Weeping Angels

Part XIV: Between Hope and Ruin.

They sat in silence.

Then they sat some more.

“Say something.” Kettu pleaded. Doctor Windsor pulled the glasses off her face and sighed,

“You said that you felt nothing after it was all over?”

“Not a thing.” Kettu said quietly.

“That carried with you throughout all these years, didn’t it, Mr. Kinson?”

Kettu nodded.

“It must be hard, living without emotion, especially when you haven‘t properly grieved or expressed your anger.”

Kettu nodded again.

“Would you say you’ve been living in fear? Distracted by your father getting out of prison?”

“Not distracted. I feel like something has been stripped from me, my innocence, justice, something has been torn from me and now that I know he’s out there, I’m scared, sure, but I couldn’t care less if I ever see him again.”

“So you would say you hate your father?”

“No. Hate implies a form of strong emotion, which is what those kind of people feed off of, they enjoy to be hated. I’d say what I feel toward him is total apathy, uncaring, cold.”

“You have to have strong emotions somewhere in your life, Mister Kinson, internalizing all your emotions is unhealthy.”

“Emotions only get in the way.” Kettu looked down at the floor, “After all, that’s why I’m here.”

“What about this girl you were talking about? You said you have feelings for her, right?”

Kettu nodded, visualizing Nina’s face, the way her hair reflected the sunlight, the sparkle in her eyes, the sound of her voice.

“You’re smiling.” The Doctor noted.

“Seems I do whenever I think of her.” Kettu said, opening his eyes slowly to the cruel reality around him.

“And you say emotions only get in the way?” Doctor Windsor asked.

“They do. Emotions cloud your logical judgement, they are irrational, irresponsible, and the damage they cause is irreversible.” Kettu said, thinking for a moment, “Emotions ruin lives, just look at all the miserably married and miserably divorced men and women out there.”

“Are you saying you’re afraid of being in a relationship? Of commitment?”

Kettu opened his mouth, but he realized that Doctor Windsor was right. He not only feared rejection itself, but the commitment attached to the possibility of not being rejected.

He sighed heavily.

“You should call her and let her know how you feel.” Doctor Windsor said, standing up, “If she rejects you, you’re in a prime place to work through it, and if she returns your love, then you’re going to be on a faster road to recovery.”

“Wait, where are you going?” Kettu asked.

“You think you’re the only patient in this ward? There’s dozens of you people here.” Doctor Windsor offered a joking smile, and walked through the door, letting it close behind her.

Call her? Kettu thought, and felt a tinge of excitement creeping into his chest. He was looking forward to hearing her voice again, and felt that maybe, just maybe, Doctor Windsor was right. Maybe he should just tell her how he felt.