Unsaid Love

thirty-two

Kim Jisoo, she is a dangerous woman, she could put a sword on my neck and I would say please. That crazy woman doesn't have any idea what she could've done to me.

Her existence itself empowered me as well as weaken me. For her, I could jump in a hell knowing she would love to see me burn. Her eyes which eager to show me what she actually want but the hesitation in it, always stops her. I know why she is restricted herself from falling again she is scared.

My Vita mia thinks I don't notice her but what she doesn't know is that she got my eyes on her every movement. Her small discomfort, a slight blush, her hesitation, her breath stops whenever I'm near to her, those times when she nervously gulps, the way her lips parted seeing me is disheveled state, her eyes which eager to roam on my body sending a goosebumps in my vein, I fucking notice everything.

But I know she needs time, & the day she will openly show she wants me I swear I'll not stop, nothing will stop me.

And how I desperately wish that day comes soon, I felt terrible whenever I say something out of my insecurities or helplessness, I couldn't help but end up pushing her away more than I can be close to her.

Kim Jisoo challenged me and my fears. She likes to test my temptation, she would stare at me like she craves me but then suddenly made me think all was just her little game. And it only frustrating me and increasing my urge to claim her.

The boundaries I have put around myself in those three years she is pushing it now. I'm afraid that if she knows what extent I went to have her she will end up despising me. Time is ticking and I don't think my secret will be safe for a long time, that's why I'm desperate to do anything to make her fall in love with me.

What did I saw, her talking with her bastard ex, made me realise that I can lose her again if I couldn't do anything, if I couldn't show her that I can be the man she wants, she would never consider me.

And at this point I don't even want to wait for her to be comfortable with me. I am ready to snatch her, without her own permission, from whoever she even think about.

From the time when my grandparents died in unfortunate rainy night it was very difficult for me to get in touch with rain, I easily get sick. Still this doesn't make me loose my sanity but when I didn't find my Vita mia inside the car. I felt again those anxiety creepily coming, the same fear which grips my heart in such a possession like he owns it. I refuses to believe that I am about to lose one last reason of my life.

Kim Jisoo who had no idea how she revived me just by calling my name with her sweet honey voice. As if it was a spell I could feel my heartbeating faster than anyone. And when I took her in my embrace and her lavender smell reaches to my nose only then I realise that she is safe and with me.