Unsaid Love

fourteen

I've never feared of anything except one, words. Yes the simple words, which have enough power to make you feel happy, sad and many more emotions. Few soothing, loving and encouraging word to the sensitive people like me, can takes them on cloud nine and few bitterly utter words can torn their heart into million pieces.

My heart is like a glass, very fragile and flimsy. Something said by someone means alot to me, I don't wanted any kind of words of affirmation from anyone but I do wanted to be taken as what I'm and how I am.

Time after time, I changed my position to get a sleep but it's only making it more difficult for me. I didn't know that all it takes one day to stir shaken the whole building which we made with our love for the past 3 years.

White ceiling seems to be more intriguing to me, the silence inside the room and inside me causing a ruckus of emotions, I feel like crying but still there's no tear in my eyes, and the most devastating part is it has nothing to do with what Suho says to me but the realisation that for whom I even leave my own family, can so easily break me.

I sighed, and get up from my bed, sleep is nowhere to come so I decided to have some warm water.

When I reached to the kitchen my eyes landed to the sink where the morning bowl of vegetables soup was left, I blinked once then twice before discarding it into the dustbin. I have no energy left in me, there's many option to remove physical exhaustion but mentally.

And I do have a solution for it, my one and only comfort drink, hot chocolate. So I made it for myself and taking it along with my favourite book "me before you" I marched towards the balcony where Suho had settled the two chairs for us.

He likes looking at sunrise in morning while I love to admire the sunset. His logic was sunrise makes you feel that starting have to be beautiful for the rest of smooth journey, and my logic is despite the many hurdles in your journey whether your starting is good or bad, ending can be beautiful, it's totally upto you if you're happy to just start then give up or you crave to see the ending so you never give up.

One sip of my hot chocolate and the clogging inside the mind started unwinding, untill I saw a car standing few metres away from my place, and I frowned since it was so dark that I couldn't see properly.

When taehyung leave me at my place it was not there.

Maybe someone new shifted here.

Earlier when taehyung took u-turn to go Irene unnie's house, he received a call from her saying that they are leaving tonight for their honeymoon.

And then I remember that her wedding happened like 2 weeks ago, I mentally slap myself for thinking I could stay at her place, that's too when they are newly married.

Since I couldn't ask taehyung again to give me his place to stay for once, I told him to leave me at my apartment.

I could manage it, I have to manage it, all alone.

I could manage it, I have to manage it, all alone.

Only this, I was chanting whole ride, restlessness was probably be visible on face as taehyung was kept looking at me in confusion, he pull over infront of my rented place, with heavy heart and many thoughts I was leaving his car untill he suprisingly grabbed my left hand making me halted, I turn to see him gently rubbing the pad of his thumb on my bruises before he applied, a medicinal liquid gel, the coldness of it along with slight sting reminded me how badly Suho held my hand.

I have already counted two times, better be thrice wouldn't happen.

"Who--how did it happen?" his voice didn't come out as cold and stern rather it was raspy with a little bit of concern which immediately caught me off guard.

"It's nothing, that I couldn't handle." I replied while analysing his face, and then it occurs to me that it's the first time we are talking normally.

"It's not about handling, it's shouldn't happen, especially to you."

His unfiltered response cause my eyes widen, did my heart flutter? yes, did I felt something in my stomach? Yes and did I wanted to recognise it? No.

"I am okay, I should thank you for helping me even you might don't wanted, thank you taehyung, bye, goodnight, drive safely." I said everything anxiously without giving him a chance to say anything coz I don't wanted to hear him right now, I pulled my hand from his.

A ring on my phone diverted my attention from the car and found a the familiar number.

"Chaengie, you okay baby?" I heard her sobbing as I ask her, she is literally a crybaby, most sensitive in our group.

"Unnieee." she burst into crying, and I panicked.

"Chaengie, where is Jen? Is she with you? did you get hurt? Tell me, say something, I could come to you anytime, you know?, no, actually I'm coming."

"Unnie hold your horse, stay where you are, I'm safe now, but trust me those bitches were going to hell for trying to bully me." I sighed a relief once I heard her determined voice.

"Then, why were crying wait- did you ate something?"

"Noooo~~ I haven't eaten for past 2 hours, and Jen unnie is taking a lot time to make me food, she didn't even gave me snacks, she told me first I should eat something delicious but her delicious food is not coming, unnieee." I wanted to badly laugh when I listened her telling me the crisis of her life while continuously hiccuping.

I restrained myself from laughing, imagining her puffy cute cheeks.

"How about you talk with me untill Jen makes you food?"

"Ohh yeahh good idea, beautiful unnie." I chuckled knowing 'beautiful unnie' comes from her only when she's really happy.

We talked alot, and it makes me more tired that I found myself yawning look like sleep is finally on the way, next thing I know I fall asleep.

First day

Second day

Third day

And today is fourth day when I ignored all the apology message, every call, video call request of Suho. He better be showed up at my door with disheveled face, messy hair, and bags under eyes to show me that he really suffer without me, and this will be the only first step of his forgiveness for what he did to me.

I'm going to make him regret hard before even think about another chance.

                        .⋆｡⋆☂˚｡⋆｡˚☽˚｡⋆.