My Ruination

Chapter 11.

~Maahira~

A week. A week of ignorance and dodging me like I was a stale piece of furniture in his house to acting like a territorial jerk with my professor. The silence that prevailed after was painfully long and piercing, Mr Grant was as if struck by lightning, staring at me unblinking. Every 2 out of 5 students in universities were married but never to a man with a reputation like Zaeden's.

The elite society was all about charisma and flamboyance, chivalry and archaical. And in a place like this, the stories of his ruthlessness and his abominable methods of business spread like wildfire. So Mr Grant's reaction as if I had dug myself a deep grave was pretty normal.

He straightened as soon as he collected himself and pulled back. And he was cautiously eyeing the white envelope he had just handed like he...he wanted to take that back. Oh God, he was rethinking the entire conversation.

"I...I can explain, Mr Grant. This was fairly new and I just didn't think it would be important." I begun scrambling for excuses that sounded so pathetic even to my own ears. I hated being put in a position like this, having to beg for something that's rightfully mine. All because of him.

"You do not owe any explanation to anyone. I respect your decision to keep your private life separated from your public life." He pulled his chair back, and left his seat, pushing the chair back into it's place. "But you should know. Your personal life greatly affects your professional life. As ambitious as you are, take your time reconsidering and reflecting." He gave a pointed smile and sauntered out of the library.

I would like to think he was talking about the offer but I knew better. He was talking about this...this relation. I wish I could tell him that I had no choice and if I did, he wouldn't be my choice in a million years. None of it mattered anymore. Consensual or not, it had happened and he was going influence my life for a very long time.

"Pack up your shit, Maahira. We are going home." He growled in his sharp tone, indicating that these were the last shreds of his patience. When I immediately didn't scramble to move and follow his directions, he pushed his chair back with a loud screech and slammed a book closest to me shut with a loud snap and I flinched.

My brother had always stressed on the importance of presenting a strong front even when you are shattered. Your weakness was their strength and no one can know if your confidence is fake or real, so as long as you have the benefit of the doubt, you can keep fooling them. But it was really difficult to be absolute fearless when things have been going south ward for way too long and you are always somehow, overpowered.

I closed my eyes shut to stop any tears from flowing free, hoping he hadn't noticed. But he had, ofcourse. He swiftly dropped back into the wooden chair and ran his tongue over his jaw looking slightly agitated.

"Maahira." The name sounded so deliciously foreign in his gravelly tone. "I am never going to hurt you."

"You were giving death threats to my professor. You had pointed the gun at my entire family and threatened my niece. It is only a matter of time. One strike and I am next." And the best part is no one was going to come looking for me, maybe except Rudra. I don't voice these thoughts.

He kept silent for a few minutes but with the corner of my eyes, I watched him shove his hand behind himself and pulling out the shining black metal. My breath was caught in my throat as he placed the gun on the mahogany desk adjacent to my books.

"Look at me." He said but I couldn't. I was scared and I was panicking, berating myself for speaking up at the wrong time and I was scanning the library for exits if my flight instincts kicked in or just someone who could delay his plans. So, no, I couldn't fathom looking at him right now.

"I said look at me damn it!" My head snapped to watch his eyes blazing with a ferocious heat, a fire that consume everything and a fire that could never be burnt out. I swallowed thickly and his eyes dropped to watch my throat working and probably the pounding pulse.

"I want you to keep the gun. I want you to use it on me if I ever touch you in a way that makes you uncomfortable or hurt you. I promised to protect you and I do not care if the blood spilled is mine or someone else's as long as it's not yours."

Something cracked loudly and sharply in my heart. I was frozen, trying to make some sense of this situation. Was I deluding myself into thinking any of this was real? But even as I desperately wanted to call out his lies, I knew there were none. He wasn't a man who needed to get behind petty methods like committing perjury or tricking. And he had just offered up his gun. A gun that looked very loaded and very working.

I kept hoping he was going to smirk and say, 'this is what you expected me to do'. But he doesn't.He looked so self-assured and confident in his words, there was no taking them back. And that made everything for much more confusing. All the conclusions I had drawn about him felt highly misplaced and erroneous.

"That's easy for you to say. You know I would never kill someone. And I would never do anything that is unfair to Darsh." It was not an easy thing to say. Giving up his gun was like letting me take the charge over us, it was a change in the dynamics that left him powerless and me powerful. And somehow, that sent very irrational and mixed signals to my sex.

"This is one of those things you will have to take my word for. Because I assure you will never need a reason to test that out."

"You" I pointed the tip of my index finger at him, "are offering protection against yourself to me?" I pointed the finger back at myself as it dug into my chest. He leaned in closer to me, so close that I could smell his aftershave lotion as an extension of myself.
"Yes. But the only protection you will be needing is for birth control because when I will be fucking you bare and cumming inside your tight cunt morning and night, you will not have a choice with that." He inhaled against my neck, "or maybe not."

~Zaeden~

Red bloomed on her golden skin as she rolled her eyes and looked away, exasperated. This was the reaction I wanted to see on her even if it was bratty and disobedient. This was the side of hers that was making my cock swell and strain against my slacks.

I never wanted to see her flinch again. I wasn't lying when I said I don't give a fuck about the bloodbath even if it was her family. The family she was desperately trying to protect and the family that never fought for her. Darsh was her family now. I was her family whether she liked it or not.

"Firstly, you're disgusting. Secondly, that is never going to happen." She rolled her eyes and slammed her books shut. "And now I have decided that I want to go back and that decision has nothing to do with you. Bring all the books." She feigned a sickly sweet smile, grabbed ahold of her purse and walked out of the library, her heels clacking loudly in the silence.

I carried the books to the librarian's desk as she looked up from her knitting magazine over her glasses. She disapprovingly shook her head and said, "You can issue only two books at a time, young man."

Just because she had a mop full of curly white hair on her head, she assumed she had the right to chastise everyone. "I can also walk out of here without acknowledging your presence. But the woman that passed by earlier has an annoying thing called moral compass and I am going to protect that."

She patiently shut the book and removed the glasses. Even if she does look like she will be fossilized within this library, she is not so extricated from the reality. She recognized the threat and she knows she will not be able to do shit. "Is she going to return these books?"

"Only if she wants to." I answered nonchalantly. "Fine. Just tell her while she is returning the books, she should also check the return policy on you."