Unknown Sencen

Guilt

"You have thirty seconds to get out of here before these arrows eat you alive," you snarl. Your mom laughs and comes closer. You stiffen but don't move. 

"Now, Y/n, you seem to have misunderstood our visit," she says in a voice that lays thick on the charm. You glare at her, but she doesn't seem to realize. More arrows add to your arsenal, but they're made by Tam, not you. The shadowflux blocking your mind shows in your eyes, turning them black. Fear flicks across your conscience coming from the Neverseen.

"Leave," you order as the arrows go nearer.

"We just wanted to chat, Y/n," she says, fear evident in her voice. You feel confusion coming from Foster and Tam as they hear the fear. You step forward, towards your mom. She steps back.

"Ten seconds," you hiss.

"Come on, Y/n. Can't we have a civilized chat? Mother to daughter?" she asks.

"NO! You ruined my life! You took away any chance I had at being normal! You have only ever cared for yourself and deserve the pain!" you yell as the shadowflux dives into her heart. She screams out in pain, and you look on without sympathy or guilt. Until it's nearly too late. You realize what you're doing and pull the shadowflux out. You step back from your own fear and Elwin rushes down as you fall to your knees. Tam comes over and hugs you comfortingly. Sobs rack your body as you cry into Tam's shoulder, praying that the guilt you feel doesn't shatter you. Keefe joins the hug but instantly jumps back.

"Jesus Christ," he whispers. He looks at you with pity.

"What?" Tam asks.

"It's a miracle she hasn't shattered. The guilt was almost enough to make me shatter," Keefe explains. Tam hugs you tighter, a few tears landing on top of your head, showing that Tam's crying, too.

"We'll give you two a moment," Foster says. She ushers everyone out. You continue to sob into Tam's shoulder as he hugs you tight. He picks you up bridal style, bringing you to your room. He lays you down on the bed and goes to leave.

"Don't," you whisper before more sobs rack your body. He comes over and you cuddle into his chest. You end up crying yourself to sleep and wake up with Tam not there.

"Tam!" you call, your voice raspy from the hours of tears the previous night and from sleeping. He comes out of the bathroom and walks over to you.

"How are you feeling, babe?" he asks.

"Guilty," you admit.

"You were blinded by rage. You weren't controlling yourself. It's not your fault," he whispers as he hugs you again.

"But it is, Tam. I should've called the flame and shadows to me the moment I felt the rage spiraling out of control. The moment the shadowflux turned my eyes black," you whisper, trying not to cry.

"What?" he asks, his brow furrowing.

"When I get really angry, the shadowflux blocking my mind shows in my eyes, turning them black. That's why my mom was so scared. She knew what happens when I get that angry. I lose control. I should've taken calming breaths like my Mentors taught me. I could've stopped this, but I didn't. If she dies, I don't know if I'll be able to keep the guilt from shattering me," you explain. He hugs you tight. He doesn't say anything as you sob even more.

"I understand why you feel guilty, Y/n. And you have every right to feel what you do. But you can't let the guilt shatter you. If you shatter, I don't know what I'll do with myself. You and Linh are the best things that have happened to me. My life really started to suck before I met you. You got me out of a dark place without even trying. You are the light to my darkness. You are what I needed without me even knowing I needed you. Thank you and please don't let the guilt shatter you," Tam finally said after a minute.

"I'll try not to," you whisper. You still feel the guilt, but Tam's words really helped. You just hope your mom doesn't die. Then the guilt really would shatter you.

"Thank you. For everything. Let's get you fixed up. We have to go to Foxfire. Unfortunately," he says. You nod and go get ready. You brush your hair and go to Foxfire. If you thought Zombie Foster or Zombie Keefe were bad, then you're in for a treat. When you're zoned out, you could spark a flame without realizing it. And you do. Multiple times. You catch Lady Galvin's cape on fire in detention and Keefe howls with laughter. You apologize time and again but still get detention for another week. You sigh as you walk to your Empathy class. Keefe comes up next to you.

"Want to ditch?" he asks. "I can show you the Mentor's cafeteria and we can eat the whole period."

"You do realize Dad is my Mentor, right? He'll give me even more detention than Galvin after I set her cape on fire. I'll probably go in, zone out, catch his glorious hair on fire, then have to get a different Empathy mentor," you say.

"Then catch his hair on fire on purpose, make it seem like an accident, then you get out of class and can ditch without getting detention for ditching!" Keefe responds. You nod, contemplating his idea.

"Alright," you say eventually. He smiles and runs off. You go in the room and pretend to zone out. His hair lights ablaze and, thanks to the gel, it's a blaze within seconds. You quickly snuff it out, apologizing time and again. He kicks you out of the classroom and you meet Keefe at his usual ditching spot. He leads you to the Mentor's cafeteria and you start eating. The bell rings and you both go to study hall. You and Tam practice with shadowflux and are getting better by the day. You finally get to go home, and you do. Sophie calls everyone to her house.

"I got information about Nightfall," she says. You look at Tam and we're both confused.

"We're going to need to get some more information," Tam says, pointing between the two of you. She fills you in on everything about Nightfall then gets to the information she has.

"We figured out where Nightfall is. Technically just the vicinity, but still," she says.

"Well where is it?" Fitz asks.

"Atlantis," she responds.

"You realize how big that place is?" you ask. She nods.

"We'll split up in looking. Look for this symbol," she explains. She shows you a projection of Vespera's signature. You nod, memorizing it instantly with your photographic memory. You all go to Atlantis and start looking. You and Tam get to the Unity Fountain and look up at it. That's when you spot something on the human's scepter. A symbol. Vespera's signature. You guys call the others with your shadow-whispering. Everyone arrives and they see it. You go back to Havenfield to make a plan. You bake up some mallowmelt and bring it out. Once your back, the plan making commences as you all spout ideas on what to do and what not to do.