My Ruination

Chapter 9.

~Maahira~

I was jerked towards him as he held me seated on the center console, my hands holding onto his shoulders due to the momentum. He wasn't towering over me like a devilish ogre anymore due to the increased height of the console but now we were at an equal level. His forehead against mine, his eyes against mine and his mouth against mine.

I have prided myself for being the woman who never caves to the temptation, whose desires exceeds the hunger in the robust male gazes. But my imagination ran covertly creative and amorously wild. My hair brushed against the side of his face, creating a curtain around us as his eyes lowered to my lips. The lust in his gaze was so rabid and arresting, my sense of distinction between imagination and reality was dwindling.

"This was my first and my last act of kindness for you. If you ever test my limits again, I will make sure that you will never find refuge in any corner of this world, not as long as you have my name." Oh, the imminent threat in his tone was crystal clear. So was my return back to the land of humble.

I pushed myself off his relentless hold and dropped back onto my seat on the either side of the console. Violence was never the solution. It was the goddamn answer to all my problems. But unfortunately for every answer I would have, he would have an encyclopedia for it.

"I will never have your name. You can keep your surname. I would rather not be recognized than be associated to you." I crossed my arms defensively across my chest and stared away from him, outside to watch the passing cars.

"It's a good thing your opinion on that is inadmissible." He said and my head snapped in his direction. He was laid back in his seat, slightly relaxed and manspreading. His sleeves were rolled back down and buttoned up, the raw benevolence in his face now coated with a deceiving composure.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" I questioned, my impatience leaving me unsettled.

He grabbed his suit jacket that hung from headrest of the passenger seat and dug into the inner pockets, retrieving a white envelope and handing it over to me. The address on the envelope was for Kaushal & Co. office but I ripped through the envelope and skimmed through it's content, my stomach churned and my blood curdled. He had intercepted my official documents, identification and all and according to them, I now identified only as 'Maahira Kaushal'.

This was my one and only desperate wish I couldn't fulfil by myself. I don't remember having any perfect dreamy childhood in my father's castle-like house but I remembered cringing everytime I had to write my surname. No one really suspected anything about my background. They just assumed I was some distant relative to the business tycoon, Keshav Damani. Especially when he was signed himself as my guardian, not as a father. I wanted to get rid of his name but not to be replaced by a 'Kaushal'. This was much worse, I was sure of it.

"Who gave you the right to go through my documents without my knowledge and change them? And...wait a minute. You need my signatures to go through any changes at all. How did you get that?" I looked back at him, my eyelids hurting from the width of my horrorstruck eyes.

He snapped his Patek Philipe watch in his wrists and said, "How do you think?" I didn't expect to find him ashamed of himself, not when he deliberately handed over the documents like the loots of a war he won but I certainly wasn't ready for the amusement either.

"You gave them money under the table, didn't you? " How could he be so unapologetic and boastful about this? How could he play such manipulative and disturbing games with someone within the span of only 24 hours.

"This is just the beginning." He said and took the documents back from my hands. I wanted to fight, to argue, to make empty threats which would have been a court notice for forgery and counterfeiting if not for his money and power. But something had crumbled inside me and I knew it was my determination, my zeal.

We were perfectly quiet for the rest of the way to his mansion like two strangers sharing a ride. But only one of us was soaking the pain and the torchure, afterall, only one of us was an apathetic monster.

The car pulled into the driveway as Zaeden was the first to get out of the car as he slammed the door rather aggressively and made the car reverberate. I took a deep breath to stabilize myself as I got down from the car myself and rounded the corner towards the mansion.

I went in first, as Zaeden followed, probably unsure if he could still trust me to not attempt anything stupid. He was cynical man who had no faith in the mere fact that we were acres into his estate which was not only surrounded by dense evergreen forest-like regions but also multitudes of his men scanning the perimeter.

I scoffed inaudibly and sped away from him, passing through the French double-doors but something collided against my body so hard, I was forced to envision stars in the blurry-haze of my mind. I held onto the door handles for support, stabilizing myself as I looked down to see a mass full of black hair around my knees.

A little boy stared up at me, resting his chin on my kneecap and tightening his hold around me. His chubby cheeks popped out like an inflated balloon as he adorably smiled back at me and his luscious black hair covers his forehead, just missing his eye. "Maahi." He uttered in a soft, gentle voice and it felt like someone had said my name so affectionately and tenderly for the first time.

Everything that had transpired in the last 12 hours was so rapid and detestable, I had completely forgotten about this little bundle of joy. This little baby had so subtly stolen a piece of my heart six months ago and the gaping hole had only grown wider. I still remember his firm hold and his blind faith in me, a complete stranger he found amongst the roaring fire. And his little mushy face poking out from my bulky jacket.

I dropped my hands, running my fingers slowly through his hair as a soft smile crept on my face. The only kid I have ever really been fond of was Heer, my niece, and even she was growing up to be whipsmart and sassy. She already protested against hugs and cuddles and all that "gooey stuff." But Darsh felt incredibly warm. He felt like home and that prospect was foreign to me.

"I missed you, Maahi." He murmured slowly and settled his chin into my saree like I was some cozy blanket. I slowly ran my fingers through his hair as I wondered where his mother could be. Was Zaeden raising him all by himself? I have never seen another woman with him even at that fair.

"I missed you too, Darsh." He grinned up at me and grabbed my hand and pulled me towards the countertop where Neerja was flipping what looked like small banana pancakes and looked at me peculiarly. Zaeden walked forward and picked him up in arm, setting his on the high chair near the counter. He planted a kiss on his forehead but Darsh doesn't pay any attention to his father as he shoves a small pancake in his mouth and with his other hand, held onto my hand. He played with my bangles and giggled at the sound like it was some musical instrument as I noticed Zaeden staring at our joined hands.