𝓞𝓾𝓻 𝓢𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽- 𝓙𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓮 𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓵𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓽

They don't and won't know

Johnies pov:
I watch her walk back to her room and I sit outside of the rooms. My insomniac ass won't be able to go back to sleep so I'll wait out here for a bit. Actually screw that idea Stevie will freak the fuck out if I'm not in there. I guess he thinks its some episode or something.

I stumble back into my room and grab my makeup bag. I  walk to the bathrooms i stand in front of the unbreakable mirror. Look I've seen Stevie slam his head into it and it wont break. I take out my concealer or whatever the fuck it is and smear it on my face blending it with my fingers and then grab my eyes shadow and putting it around my eye. Or at least trying to.

I poke the brush straight into my eye and i put the brush down "don't smearrrrr" i beg lifting my head up and blinking. I go back to it and adding red along the end as it blends smoothly and then i grab a eyeliner and add it to my waterline. I got some...fine a lot in my eye and it turned fully black. "Oh shit..." I blink about 1000 times and my eye turn back to its normal shade-ish.

I grab my mascara and add it to my eyelashes. Then I put all of it away and brush my rats nest of hair.

I sit in the bathroom for a while and then grab my empty foundation bottle and open it up to a few cigarettes and a lighter. I light one and take a few drags remembering Jake. I miss him.

"Yoooooo Johnnie theres a party tonight wanna go?" Jake asks with a smiling Tara "Pleaseeee Johnnie I really wanna go!" Tara says setting her hands up and begging I shake my head looking at twitter "Sounds cool, sure" I say calmly and Jake and Tara turn to each other and do some sort of handshake.

I look at them confused and they clasp there hands together as the turn around and both bump their asses together. "What the fuck are you doing? If you guys are gonna play patty cake go do it somewhere else.." I say slightly laughing and Tara cackles at me. Jake turns to Tara and sets his hand on her shoulder as they walk out. "Weirdos.." I mumble.

I blow out smoke and laugh before realizing the day after that was...

Jake came over to me and stole my phone "Hey! Give that back!" I beg as he goes to my camera roll, "no! Im looking for photos of us im making a blanket" he explains and I go into straight panic "okay I can just send you some photos just..give me back my phone.." I beg.

He turns to me "why do you not want me to look through your phone? You got like some dick pics on there?" He says in a joking manner. "No thats why I Have a Polaroid camera" I say sarcastically and he giggles then his face turns pale.

I become just as scared. "What?" I ask and he looks at me turning my phone off "....Why are you cutting? Again...?" He asks and i stand up "no..no im mot doing this with you!" I say and he grabs my arm pulling my sleeve up. "Holy...Johnnie.." he says disappointingly and i turn away as a tear falls.

"Just stop.." i say and turn around walking upstairs to my room and closing the door. I run my hands through my hair and pull at it. I go to my window and crawl out of it running to some bridge and i stand on the handle of it i see Jake running outside and looking for me. I step off the edge and stay in there letting all of the air out as i sink deeper i feel like im being pulled up.

Is this how it feels to die? Its like pure heaven...if thats even a place.

I wake up and see im in a hospital room on a stretcher a Doctor comes in and introduces herself as 'Dr. Amy'.