Is it both? I don't even know anymore.

It feels like everything is unraveling all at once, and I can't hold the pieces together.

The knock at my door pulls me back for a moment. "Tesoro, cosa è successo?" (Honey, what happened?) Grandma's voice is soft but worried.

I try to respond, but the words catch in my throat. My breathing becomes erratic, shallow gasps that make my chest burn.

The panic is too much, suffocating me. I move away from the door, desperate for her comfort.

The door opens slowly, and I see her standing there, worry etched into her face. Without thinking, I drop to my knees, wrapping my arms around her waist.

She holds me close, her hand cradling the back of my head as she whispers soothingly.

"Oh, Avanie," she murmurs, her voice thick with emotion.

Footsteps echo down the hall, and soon Grandpa appears, his expression a mix of concern and quiet anger. "Chi l'ha fatto?" (Who did it?) He asks, his tone low and protective.

I shake my head, unable to answer, my body trembling. "Dopo." (Later.) Grandma says softly, glancing at him. He nods, his jaw tightening, but he doesn't press further.

She pulls me to my feet and guides me to my bed, sitting down beside me. She pats her lap, a silent invitation, and I collapse onto it, laying my head against her.

Her fingers comb gently through my hair, and she hums a soft, familiar tune. The sound soothes me, and for the first time tonight, the storm in my mind begins to quiet.

Grandpa sits at the edge of the bed, lifting my legs and resting them across his lap. He doesn't say anything, but his presence is grounding, solid. Together, they create a cocoon of safety, and slowly, exhaustion overtakes me.

I don't remember falling asleep. I wish I hadn't woken up.

When I do, it's dark, my room empty. I fumble for the lamp on my nightstand, blinking against the sudden light. My phone catches my eye, still charging where I must have left it.

When did I even do that?

The clock reads 4:45 a.m. I reach for my phone and see dozens...no, hundreds, of missed messages and calls. My chest tightens as I scroll through them, most from Nora and Kristina.

Where are you?
Are you okay?
What happened?

One message from Kristina stops me cold.

K. Did you and Grayson have a fight? He came home drunk last night, being such a dick. He was saying you lied to him, and that you're just like the others. What happened? Call me.

The phone slips from my hands, landing on the bed as I curl into myself, pulling my knees to my chest. My sobs are quieter now, but the tears keep coming, soaking the pillow beneath me.

~

I didn't go to school for the rest of the week. I couldn't bring myself to see Grayson. The idea of him, hearing his voice, made my chest tighten to the point where I couldn't breathe. So I stayed in bed, barely moving, barely existing.

The world outside my room felt like a distant memory. I only got up when I couldn't hold it anymore, dragging myself to the bathroom like a ghost haunting my own home.

Grandma tried everything to get me to eat, my favorite meals, soft encouragement, even stern scolding, but it didn't matter.

Every bite turned into ash in my mouth, and when I forced it down, it came right back up. She stopped asking after the third time, settling instead for sitting quietly by my side, her hand resting on my arm as if her presence alone could hold me together.

The only place I felt safe was here, in this house. With the guards at the gates and Grandpa downstairs, ready to face any threat, I felt like nothing touch touch me. Not Daniel. Not my past. Not even my own thoughts, though they tried.

When I finally told them about Daniel and Joe, the words came out jagged and broken. Grandpa's face darkened in a way I'd never seen before, his hands clenching and unclenching as if he were restraining himself from breaking something.

He didn't say much, just a terse "I'll handle it" before retreating to his office to make calls.

Grandma didn't push me for details I couldn't give, didn't judge me when I stumbled over my words or broke down in the middle of a sentence.

She just listened, holding my hand, her thumb gently stroking my knuckles like I was a frightened child again.

And even though reliving those memories felt like ripping stitches from an old wound, I felt lighter. Like I wasn't carrying it all alone anymore.

But the weight of everything else...the hurt, the confusion, the fear, still sat heavy on my chest, pressing down harder with every passing day.

Nora and Kristina had been dropping off my homework, their concerned voices filtering through the door as they asked to see me. I always told Grandma to send them away.

I hate myself for it. I hated the way their disappointment seeped through the cracks in the walls, but I couldn't bring myself to let them in. They wouldn't understand. How could they?

Grayson's words replayed in my mind like a broken record. The way he looked at me, hurt betrayed, like I wasn't the person he thought I was, was burned into my memory.

I should've known better. She's just like the others.

How did Daniel even know about him? How did he know about us? The questions spiraled endlessly, each one more painful than the last.

When I finally got up to use the bathroom, the mirror caught my eye. My reflection stopped me in my tracks.

I leaned against the counter, peering closer. My eyes were red and swollen, dark shadows beneath them sinking deep into my skin.

My cheeks were blotchy and tear-streaked, my hair a matted mess piled on top of my head. I looked like a stranger, someone broken, someone I didn't recognize.

The disgust welled up in my chest, sharp and suffocating. I turned away, unable to look at myself anymore.

Back in bed, I pulled the covers over my head, wrapping myself in the dark like it could hide me from everything, my thoughts, my pain, my reflection.

I lay there, silent tears soaking my pillow, until sleep finally claimed me.

~

Sorry for the sad chapter.

Word Count:1327

See you in the next one!