Shattered Asylum

Chapter 10

I wake up at 4:10, sweat coating my neck and forehead. My hear races like I've been running, but I can't remember what scared me. It's been the same for years, restless nights, tossing and turning until I finally jolt awake. At least I don't scream in my sleep anymore, I've learned to hold it in. Now, I just make whimpering noises, twisting in my sheets until the nightmares spits me out.

One night, I got curious. I set up my phone on my desk, hit record, and fell asleep. I only made it an hour before waking up. Watching the footage the next day was like seeing someone else, this stranger who clenched the sheets like they were a lifeline, head jerking, quiet, broken sounds slipping out. I haven't done it again. Knowing is worse than not knowing.

I get out of bed to use the bathroom, brush my teeth, and splash some water on my face before climbing back into bed. My cozy comforter wraps around me like a shield, soft and grey. Grey is my favorite color, so my whole room is decorated in it, walls, bedding, curtains.

It's like my little cocoon.

I grab my phone off the nightstand and see Grayson texted me two hours ago.

G. Did you know the average dick size is less than six inches?

I stare at the screen for a moment, blinking. Hmm. Interesting, I guess. I'm not exactly surprised his fun fact involves genitals. I don't bother texting him back, I don't know what to say to that anyway.

I switch over to Instagram for a bit and scroll aimlessly, liking a few posts here and there before getting bored. TikTok entertains me for another twenty minutes, but by then, it's time to start getting ready for school.

Kristina and I are going to the away football game tonight, and she invited me to stay over at her house afterward. I've never had a sleepover before. The only ones I ever had were with Mr. Darcy, the stuffed bear my dad gave my for my tenth birthday. He was one of the only things I had left from him.

Joe hated Mr. Darcy. I remember sneaking snacks up to my room one night, and he caught me. His face went red, his words sharp. I didn't even see it coming when he snatched Mr. Darcy out of my hands. He tossed him to his Rottweiler, Benji, and let the dog "play" with him.

I still hear the ripping sound, see the cotton guts spilling out of his body. Mr. Darcy was gone in seconds, and my heart was never quite the same after that.

Shaking off the memory, I pack an extra set of clothes into my backpack and get dressed. I put on a brown oversized shirt with a white turtleneck underneath, black leggings, and white Converse. After pulling my hair into a high ponytail, I tug out a few side pieces to frame my face and start on my makeup.

Once I'm done, I spray on some perfume and head downstairs.

It's almost 7, and my grandparents aren't up yet. I pour myself a bowl of cereal and plop onto the couch to watch YouTube while I eat. By the time I'm out the door, the sun is just starting to rise, the air crisp and cool as I make my way to school.

When I get to my locker, I feel arms wrap around me from behind. My body jumps, a spike of fear shooting through me before I freeze, my heart pounding. I tense up, trying to breathe through the rush of adrenaline. I don't think I'll ever get used to being touched again.

"I'm so excited for our girls' night tonight!" Kristina says, her head resting on my shoulder.

I feel my body loosen slightly at her familiar voice. My heart's still racing, but the tension starts to fade. I press a hand to my chest. "Jeez, don't sneak up on my like that."

Kristina pulls back with a laugh. "I'm sorry! But I am just really excited."

"I am too. I've never had a sleepover before," I admit, shrugging.