Sleeping with My Boss (and his son?)

Chapter 32

As I look at him where he waits for me on the porch, Jason is looking defeated, not angry. I tell Donovan to please trust me and to please give us just a moment. Sliding out of his truck, I walk into the arms of my husband. An embrace. Both of us emotional. As he hugs me, he says, "I do love you, Madelyn. I always have. But I know you need more. That you deserve more. And it fucking hurts."

I pull him closer, "this wasn't supposed to happen to us. We have had some amazing times together. And a part of me will always love you and will always be yours, but..." I stop, crying and afraid to say it.

He pulls back, a moment of anger flashes, "but, you're in love with him." He lets go and shakes he head, grabbing the rail on the porch, "I knew when you wouldn't talk to me this week what was happening. Dammit, Mads," at this he looks at me, "why is he here for this?"

I smile softly, "I wasn't sure if I should bring him or not, but he is a part of this. He isn't going anywhere, Jase." He gives a nod and crosses his arms, "I guess tell him to come inside. Your mom texted that she's bringing the kids in a few hours. Seems we have some things to talk about."

I take a step away from him, turning to motion Donovan inside, and I stop. I turn back to my husband, soon to be ex-husband, and I hug him again. His arms wrap tightly around me and we hold each other. "I love you, Jason. I will always love you. But  for the first time in my life, I have to love myself more. Thank you, for not making this harder than it is already going to be."

He kisses my head, and then, gently cups my face in his hands and softly kisses me. The kids intensifies and there are years of love and pain and betrayal in the kiss. It's what I think we both know will be the last kiss we share. Tears spill and he lets me go as he walks inside.

I wipe my tears and turn back around heading to Donovan. He gets out of the truck and pulls me to him. "I'm sorry, Donovan, I imagine that was hard to watch.

He just shakes his head. "It looked like a goodbye."

I just hug him and nod my head. "He said to have you come inside."

A few minutes later, the three of us are sitting around my living room. Before I can start talking again, Donovan speaks. "Thank you for allowing me to be a part of this."

Jason laughs kind of sharply at this, "I don't really think I had much of a choice"

The tension is thick again. And to avoid crying again, I begin the conversation. "I guess now, we need to talk about how we're going to tell the kids. And, I still need to find a place to stay, but I would like to take some things with me today."

Jason is shaking his head, "that's not gonna work. You need to be with the kids. You haven't been here for the past week, they are coming home soon, it's not fair to them for you to lay this on their lap and then walk out the door again. I also work shifts, you're able to provide stability. And I don't give a shit about this house Mads, I will find somewhere else. I've been talking to Paul, and he mentioned having the apartment above his garage available temporarily. I'm just gonna crash there while I look for a house."

I let out a sigh. The relief of this moment, overwhelming. I can't believe how understanding, how cooperative, how kind, Jason is being. I've spent years scared of setting this man off. I don't understand how he isn't fighting harder. As crazy as it sounds, I want him to be angry, I want him to yell at me, to shout at me, to call me names. because that's the Jason I'm walking away from. The man before me right now, he's making this much more difficult.

A couple hours later, Jason, heads upstairs to clear his head and give us a few minutes of space before the kids come. I'm not really sure if my parents are staying, but I imagine not. We've discussed how we're going to tell the kids. We've discussed introducing Donovan. We've discussed our separation. And I think we're all drained. As soon as Jason is up the stairs, Donovan has his arm around me and relax into him. A few minutes early, my mom texts me that they are pulling in. I yell up to let Jason know and kiss Donovan hard before sending him to the back deck as discussed.

Jason and I are just getting to the front porch as my parents and our kids join us. 14, 11, 7, and 5, and they have no idea anything is amiss. Smothered in hugs and kisses from the younger two, I stand up and hug my mom, and then my daddy. Jason and the kids start heading in and my mom says, "we are going to wait out here in case any of you need us, if that's okay?" I give them a nod and join my family in the living the room for the last time before their world crumbles.

Sitting them down, Jason begins by saying that we both love them and each other, and before he even gets that out, our oldest says, "are you guys divorcing?"

Looking at me, Jason says, "we are."

The kids are quiet, a few battling tears, and Jason and I take turns telling them all the things that won't change. We ask them if they want to talk about it, or if they have any questions. No one does. Knowing this shouldn't fall on Jason's shoulders, I share the next part. I take my time telling them that there is someone I'd to introduce them to, that they know from my work, but that they will be seeing more. All that gets me are "okays". I ask them to give me a minute when my oldest pulls me to the side to hug me and say, "I love you, mom. And I love dad, but I hear what he says to you. You should have kicked him out a long time ago."

And in that moment, I hug my baby girl to me, realizing just how big she is getting. I kiss her forehead and then press mine to hers, "please don't blame your daddy. Hopefully this is better for all of us."