𝓞𝓾𝓻 𝓢𝓮𝓬𝓻𝓮𝓽- 𝓙𝓸𝓱𝓷𝓷𝓲𝓮 𝓖𝓾𝓲𝓵𝓫𝓮𝓻𝓽

Newbie

Johnnies pov:
I sit in the patient room as its patient break and hear Dr. Amys high heels clicking down the hallway. I know whats going on. Shes going to make me go to my room and then bring the new kid in. Great.

She comes out and i see her with her clipboard. "Johnnie, im going to ask you to go to your room." She demands but covers it with a smile. I roll my eyes and get up walking back to my room i see Carrie watching me walk away.

I get to my room and lay down pulling the covers over my head she holds the covers down. I look at her and she stares at me like im crazy. "Mikey is coming here in 5 minutes id prefer it if you looked almost half alive." She barks at me and i sit up. My thighs sore from the cuts and i think i just re-opened one. She skips out and i sit there, and slide a piece of the broken bottle from yesterday into my sleeve. Why the fuck did I try to kill myself right then and there? Like Jake was literally coming out..

Im laying down and so is blonde "if you were to kill yourself, how would you do it?" She mumbles and i blink "I-uh..." i wait for a minute thinking, i don't think I'd want to kill my self in some pussy way. Maybe like drowning. "I think every time someone thinks about suicide is either hanging yourself or Over Dosing. Id rather pass away in a cooler way I mean if your depressed in life you need to be happy in the after life...if its a thing." She giggles "I get your point.."

I turn and stare at her illuminated cheeks and buttoned shaped nose. "Why are you asking?"  I question and turn on my side propping myself on my shoulder.  She bites her lip turning her head to look up at me. "I think deep questions are better than any others.." we hear a door slam and it's Jake holding Tara.

"She just threw up, we need to go home.." Jake says slurring his words and I get into the front seat of the car, I really shouldn't be driving because:

1: I don't even have my drivers license
2: I'm a little drunk..

But it's whatever right? We begin driving and I'm swerving left to right as blonde shrieks. I turn to her "Do you even know how to drive?!" She screams closing her eyes with a cheeky smile. "Definitely not but who cares?" I say calmly she turns to me "You could've got an Uber!" She yelps and I shake my head. Good point.

I've been thinking about that party lately, it's kinda really fucking weird. She's pulling a younger man by the arm and into my room "Mikey this is.." I wait for her to introduce me and I realize she wants me to do it.  I sit there and I can tell she's getting embarrassed. Not my fault bitch.

He looks down at his shoes and sits on the empty bed, I clench my jaw. That's not for him, it's for Stevie. He's not Stevie... "You know I wonder how Jules will feel about this." I say and Dr. Amy's face goes pale, she's never liked Jules and never will just like me with this newbie. Anyways he has natural red hair so neither of us won the bet, and he has it grown to a good length cut short at the sides with brown eyes. He looks like a jock.

He's wearing vans which I thinks pretty cool for a jock you know? Dr. Amy storms out of the room and the new kid sets his knees to his chest looking at me "I-um I really like your style.. it's pretty sick.." he says shyly and I turn to him "Why are you here? You look to like normal.." I ask questionably and he scratches the back of his neck.

"I- um..I wasn't going to well in life and uh... everything started getting to hard so I uh... went crazy on a shit ton of um... alcohol..." he says embarrassed and I almost smile. "That's... different.." I look him up and down, he looks a little young "How old are you?" I question and he turns red "Oh! I'm...18.." he says looking back down at his shoes. I shake my head "Okay..."

I sit up and walk out of the room. Stopping at the door "If you want to meet the other patients just walk around...be careful who you meet though." I warm him and walk out to the bathroom taking the piece of plastic out of my pocket and going into a stall pulling my pants down and looking at the blood smeared all over my leg. Shit. I Cut around the area but it's sore and I'm lazy. I do almost 7 cuts when I hear someone come into the bathrooms. "Johnnie..?" A soft sweet voice says and I put my piece of plastic away. "Carrie?.."

I pull my pants up not caring my legs are shaking I open the door and see Carrie a little bit upset. "Yes..?" She looks down at my hand. "Why are you bleeding?!" She grabs my hand inspecting the blood on my fingers. I Look at her and shake my head. "Nose bleed.. don't worry.." I say calmly and she shakes her head, still not trusting me she looks up and hugs me. "Jules is coming... should I be scared?.." she asks and I shake my head "No...she's going to hurt the new kid since Stevie's gone or something...she loved Stevie..." I say remembering everything before the backstabbing I smile and brush her hair with my fingers . "I'll see you tonight.." I say and I walk back to my room

"Shitshitshitshitshit.." I whisper to myself as the Greif of relapsing hits. I think I was too upset yesterday to car but now...fuck.

I go to my bedroom and immediately fall asleep, it's like attempting suicide it's fun until you wake up and realize you're still here.

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A/N: it's like 1am rn I'm so tired😭 I'll post the night tmr but yeah!! Love you my lovely Emos🖤