Saioma Month 2023

The Villian

After the fourth trial, something in Kokichi breaks. He doesn't care about his plan, he doesn't care (as much) about finding the mastermind. He regrets everything, and he doesn't want to be the villain anymore. He just wants to be treated as human, to not have everyone hate him.

As he breaks down, he wonders if it's too late for forgiveness. The he ends up at Shuichi's door, pressing the buzzer.

Prompt : Identity Crisis

"Everyone... hates me... so the role of villain is perfect for me..."             

"I wanna enjoy this game filled with suspicion and betrayal from the bottom of my heart!"

         "The more you suffer, the more I enjoy it."

Trying not to run away, to curl up and hide, Kokichi continued to stalk towards the exit. He was breathing through his nose, to avoid the tell-tale signs of his ragged breath. But that just meant he could smell metallic blood. Bright pink, and choking, Horrible. Reminding him of Gonta's execution, of Kirumi's, of so many deaths... The scent of blood made him want to throw up.

Bile did pool in Kokichi's throat, just as he reached the elevator. He managed to push the door shut, waited for it to close, before Kokichi allowed himself to sink to the floor. Trembling almost as much as the machine he was riding in. But he forced down the bile, and he forced back what few tears were threatening to show themselves. He was the villain for god's sake, a self-proclaimed one at that. And with everything he had done... a self-made one as well.

Kokichi couldn't afford for anyone to see him cry. No-one deserved to see Kokichi cry, either. Not any of his 'classmates' and certainly not the people watching, whoever they were. They didn't deserve anything, let alone something near his true emotions. So as the elevator creaked that little bit more, signifying the ride being over, Kokichi forced himself to his feet. Standing slightly unsteadily, he left the elevator. He left the entire shrine of judgement, only stiffening slightly as he heard the elevator lower itself again. So everyone else would be out soon. He could face them.

As soon as he had left the shrine, more bile suddenly pooled in his throat. As silent as everything was, his fight or flight instinct began to kick in. His brain replacing the silence with the buzz of insects, the crackle of fire, a horrible cough. He shouldn't have multiple people in his life coughing up blood. Kokichi shouldn't... Kokichi shouldn't even be here. It isn't fair. He isn't the villain.

No, with everything he's done that's wrong. He is the villain. But he shouldn't have to be, even if this role did seem to be made for him. But that wasn't fair. Being this... person, wasn't truly Kokichi. He was a pacifist. The worst thing he had done before the killing game was petty crime, and pranks. A theft from an overzealous jewellery store. But never murder. He shouldn't have had to resort to murder, he didn't want to resort to murder.

Eventually, Kokichi found himself at the library. Staring up at a pile of neatly stacked books. No-one had touched them since Kaede had. The only changes in this library had been the removal of Rantaro's blood, and the rest of the crime scene. Moving almost on autopilot, Kokichi swung open the hidden door - looking at the card reader. He'd taken Shuichi's idea of placing dust there. And it had been disturbed, from when he'd most recently placed more on. So Kokichi put more dust on, trying and failing to pretend like this day was any other.

But he was trying to catch the mastermind. He wasn't all bad, at least not yet. His objective was still to ruin this game, which wasn't villainous. At least, he was fairly sure it wasn't villainous. He'd become so caught up in everything that had happened, he wasn't sure if what he was doing was right. But Kokichi was trying. He was trying.