CUPID'S CLUB :: manifest ♡

update + results!!

hi everyone!! long time no see!!

the past few months have been SO hectic. i've been dealing with so many things: death, exams, health issues....the list goes on.

Thankfully, I am doing much better now. I passed my exams with flying colors lol, i'm so proud of myself.

as for manifestation: i havent been manifesting lately, i've been so unmotivated and stressed.
now that i've started high school i'm in a whole new world of studying and adapting to the rhythm, plus im in ''section internationale" (my french readers will know what im talking about) so i am extremely busy with school and barely have any time to myself or my thoughts. this means i barely have the time to even think about manifesting 😭

however, i have been finding small gaps in my schedule where i do take some time to think about it. and lately, my go to technique has been a vision board! i am a very visual person, so this works perfectly for me. i've made a board on pinterest that includes all my desires: clear skin, long hair, money, good grades, etc. the usual stuff yk?

on the days where i'm not too busy studying for exams, i go over my board every night before going to sleep and repeat affirmations like "i live life on easy mode", "everything works in my favor", "i have everything i could ever wish for", etc. then i visualise myself having my desires and fall asleep.

i havent really had time to focus on manifesting though so obviously nothing from my board has manifested, except for some money hehehehe.

other than that, i do have some other results!! basically i've been repeating these affirmations 24/7 for the past few weeks: "everyone loves me", "everyone is obsessed with me", etc. and guess what!!

i have had numerous friends tell me they love me and appreciate me. i have 4 boys crushing on me this year?!?! like lmaooo what??? thats crazy to me but lowkey...understandable 😏 LMAOO JKK

but yeahh i've been garnering a lot of attention lately iykm...

oh and lots of teachers have also been saying how much they appreciate me and enjoy having me as a student. (mmm this feeds my academic validation 😍😍)

speaking of academic validation...i have been lacking for the past month or so ha...ha....

let me explain

basically the class i'm in is made up of the smartest students in my year. (note: its my first year of french high school, which is equivalent to the 2nd year of high school in the U.S and i believe year 10 or 11 in the U.K)

and this year they brought in a wholee bunch of new students that used to study in public school.
p.s i go to a private school

so ofc to be accepted in my school you have to be quite smart cuz there's a bunch of exams to pass, and there's this law that says the new students have to go to this "elite class" of new students.
so, this year i find myself surrounded by a whole bunch of smart-ass know-it-alls who think they're better than the people who were in the school for years (like me). and since they studied in public school, they bizarrely have a head-start because they studies certain things we haven't gotten to yet, and their knowledge in languages and literature is somewhat better than students that were already in the school.

so to make things short i have a wholee bunch of competition this year + horrible teachers and one of them hates me, so she purposefully gives me bad grades in one of the most important subject that affects my average : French. (i genuinely cannot express how much i hate this subject its crazy)

and so facing this competition i find that i have extreme trouble keeping up with them, plus the schoolwork in high school is pretty hard. i feel really stupid when i'm with them and i just cant stand it. so my little academic validation needing self is suffering for this first trimester :)

in all honesty though, my grades are still good! they're definitely not bad, they're just not the best. i went from being top of my class for the past 3 years to being considered mediocre or average.

anyways so facing this i've quite lost motivation for studying. my class is usually like my family but this year i genuinely hate it, the new kids are so cringey and weird. like you know those kids that smell bad, are nerds, love anime, webtoons, etc. and are chronically online? thats them. (love anime and webtoons btw, but they take it to an extreme).

they also have no personality at all. they try so hard to be relatable and cool but its just annoying and cringey. i've lost all motivation to go to school and to study because being around them makes me depressed. i also feel so stupid compared to them.

which is why i have made a plan with multiple actions:

1. i am going to pray and manifest in order to fix my situation with my classmates and my teacher that hates me (she is also very racist towards my classmates and I)

2. i am going to focus on working hard and getting good grades for the 2nd trimester

3. i want to try and talk to the school counselor because i know that my relationship with my grades and self-esteem is not healthy.

4. i want to work on my mentality : i am paying money to be at this school so i can gain knowledge for myself, not to compare myself and beat myself up for not being on the same level as some weirdos i barely know. as long as i notice personal progress, then everything is fine! i need to focus on attaining my personal goals in life and achieving my dream job/life, not being distracted by these random npc's that i will never see again after high school.

and then obviously just putting more effort into my school work and grades and manifesting good results.

alright , that's it for my personal rant.

i'll be back soon with updates. let me know if there's anything you want me to talk about. until then, see ya! ♡♡