The scratching

Chapter 2

The next time Izuku woke up it was already dark outside. The boy laid there for a few minutes thinking about what had happened.

Izuku groaned as he tried to stand up. All Might surely did not hold back. The boy stood up, nearly screaming from the pain. Izuku huffed as the pain was nearly unbearable. He thought about staying there till everything would stop hurting but he knew that his classmates probably already noticed him missing. So, he stood up. Or at least tried to. His body hurt so much that his knees would give up underneath him every time he tried to stand up.

Finally, after at least 10 attempts to stand up he was carefully walking out of the training area. The poor boy limped to the dorms, not taking notice of the person that's watching him from a distance.

Inside the dorms, Midoriya quickly went to his room, avoiding everyone. He couldn't talk to anyone right now. He was in too much pain. The boy was scared that he couldn't hold his facade. No one, absolutely no one, could know about what's happening to him. It could ruin All Might's career as a hero. He couldn't handle the responsibility for ruining the safety of all Japan.

Izuku laid down in his bed and stared up the ceiling. Tears started to form in his eyes as he thought about what of a big disappointment he was.

He killed his mom because he was weak, he can't even make All Might proud. He wasn't worthy of anything. Just like he said. Izuku should've listened to him, and everything would be okay. If the boy just didn't run away none of this would've happened. If Izuku did something wrong, he always knew the fitting punishment. Now that he isn't in Izuku life anymore, the boy doesn't know how to punish himself. What's fitting? What isn't? No wait, he always said that no matter how harsh the punishment, it'd always fit Izuku crime. Izuku was too dumb to do anything and so the harsher the punishment, no matter for what, he would learn out of it.

That's right, he needs to be harsher with himself. He disappointed All Might today and Kacchan probably noticed that somethings wrong. What punishment was fitting for that? No eating? No, he doesn't do that anyways. Hurting himself? He also does that anyway.

Izuku stayed up till 2AM till he finally knew a punishment that'd fit his crime. So, the boy stood up and made his way towards the bathroom. There, he went to the bathtub and turned the heat of the water all the way up. The scratches from earlier were still fresh so it should hurt good. When the bathtub was filled with nearly boiling water, Izuku stepped in. Immediately, the pain shot up Izuku's spine. He wanted to scream. But he didn't, he deserved it. Izuku sat all the way down. He stayed in the water till it started to cool down. Even though, his arms hurt even more. So did his back and his stomach. It burned so much but he knew that after this punishment, he'd try even harder.

As Izuku stepped out of the tub and went to the mirror, he saw the bruise on his stomach. It was as big as two grown out hands and it hurt like hell. Izuku reminded himself that he deserved this. It was his fault that All Might had to be that strict.

Midoriya looked at himself some more in the mirror. He noticed just how ugly he looked. He was as pale as a ghost, way too skinny, had eye rings under his eyes and his hair lost its green. His hair, which looked just like his mothers, the only thing that reminded him of her, was starting to look more and more like his dads. There were more black and white strands of hair starting to form. Izuku felt like throwing up. He quickly ripped his eyes from the mirror, not being able to look at himself anymore. Why did his beautiful green hair start to faint?

The boy practically ran to his room. In his room, he laid down on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. Izuku straight up hated himself. His body, his personality, everything. The last thing he needed was to look like his dad. Izuku wanted to rip his hair from his body. He couldn't. He was too weak. Again.

He knew why though. The reason he is weak is because he ran away from him, the only one that cared about him. He would have made sure that Izuku was strong, even without a quirk. But no, he needed to run away. It was all his fault. Instantly, his hand reached for his arm. Even though his whole body hurt from his punishment he couldn't stop. He scratched and scratched until he stopped. There should be blood but there was none. His head throbbed and he whished he could just behead himself. His eyes started to get blurred, and his body felt weaker than usual. Izuku couldn't move. Why? There was no blood. No blood is good, since he doesn't need to clean that much. So why was he freaking out?

Because no blood meant that he was inhuman. Just like him. He never bled. One time, he said that there was no blood going through his veins. But there had to be blood, right? No blood meant that your heart wasn't working, which meant you would be death. Izuku clearly wasn't death.

Well, he was the closest thing to not being death since he wasn't really alive either. But that wasn't the point. Why the fuck isn't he bleeding? Midoriya looked down at his arm again just to see if he was still not bleeding or if his mind was playing tricks on him. He was in fact, still not bleeding. Tears start to form in his eyes. That meant that he really was inhuman. He was no better than him. The tears in his eyes never fell. Crying was for girls not for boys and if he wanted to be strong, he couldn't even think about crying. That, he was thought from the beginning. He only ever saw his Momma cry. Whenever Izuku came home looking like he was just hit by a train, he could see the tears in his mother's eyes. She was an ugly crier but she didn't care about that. She only cared about the fact that her son was being bullied in kindergarten and through middle school.

Should he go see Recovery girl and tell her that he wasn't bleeding like a normal person? She would ask unnecessary questions though. Aizawa? No, he'd make him go straight to Recovery girl.

Kacchan?

Could he trust his past bully and former best friend? He was sure Kacchan had noticed some things already. Kacchan would definitely tell Aizawa Sensei.

He was alone again. He could tell no one. He was alone just like in the past. He was always utterly alone. Life truly is a bitch. Izuku felt like karma was knocking on his door. He felt like he did something so bad that he did not deserve help. What did he ever do to deserve this? Maybe some time ago he accidently pushed a guy in the train and the guys yoghurt fell out of his backpack. Or he tried to flirt with someone's sibling. Maybe he looked at someone the wrong way. He truly does not know. The only thing he knows is that he cannot do this any longer. He was dying on the inside.

He was always dying on the inside but this time it felt like Izuku was being eaten alive. It physically hurt Midoriya to continue being alive.

A tear fell. And then another and another. Till he was crying. No matter how often he wiped his tears away they would not stop. So much for boys do not cry. A sob escaped Izuku's mouth. He tried to muffle them with his hands, but they were so loud and so broken that he was sure everyone in a 5km radius could here them. The sounds he made sounded like someone losing everything they had. They sounded broken. He can't remember the last time he cried. So, he lets his tears run down his face and lets the sobs escape his mouth. Izuku lets himself finally be human again. Something he thought was not possible for him. But he did it. He cried after 6 years again. Cried after being told that he wasn't allowed to.

He cried for his mother's dead, for the abuse he had to endure since he was a kid, for his robbed childhood, for everything. Izuku had not felt sad in such a long time. He thought he was not capable of emotions.

The boy cried for hours until the tears would not come out anymore. He thought about everything he had to endure in his life. Everything he survived. Some could say that Izuku was a little proud of himself for having emotions. Just a little though.

Rule number 6: never use emotions.

This is chapter 2 lol.
It's kinda short but I wanted to give y'all atleast something.

Who was watching him after he walked to the dorms?