Delicate Hearts

Forty Two

filler chapter as I am soo busy 😊

The definition of a soulmate was short, simply ' a person ideally suited to another as a close friend or romantic partner'.

But for Meredith when she wrote Derek was her soulmate it wasn't that short definition she used. She created her own just for them, for him and for what summed up all of her feelings.

Dear Diary 

He's my soulmate, not in the way most people would define it. He brought happiness into my life that I had never experienced before. He helped me let down my guard and open up to new possibilities. With him came the huge family I had always hoped for, that I had always craved. He took a heart that he didn't break and he fixed it. Piece by piece. He showed me my scars were not shameful nor ugly. He helped me fall in love with each mark, he taught me they were my battle scars, a permanent reminder of my strength.  Never did I think I would be sitting here cradling my small bump writing about love. These pages have been my mechanism for years, they once held poems and poems about pain, abuse and depression. But now they hold my present and my future, not my past. They hold the plans for our future, the plans for our nursery, baby names I adore as well as my declarations of love.  He isn't my soulmate because we are suited to each other. He is my soulmate because we were made for each other. He made what was once a dark and twisted heart , pink and healthy again. 

I will forever call Derek Shepherd my saviour, my  lover and most of all my soulmate.

They had never been happier, Derek was working more day shifts so he could be there in the evenings. He loved falling asleep with his large hand on her bump. She was petite before she fell pregnant, she used that as the reason to justify her bump that was already large. 

She woke up a few days ago and it was there, no longer a swell but a rounded visible bump. She kept her diet strictly healthy. She had chocolate in small amounts but she would choose a strawberry yoghurt over chocolate every time.

This weekend the Shepherd's and Meredith were heading down to the beach house. With Meredith being pregnant Derek refused to let her drive. So Mark was taking his car with Carolyn and Charles as well as Ruby since had had most space. Derek took the luggage in his car as well as Amelia and Addison.

Laurence couldn't make it as he had work so Kathleen and Lucas travelled with Lizzy, Logan and Lacey.

The entire drive Derek had his hand resting on Meredith's leg. He thought about how far they had come. He remembered the day he first ever set his eyes on her. He knew then she was it for him. Even if along the way he had made a few mistakes.  

She was his oxygen, without her he couldn't live. A year ago he wouldn't have pictured this for himself. Being happy,  a baby on the way with the woman who he loves more than anything.

Once they had arrived everyone took their bags to their rooms. Derek of course took everything including the soft pillow although Meredith said she was' pregnant not useless'.  

"Mer, can I tell you something. Its fucking killing me" He announced as they sat on the small sofa in their room. Meredith nodded with a smile, resting her head on his shoulder as he spoke. "I am fucking terrified of losing you. When you were shot.. i thought I would never get the chance to see you again, to love you and appreciate you. I had taken you for granted. I never ever want to feel like that again.I am so sorry that I had to nearly fucking loose you before I realised" He instantly relaxed once he had spoken. 

Meredith sat up and cupped his cheeks, her focus on him and him only.

"Derek, listen to me. We didn't expect for anything like that to happen. You didn't take me for granted we just didn't appreciate the time. You work hard and were so busy it happens. But in those moments when I thought I was dying your love is what pulled me through." She grabbed his hand and placed it on her bump. "This is our future Derek. You are everything to me so is our baby. Nothing from the past matters now. I have you, I am yours as you are mine. Its a promise not a statement " She always knew what to say, how to reassure him, it was one of the many reasons why he loved her so much.

"I fucking love you so much. You are perfect"He shook his head as he crushed her lips with his. He was frantic with his tongue as if he needed this to keep him alive.

"I love you so much."She pulled away stopping Derek from heating anything further.  They unpacked, changed into beach appropriate clothes. Meredith wore a blue one piece costume with black shorts over her bottom. Derek just wore a t shirt and trunks.

It seemed they had taken longer than everyone else as a note with the keys had been left for them.

They spoke the entire walk to the beach, Meredith giggling  as Derek spoke in baby voices. They were the couple everyone envied. Meredith looked flawless with her rounded bump. Derek was loving how her breasts had become bigger. Although Meredith complained that they were always falling out of her clothes.

She was perfect in his eyes, even when she had been sat by the toilet with sick spilling from her mouth he called her beautiful.

Once they were finally on the beach Derek settled in the sand, watching Meredith in complete adoration as she threw Ruby's ball, lightly ran around with her as well as playing with little Lacey. He could see his entire future when he looked at her.

He could see them growing old, with three children, grandchildren, dogs and cats. He could see her painting with the kids, teaching them colours and silly things. He could see himself coming home from a long day at work to her having dinner ready, a child on her hip and in her arms.

He could picture their wedding day, her looking flawless. 

He knew she was his definition of forever.