beautiful broken bones • Matty Healy x Reader

31 • the war...

March 28th, London
5:00pm

It had been roughly a week since Matty cheated on me. We haven't spoke since.
I've been high everyday since then. I haven't eaten since.

We had a show tonight, I was dreading it...
I had found out who the girl was. She was a new actress from New York that i used to know from MySpace and tumblr. The paparazzi photos were all taken down, i'm assuming Matty's legal team got ahold of them, i still wasn't sure if matty knew what i knew.

I hurried off into the bathroom to do a few lines before the show, my outfit was simple tonight.
A white lace corset and a short white skirt to match. I was also wearing white heeled mary janes that added an extra few inches to my height. My pure white outfit truly juxtaposed my intentions for the night. As the coke entered my system i felt euphoric again, hearing my manager introducing me on stage.
"shit" i mumbled, stumbling quickly to the stage.

I waved to everyone on stage, i quickly talked down the headset. I decided to change my set up a bit, doing a cover of one of matty's songs.

"this is a bit of a last minute change to one of my songs, i'm sure you'll know it. enjoy." i smirked over to matty who was side stage looking confused.

"And you're a liar! at least all of your friends are" Matty's face dropped as i sung.
"And so am i! just typically drowned in my car... it's my party and i'll cry to the end"
i stared towards matty, "you must try harder, than kissing all of my friends, you" i looked away after that lyric, feeling the tears falling.

"and it's so ironic, how it's only been a year" i sung with resentment and sadness, i felt betrayed.
"and it's not my fault, that i've fucked EVERYBODY here!" I yelled.
"yeah it takes a bit more.." tears were still flowing freely down my face. Mascara staining my face.

I started to get to the end of the song, feeling a bit faint, "yeah it takes a bit more, it takes a bit more" i tasted a metallic like sensation in my mouth, my nose felt wet.
I put my hand above my lips and felt blood pouring. Shit.

I quickly finished and ran off stage, collapsing on someone's legs.
Everything went black.

after the show -

I had woken up backstage in matty's dressing room, i sipped some of the water that was next to me.
"seriously y/n, i cant fucking believe you" his voice was like knives in my back.
"you're on fucking drugs again, god i bet you haven't been sober since you left you rehab, i'm fucking furious" he continued.
I stopped him, "matthew." i glared.
"what [nickname]? what now!" he shouted.
"Orla." my voice was laced with venom.
He went pale.
"you fucked Orla." i stated.
"no i- it's not what it- this isn't about me it's about you being on drugs" he was so angry it scared me. "how do you even know her name" he mumbled.
"i know her. and maybe this has got to do with me relapsing." i almost growled.
"relapsed.. so you were sober at some point. tell me truthfully when you got clean" he asked.
I sighed, "I relapsed when i got out of rehab and had been using again until we got together. and then the night of the party.. i took MDMA after i found out what you did and since then i've been on something or other"
He remained silent, searching for something to say, trying to read my facial expression.
"what the fuck" i heard blisses voice.
She walked into the room, assuming she heard everything tears filled my eyes.
"no no- bliss please it's-" i choked on my sob,
"no shut the fuck up y/n, you lied to me?" she sounded genuinely heartbroken.
"i'm so sorry" i felt no remorse for matty right now who was just sitting down with his head in his hands.
Bliss went to speak but just walked away. I stood up to go after her but Matty made me sit down.
"Look, [nickname]. Whatever you think happened with me and Orla- it was a mistak-" i cut him off.
"no matthew, that wasn't a mistake. getting an answer wrong on a maths test is a mistake. fucking a red headed whore whilst you're with me is NOT a mistake." i screamed.
"[nickname] YOU RELAPSED AND COULD'VE DIED TONIGHT." he shouted back.
hearing [nickname] with such anger broke me.
that used to be such a wonderful word to fall from his lips, but now it was bitter.